Lord Jim by Joseph Conrad (motivational novels for students TXT) 📖

had not, in truth, said much. The man was too insignificant to be dangerous, though he was as full of hate as he could hold. He had called me “honourable sir” at every second sentence, and had whined at my elbow as he followed me from the grave of his “late wife” to the gate of Jim’s compound. He declared himself the most unhappy of men, a victim, crushed like a worm; he entreated me to look at him. I wouldn’t turn my head to do so; but I could see out of the corner of my eye his obsequious shadow gliding after mine, while the moon, suspended on our right hand, seemed to gloat serenely upon the spectacle. He tried to explain—as I’ve told you—his share in the events of the memorable night. It was a matter of expediency. How could he know who was going to get the upper hand? “I would have saved him, honourable sir! I would have saved him for eighty dollars,” he protested in dulcet tones, keeping a pace behind me. “He has saved himself,” I said, “and he has forgiven you.” I heard a sort of tittering, and turned upon him; at once he appeared ready to take to his heels. “What are you laughing at?”

I asked, standing still. “Don’t be deceived, honourable sir!” he shrieked, seemingly losing all control over his feelings. “He save himself! He knows nothing, honourable sir—nothing whatever.

Who is he? What does he want here—the big thief? What does he want here? He throws dust into everybody’s eyes; he throws dust into your eyes, honourable sir; but he can’t throw dust into my eyes. He is a big fool, honourable sir.” I laughed contemptuously, and, turning on my heel, began to walk on again. He ran up to my elbow and whispered forcibly, “He’s no more than a little child here—like a little child—a little child.” Of course I didn’t take the slightest notice, and seeing the time pressed, because we were approaching the bamboo fence that glittered over the blackened ground of the clearing, he came to the point. He commenced by being abjectly lachrymose. His great misfortunes had affected his head. He hoped I would kindly forget what nothing but his troubles made him say. He didn’t mean anything by it; only the honourable sir did not know what it was to be ruined, broken down, trampled upon. After this introduction he approached the matter near his heart, but in such a rambling, ejaculatory, craven fashion, that for a long time I couldn’t make out what he was driving at. He wanted me to intercede with Jim in his favour. It seemed, too, to be some sort of money affair. I heard time and again the words, “Moderate provision—suitable present.” He seemed to be claiming value for something, and he even went the length of saying with some warmth that life was not worth having if a man were to be robbed of everything. I did not breathe a word, of course, but neither did I stop my ears. The gist of the affair, which became clear to me gradually, was in this, that he regarded himself as entitled to some money in exchange for the girl. He had brought her up. Somebody else’s child. Great trouble and pains—old man now—suitable present. If the honourable sir would say a word… . I stood still to look at him with curiosity, and fearful lest I should think him extortionate, I suppose, he hastily brought himself to make a concession. In consideration of a “suitable present” given at once, he would, he declared, be willing to undertake the charge of the girl, “without any other provision—when the time came for the gentleman to go home.” His little yellow face, all crumpled as though it had been squeezed together, expressed the most anxious, eager avarice. His voice whined coaxingly, “No more trouble—natural guardian—a sum of money …”

 

‘I stood there and marvelled. That kind of thing, with him, was evidently a vocation. I discovered suddenly in his cringing attitude a sort of assurance, as though he had been all his life dealing in certitudes. He must have thought I was dispassionately considering his proposal, because he became as sweet as honey. “Every gentleman made a provision when the time came to go home,” he began insinuatingly.

I slammed the little gate. “In this case, Mr. Cornelius,” I said, “the time will never come.” He took a few seconds to gather this in.

“What!” he fairly squealed. “Why,” I continued from my side of the gate,” haven’t you heard him say so himself? He will never go home.”

“Oh! this is too much,” he shouted. He would not address me as “honoured sir” any more. He was very still for a time, and then without a trace of humility began very low: “Never go—ah! He—he—he comes here devil knows from where—comes here—devil knows why—to trample on me till I die—ah—trample” (he stamped softly with both feet), “trample like this—nobody knows why—till I die… .”

His voice became quite extinct; he was bothered by a little cough; he came up close to the fence and told me, dropping into a confidential and piteous tone, that he would not be trampled upon. “Patience—

patience,” he muttered, striking his breast. I had done laughing at him, but unexpectedly he treated me to a wild cracked burst of it.

“Ha! ha! ha! We shall see! We shall see! What! Steal from me! Steal from me everything! Everything! Everything!” His head drooped on one shoulder, his hands were hanging before him lightly clasped. One would have thought he had cherished the girl with surpassing love, that his spirit had been crushed and his heart broken by the most cruel of spoliations. Suddenly he lifted his head and shot out an infamous word. “Like her mother—she is like her deceitful mother. Exactly.

In her face, too. In her face. The devil!” He leaned his forehead against the fence, and in that position uttered threats and horrible blasphemies in Portuguese in very weak ejaculations, mingled with miserable plaints and groans, coming out with a heave of the shoulders as though he had been overtaken by a deadly fit of sickness. It was an inexpressibly grotesque and vile performance, and I hastened away.

He tried to shout something after me. Some disparagement of Jim, I believe—not too loud though, we were too near the house. All I heard distinctly was, “No more than a little child—a little child.” ‘