Quo Vadis by Henryk Sienkiewicz (detective books to read .TXT) 📖

were silent again, unable to bring words from their overcharged

breasts. The last lily reflections had died on the cypresses, and the

garden began to be silver-like from the crescent of the moon. After a

while Vinicius said,

 

“I know. Barely had I entered here, barely had I kissed thy dear hands,

when I read in thy eyes the question whether I had received the divine

doctrine to which thou art attached, and whether I was baptized. No, I

am not baptized yet; but knowest thou, my flower, why? Paul said to me:

‘I have convinced thee that God came into the world and gave Himself to

be crucified for its salvation; but let Peter wash thee in the fountain

of grace, he who first stretched his hands over thee and blessed thee.’

And I, my dearest, wish thee to witness my baptism, and I wish Pomponia

to be my godmother. This is why I am not baptized yet, though I believe

in the Saviour and in his teaching. Paul has convinced me, has

converted me; and could it be otherwise? How was I not to believe that

Christ came into the world, since he, who was His disciple, says so, and

Paul, to whom He appeared? How was I not to believe that He was God,

since He rose from the dead? Others saw Him in the city and on the lake

and on the mountain; people saw Him whose lips have not known a lie. I

began to believe this the first time I heard Peter in Ostrianum, for I

said to myself even then: In the whole world any other man might lie

rather than this one who says, ‘I saw.’ But I feared thy religion. It

seemed to me that thy religion would take thee from me. I thought that

there was neither wisdom nor beauty nor happiness in it. But to-day,

when I know it, what kind of man should I be were I not to wish truth to

rule the world instead of fahehood, love instead of hatred, virtue

instead of crime, faithfulness instead of unfaithfulness, mercy instead

of vengeance? What sort of man would he be who would not choose and wish

the same? But your religion teaches this. Others desire justice also;

but thy religion is the only one which makes man’s heart just, and

besides makes it pure, like thine and Pomponia’s, makes it faithful,

like thine and Pomponia’s. I should be blind were I not to see this.

But if in addition Christ God has promised eternal life, and has

promised happiness as immeasurable as the all-might of God can give,

what more can one wish? Were I to ask Seneca why he enjoins virtue, if

wickedness brings more happiness, he would not be able to say anything

sensible. But I know now that I ought to be virtuous, because virtue

and love flow from Christ, and because, when death closes my eyes, I

shall find life and happiness, I shall find myself and thee. Why not

love and accept a religion which both speaks the truth and destroys

death? Who would not prefer good to evil? I thought thy religion

opposed to happiness; meanwhile Paul has convinced me that not only does

it not take away, but that it gives. All this hardly finds a place in

my head; but I feel that it is true, for I have never been so happy,

neither could I be, had I taken thee by force and possessed thee in my

house. Just see, thou hast said a moment since, ‘I love thee,’ and I

could not have won these words from thy lips with all the might of Rome.

O Lygia! Reason declares this religion divine, and the best; the heart

feels it, and who can resist two such forces?”

 

Lygia listened, fixing on him her blue eyes, which in the light of the

moon were like mystic flowers, and bedewed like flowers.

 

“Yes, Marcus, that is true!” said she, nestling her head more closely to

his shoulder.

 

And at that moment they felt immensely happy, for they understood that

besides love they were united by another power, at once sweet and

irresistible, by which love itself becomes endless, not subject to

change, deceit, treason, or even death. Their hearts were filled with

perfect certainty that, no matter what might happen, they would not

cease to love and belong to each other. For that reason an unspeakable

repose flowed in on their souls. Vinicius felt, besides, that that love

was not merely profound and pure, but altogether new,—such as the world

had not known and could not give. In his head all was combined in this

love,—Lygia, the teaching of Christ, the light of the moon resting

calmly on the cypresses, and the still night,—so that to him the whole

universe seemed filled with it.

 

After a while he said with a lowered and quivering voice: “Thou wilt be

the soul of my soul, and the dearest in the world to me. Our hearts

will beat together, we shall have one prayer and one gratitude to

Christ. O my dear! To live together, to honor together the sweet God,

and to know that when death comes our eyes will open again, as after a

pleasant sleep, to a new light,—what better could be imagined? I only

marvel that I did not understand this at first. And knowest thou what

occurs to me now? That no one can resist this religion. In two hundred

or three hundred years the whole world will accept it. People will

forget Jupiter, and there will be no God except Christ, and no other

temples but Christian. Who would not wish his own happiness? Ah! but I

heard Paul’s conversation with Petronius and dost thou know what

Petronius said at the end? ‘That is not for me’; but he could give no

other answer.”

 

“Repeat Paul’s words to me,” said Lygia.

 

“It was at my house one evening. Petronius began to speak playfully and

to banter, as he does usually, whereupon Paul said to him: ‘How canst

thou deny, O wise Petronius, that Christ existed and rose from the dead,

since thou wert not in the world at that time, but Peter and John saw

Him, and I saw Him on the road to Damascus? Let thy wisdom show, first

of all, then, that we are liars, and then only deny our testimony.’

Petronius answered that he had no thought of denying, for he knew that

many incomprehensible things were done, which trustworthy people

affirmed. ‘But the discovery of some new foreign god is one thing,’ said

he, ‘and the reception of his teaching another. I have no wish to know

anything which may deform life and mar its beauty. Never mind whether

our gods are true or not; they are beautiful, their rule is pleasant for

us, and we live without care.’ ‘Thou art willing to reject the religion

of love, justice, and mercy through dread of the cares of life,’ replied

Paul; ‘but think, Petronius, is thy life really free from anxieties?

Behold, neither thou nor any man among the richest and most powerful

knows when he falls asleep at night that he may not wake to a death

sentence. But tell me, if Cæsar professed this religion, which enjoins

love and justice, would not thy happiness be more assured? Thou art

alarmed about thy delight, but would not life be more joyous then? As

to life’s beauty and ornaments, if ye have reared so many beautiful

temples and statues to evil, revengeful, adulterous, and faithless

divinities, what would ye not do in honor of one God of truth and mercy?

Thou art ready to praise thy lot, because thou art wealthy and living in

luxury; but it was possible even in thy case to be poor and deserted,

though coming of a great house, and then in truth it would have been

better for thee if people confessed Christ. In Rome even wealthy

parents, unwilling to toil at rearing children, cast them out of the

house frequently; those children are called alumni. And chance might

have made thee an alumnus, like one of those. But if parents live

according to our religion, this cannot happen. And hadst thou, at

manhood’s years, married a woman of thy love, thy wish would be to see

her faithful till death. Meanwhile look around, what happens among you,

what vileness, what shame, what bartering in the faith of wives! Nay,

ye yourselves are astonished when a woman appears whom ye call “univira”

(of one husband). But I tell thee that those women who carry Christ in

their hearts will not break faith with their husbands, just as Christian

husbands will keep faith with their wives. But ye are neither sure of

rulers nor fathers nor wives nor children nor servants. The whole world

is trembling before you, and ye are trembling before your own slaves,

for ye know that any hour may raise an awful war against your

oppression, such a war as has been raised more than once. Though rich,

thou art not sure that the command may not come to thee tomorrow to

leave thy wealth; thou art young, but tomorrow it may be necessary for

thee to die. Thou lovest, but treason is in wait for thee; thou art

enamoured of villas and statues, but tomorrow power may thrust thee

forth into the empty places of the Pandataria; thou hast thousands of

servants, but tomorrow these servants may let thy blood flow. And if

that be the case, how canst thou be calm and happy, how canst thou live

in delight? But I proclaim love, and I proclaim a religion which

commands rulers to love their subjects, masters their slaves, slaves to

serve with love, to do justice and be merciful; and at last it promises

happiness boundless as a sea without end. How, then, Petronius, canst

thou say that that religion spoils life, since it corrects, and since

thou thyself wouldst be a hundred times happier and more secure were it

to embrace the world as Rome’s dominion has embraced it?’

 

“Thus discussed Paul, and then Petronius said, ‘That is not for me.’

Feigning drowsiness, he went out, and when going added: ‘I prefer my

Eunice, O little Jew, but I should not wish to struggle with thee on the

platform.’ I listened to Paul’s words with my whole soul, and when he

spoke of our women, I magnified with all my heart that religion from

which thou hast sprung as a lily from a rich field in springtime. And I

thought then: There is Poppæa, who cast aside two husbands for Nero,

there is Calvia Crispinilla, there is Nigidia, there are almost all whom

I know, save only Pomponia; they trafficked with faith and with oaths,

but she and my own one will not desert, will not deceive, and will not

quench the fire, even though all in whom I place trust should desert and

deceive me. Hence I said to thee in my soul, How can I show gratitude to

thee, if not with love and honor? Didst thou feel that in Antium I

spoke and conversed with thee all the time as if thou hadst been at my

side? I love thee a hundred times more for having escaped me from

Cæsar’s house. Neither do I care for Cæsar’s house any longer; I wish

not its luxury and music, I wish only thee. Say a word, we will leave

Rome to settle somewhere at a distance.”

 

Without removing her head from his shouldcr, Lygia, as if meditating,

raised her eyes to the silver tops of the cypresses, and answered,—

“Very well, Marcus. Thou hast written to me of Sicily, where Aulus

wishes to settle in old age.” And Vinieius interrupted her with

delight.

 

“True, my dear! Our lands are adjacent. That