Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky (best selling autobiographies .txt) đ
- Author: Fyodor Dostoyevsky
- Performer: 0140449132
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Andrey Semyonovitch was an anĂŠmic, scrofulous little man, with strangely flaxen mutton-chop whiskers of which he was very proud. He was a clerk and had almost always something wrong with his eyes. He was rather soft-hearted, but self-confident and sometimes extremely conceited in speech, which had an absurd effect, incongruous with his little figure. He was one of the lodgers most respected by Amalia Ivanovna, for he did not get drunk and paid regularly for his lodgings. Andrey Semyonovitch really was rather stupid; he attached himself to the cause of progress and âour younger generationâ from enthusiasm. He was one of the numerous and varied legion of dullards, of half-animate abortions, conceited, half-educated coxcombs, who attach themselves to the idea most in fashion only to vulgarise it and who caricature every cause they serve, however sincerely.
Though Lebeziatnikov was so good-natured, he, too, was beginning to dislike Pyotr Petrovitch. This happened on both sides unconsciously. However simple Andrey Semyonovitch might be, he began to see that Pyotr Petrovitch was duping him and secretly despising him, and that âhe was not the right sort of man.â He had tried expounding to him the system of Fourier and the Darwinian theory, but of late Pyotr Petrovitch began to listen too sarcastically and even to be rude. The fact was he had begun instinctively to guess that Lebeziatnikov was not merely a commonplace simpleton, but, perhaps, a liar, too, and that he had no connections of any consequence even in his own circle, but had simply picked things up third-hand; and that very likely he did not even know much about his own work of propaganda, for he was in too great a muddle. A fine person he would be to show anyone up! It must be noted, by the way, that Pyotr Petrovitch had during those ten days eagerly accepted the strangest praise from Andrey Semyonovitch; he had not protested, for instance, when Andrey Semyonovitch belauded him for being ready to contribute to the establishment of the new âcommune,â or to abstain from christening his future children, or to acquiesce if Dounia were to take a lover a month after marriage, and so on. Pyotr Petrovitch so enjoyed hearing his own praises that he did not disdain even such virtues when they were attributed to him.
Pyotr Petrovitch had had occasion that morning to realise some five-per-cent bonds and now he sat down to the table and counted over bundles of notes. Andrey Semyonovitch who hardly ever had any money walked about the room pretending to himself to look at all those bank notes with indifference and even contempt. Nothing would have convinced Pyotr Petrovitch that Andrey Semyonovitch could really look on the money unmoved, and the latter, on his side, kept thinking bitterly that Pyotr Petrovitch was capable of entertaining such an idea about him and was, perhaps, glad of the opportunity of teasing his young friend by reminding him of his inferiority and the great difference between them.
He found him incredibly inattentive and irritable, though he, Andrey Semyonovitch, began enlarging on his favourite subject, the foundation of a new special âcommune.â The brief remarks that dropped from Pyotr Petrovitch between the clicking of the beads on the reckoning frame betrayed unmistakable and discourteous irony. But the âhumaneâ Andrey Semyonovitch ascribed Pyotr Petrovitchâs ill-humour to his recent breach with Dounia and he was burning with impatience to discourse on that theme. He had something progressive to say on the subject which might console his worthy friend and âcould not failâ to promote his development.
âThere is some sort of festivity being prepared at that... at the widowâs, isnât there?â Pyotr Petrovitch asked suddenly, interrupting Andrey Semyonovitch at the most interesting passage.
âWhy, donât you know? Why, I was telling you last night what I think about all such ceremonies. And she invited you too, I heard. You were talking to her yesterday...â
âI should never have expected that beggarly fool would have spent on this feast all the money she got from that other fool, Raskolnikov. I was surprised just now as I came through at the preparations there, the wines! Several people are invited. Itâs beyond everything!â continued Pyotr Petrovitch, who seemed to have some object in pursuing the conversation. âWhat? You say I am asked too? When was that? I donât remember. But I shanât go. Why should I? I only said a word to her in passing yesterday of the possibility of her obtaining a yearâs salary as a destitute widow of a government clerk. I suppose she has invited me on that account, hasnât she? He-he-he!â
âI donât intend to go either,â said Lebeziatnikov.
âI should think not, after giving her a thrashing! You might well hesitate, he-he!â
âWho thrashed? Whom?â cried Lebeziatnikov, flustered and blushing.
âWhy, you thrashed Katerina Ivanovna a month ago. I heard so yesterday... so thatâs what your convictions amount to... and the woman question, too, wasnât quite sound, he-he-he!â and Pyotr Petrovitch, as though comforted, went back to clicking his beads.
âItâs all slander and nonsense!â cried Lebeziatnikov, who was always afraid of allusions to the subject. âIt was not like that at all, it was quite different. Youâve heard it wrong; itâs a libel. I was simply defending myself. She rushed at me first with her nails, she pulled out all my whiskers.... Itâs permissable for anyone, I should hope, to defend himself and I never allow anyone to use violence to me on principle, for itâs an act of despotism. What was I to do? I simply pushed her back.â
âHe-he-he!â Luzhin went on laughing maliciously.
âYou keep on like that because you are out of humour yourself.... But thatâs nonsense and it has nothing, nothing whatever to do with the woman question! You donât understand; I used to think, indeed, that if women are equal to men in all respects, even in strength (as is maintained now) there ought to be equality in that, too. Of course, I reflected afterwards that such a question ought not really to arise, for there ought not to be fighting and in the future society fighting is unthinkable... and that it would be a queer thing to seek for equality in fighting. I am not so stupid... though, of course, there is fighting... there wonât be later, but at present there is... confound it! How muddled one gets with you! Itâs not on that account that I am not going. I am not going on principle, not to take part in the revolting convention of memorial dinners, thatâs why! Though, of course, one might go to laugh at it.... I am sorry there wonât be any priests at it. I should certainly go if there were.â
âThen you would sit down at another manâs table and insult it and those who invited you. Eh?â
âCertainly not insult, but protest. I should do it with a good object. I might indirectly assist the cause of enlightenment and propaganda. Itâs a duty of every man to work for enlightenment and propaganda and the more harshly, perhaps, the better. I might drop a seed, an idea.... And something might grow up from that seed. How should I be insulting them? They might be offended at first, but afterwards theyâd see Iâd done them a service. You know, Terebyeva (who is in the community now) was blamed because when she left her family and... devoted... herself, she wrote to her father and mother that she wouldnât go on living conventionally and was entering on a free marriage and it was said that that was too harsh, that she might have spared them and have written more kindly. I think thatâs all nonsense and thereâs no need of softness; on the contrary, whatâs wanted is protest. Varents had been married seven years, she abandoned her two children, she told her husband straight out in a letter: âI have realised that I cannot be happy with you. I can never forgive you that you have deceived me by concealing from me that there is another organisation of society by means of the communities. I have only lately learned it from a great-hearted man to whom I have given myself and with whom I am establishing a community. I speak plainly because I consider it dishonest to deceive you. Do as you think best. Do not hope to get me back, you are too late. I hope you will be happy.â Thatâs how letters like that ought to be written!â
âIs that Terebyeva the one you said had made a third free marriage?â
âNo, itâs only the second, really! But what if it were the fourth, what if it were the fifteenth, thatâs all nonsense! And if ever I regretted the death of my father and mother, it is now, and I sometimes think if my parents were living what a protest I would have aimed at them! I would have done something on purpose... I would have shown them! I would have astonished them! I am really sorry there is no one!â
âTo surprise! He-he! Well, be that as you will,â Pyotr Petrovitch interrupted, âbut tell me this; do you know the dead manâs daughter, the delicate-looking little thing? Itâs true what they say about her, isnât it?â
âWhat of it? I think, that is, it is my own personal conviction that this is the normal condition of women. Why not? I mean, distinguons. In our present society it is not altogether normal, because it is compulsory, but in the future society it will be perfectly normal, because it will be voluntary. Even as it is, she was quite right: she was suffering and that was her asset, so to speak, her capital which she had a perfect right to dispose of. Of course, in the future society there will be no need of assets, but her part will have another significance, rational and in harmony with her environment. As to Sofya Semyonovna personally, I regard her action as a vigorous protest against the organisation of society, and I respect her deeply for it; I rejoice indeed when I look at her!â
âI was told that you got her turned out of these lodgings.â
Lebeziatnikov was enraged.
âThatâs another slander,â he yelled. âIt was not so at all! That was all Katerina Ivanovnaâs invention, for she did not understand! And I never made love to Sofya Semyonovna! I was simply developing her, entirely disinterestedly, trying to rouse her to protest.... All I wanted was her protest and Sofya Semyonovna could not have remained here anyway!â
âHave you asked her to join your community?â
âYou keep on laughing and very inappropriately, allow me to tell you. You donât understand! There is no such rĂŽle in a community. The community is established that there should be no such rĂŽles. In a community, such a rĂŽle is essentially transformed and what is stupid here is sensible there, what, under present conditions, is unnatural becomes perfectly natural in the community. It all depends on the environment. Itâs all the environment and man himself is nothing. And I am on good terms with Sofya Semyonovna to this day, which is a proof that she never regarded me as having wronged her. I am trying now to attract her to the community, but on quite, quite a different footing. What are you laughing at? We are trying to
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