Loving Bella by Elizabeth Bonet (books suggested by bill gates .TXT) 📖

She pictured him, green eyes staring lifelessly at nothing while he lay in a mixture of blood, sweat and mud, dead. His red hair browned from the dirt he was covered in and fell against his forehead. The image was so real Bella had to run to the bathroom to rid herself of the bile rising in her throat, for the misery it was causing her. She sat on the toilet tears falling in rivulets down her face and onto her hands with which she cupped her face.
Her body trembled with fear and anxiety at her never being able to see him, or hold him again. “Oh God please no! Not him no! You can’t do that to me!” “All things work out for the good of those who fear the Lord.” Bella lifted swollen eyes to look up at the white ceiling. “How ironic. That verse came out of the same book that got me into this stupid mess.” Bella tentatively chewed on her lip.
Her heart constricted. Feeling as though she’d been stabbed with a knife and they twisted it. She gripped a hand to her chest and pulled her hair with the other. Crying out in pain when she tasted blood coming from her puffy lip. Bella felt another wave of nausea course through her body and groped for the trash can.
Her mouth tasted of blood, salt and vomit. And she didn’t feel much better than how she looked she was sure. She stood up and brushed a wet curl away from her face before she stared at the girl in the mirror in front of her. Her brown eyes seemed a dark burgundy color surrounded by pale and puffy skin.
“Well don’t I just look fantastic?!” She sighed. “How do people like me? I am so overly dramatic and sensitive…” Another image of Mason flashed before her. It was more of a memory though. The day after he had given her the keyboard. Leaning against the piano in all his estate. Looking as handsome as ever. Did he love her? He had said as much. And had definitely expressed it that day, in Pastor’s office… But did he really? She let this sink in as she walked solemnly back to her room.
What if he was just letting his passion take over the moment. Take advantage of her? Ruining her for anyone else who might want a chance at loving her. “Just like Collin.” Bella bit down on her lip. Chewing until she cried out in pain when an amount of blood escaped. Again. Her sigh turned into a sob. Wrenching a pillow to her face she writhed in pain on her bed. “Oh Mason I love you!”
She had cried on her bed for about an hour before her sobs had abated. Bella shivered on her bed. Her face was puffy and warm against a cold wet and soggy pillow. Fingering the lacy edge on the end Bella drew little circles on the fabric of her pillow. She flipped over on her bed to stare blankly at the white ceiling above her. Bella jolted up in her bed with a loud gasp.
“I have to find out if he loves me. I just have to!” Throwing on a pair of slippers Bella ran out the door nearly colliding with Natine, who was carrying a tray with mugs of hot apple cider on it. “Mother?” Bella asked confusedly assessing her mother head to toe. “What are you doing?” Natine gave her daughter a shy smile and set the tray down on a coffee table.
“Darlin’ you know how long you’ve been cooped up here crying?” Bella shook her head and shrugged. Natine shook her head and laughed. Steering her daughter to the window in the den. “Well how bout you take a look and try to guess.” Bella stared out the window at the darkness of their backyard which provided a view at the star studded sky overtop a small forest.
Bella gawked when she realized just how long she had been lying on her bed. “Well I did cry for a little bit but I think I fell a sleep on my bed.” Natine gave her daughter a tender look. “Would you care to tell me why?” Bella lifted her chin and faced her mother. With a stony look she shook her head. Natine sighed picking the tray back up and propped it with her hip. She gave Bella a pointed look. “So I guess you won’t be wanting this then?”
Bella cocked her head to the side, black curl falling over her thin shoulder. She smiled a little and reached out to grab a mug. “No, I’ll drink it. Wake me up a bit.” She gulped down the warm liquid and traced the top of the cup with her little finger. Her face masking any emotions she might’ve felt. Natine sighed and spun on her heel to walk away, leaving Bella in the den. Her daughter was a true enigma, why she wouldn’t trust her with anything was beyond her.
“Mama?” Natine turned to face her small, youngest daughter and sighed. “Yes baby?” Bella’s chocolate eyes softened to liquid before turning hard again. “Thank you for the cider.” Natine smiled sadly and shook her head, salt and peppered hair flying about her round face. “You’re welcome honey.” She left then, walking down the stairs carefully to not drop and spill the other cup of cider.
And trying her hardest not to let her daughter know she was crying. Bella stood in the middle of the den with the empty mug in her small hands. What had once been warm was now cold to the touch. Somewhat like how she had become. The girl everyone loved. Generous, outgoing, shy, and a would be wonderful future mother. Hovering over the church’s children as if they were her own.
Bella sighed and placed the cold cup on top of the table in front of her returning to her bedroom which had become her only place of solace. The small brunette began crying all over again when she realized what had taken place in her life. This warm, beautiful and gentle young woman turned cold, hard and brittle.
Go figure why nobody now liked her. Everyone had loved her before. They were attracted to her not only because of her outward beauty but her way about life as well. Now she was barely a shell of what she used to be, living life through the motions. Oh how she wished she could talk to Mrs. Joy! She would be able to tell her what to do, how to make things right again. She would be her shoulder to cry on.
But it was not to be. Mrs. Joy and Pastor had left with Bridgette to go on a trip around the country, and they wouldn’t be back until August. “Oh Lord, help me.” Bella sat stood frozen in the middle of the room and stared at the sky out her window. How had she forgotten?! She was in trouble and she knew it. God, Jesus! Was the only way she could get through this! And she had abandoned him at all costs.
She had pushed him aside with her “love” for Mason, and her thoughts about him. She had left her personal Lord and Savior to the dogs. “Oh what a terrible person I am! Lord forgive me! Bring me to you and help me never to stray again!” Bella fell to her knees against the hard, wood floor.
Her body wracked with her sobbing. Suddenly a warmth and peace flowed through- out her entire being, and she knew God was with her. “Thank You Lord, you are so great!” Out of no where Bella wanted to call Victoria tell her what had happened. She also wanted to see Chloe one of the girls she had “adopted” from her church who was always overflowing with joy and happiness bringing a smile to your face no matter what.
But what was most important Bella wanted to sing again. Something she had left off doing when she had gone into her depression. But now her heart overflowed with songs of praise to the God who loved her so much and saved her from her destitution. So she sang to the top of her lungs a new song of joy and praise.

~*~*~*~

“Chloe!” Bella called to the small, skinny girl with short curly and copper hair walking away from where she stood. Chloe turned to meet Bella with a huge grin on her elfin featured face. Her green and gold flecked eyes shined with joy and surprise making her array of freckles seem almost playful. “Yeah?” Bella ran up to catch up with the younger girl and gave her a tight squeeze.
“Come here I want to talk to you.” Chloe’s look so briefly went from joyful to confused to joyful again that you could barely even notice the difference. “Sure! Hey why… where are you taking me?” She giggled as she watched the older, girl black curls dancing behind her lead her away to some stone steps in front of their church.
She promptly sat down on the top step and pointed to the one below it. “Sit.” She commanded in no uncertain terms, she tried her hardest not to giggle. Chloe did as commanded perching very delicately on the edge of the seat with hands folded. Bella reached out to play with Chloe’s beautiful copper curls, twisting her hair so that it fell across the crown of her head. Small curls lined the back of her slim neck and fell in disarray.
Chloe sighed as the older girl continued to play with her hair. “You know? I missed you.” Bella’s hands shook before they went still. “You missed me?” The brunettes voice trembled with shock, try as she might to hide it. Chloe turned to face the older girl. Studying her intently a sad smile pulled to her lips. Oh how she had wanted to be like this tall, vivacious, and beautifully dark girl.
Not only was she pretty but her character and personality was always pristine and lovable. Chloe could even remember how when she was younger she would call Bella her “mother”. But when Mason left it left this girl everyone had once known and loved in the dust. And replaced the corpse with a desperate, disillusioned, depressed soul. How the months went by for her she knew not, but