Roughing It by Mark Twain (read with me .txt) 📖

CONTENTS.

CHAPTER I. My Brother appointed Secretary of Nevada-I Envy His Prospective Adventures-Am Appointed Private Secretary Under Him-My Contentment Complete-Packed in One Hour-Dreams and Visions-On the Missouri River -A Bully Boat

CHAPTER II. Arrive at St. Joseph-Only Twenty-five Pounds Baggage Allowed-Farewell to Kid Gloves and Dress Coats-Armed to the Teeth-The "Allen"-A Cheerful Weapon-Persuaded to Buy a Mule-Schedule of Luxuries-We Leave the "States"-"Our Coach"-Mails for the Indians-Between a Wink and an Earthquake-A Modern Sphynx and How She Entertained Us-A Sociable Heifer

CHAPTER III. "The Thoroughbrace is Broke"-Mails Delivered Properly-Sleeping Under Difficulties-A Jackass Rabbit Meditating, and on Business-A Modern Gulliver-Sage-brush-Overcoats as an Article of Diet-Sad Fate of a Camel-Warning to Experimenters

CHAPTER IV. Making Our Bed-Assaults by the Unabridged-At a Station-Our Driver a Great and Shining Dignitary-Strange Place for a Frontyard -Accommodations-Double Portraits-An Heirloom-Our Worthy Landlord -"Fixings and Things"-An Exile-Slumgullion-A Well Furnished Table-The Landlord Astonished-Table Etiquette-Wild Mexican Mules-Stage-coaching and Railroading

CHAPTER V. New Acquaintances-The Cayote-A Dog's Experiences-A Disgusted Dog-The Relatives of the Cayote-Meals Taken Away from Home

CHAPTER VI. The Division Superintendent-The Conductor-The Driver-One Hundred and Fifty Miles' Drive Without Sleep-Teaching a Subordinate-Our Old Friend Jack and a Pilgrim-Ben Holliday Compared to Moses

CHAPTER VII. Overland City-Crossing the Platte-Bemis's Buffalo Hunt-Assault by a Buffalo-Bemis's Horse Goes Crazy-An Impromptu Circus-A New Departure -Bemis Finds Refuge in a Tree-Escapes Finally by a Wonderful Method

CHAPTER VIII. The Pony Express-Fifty Miles Without Stopping-"Here he Comes"-Alkali Water-Riding an Avalanche-Indian Massacre

CHAPTER IX. Among the Indians-An Unfair Advantage-Laying on our Arms-A Midnight Murder-Wrath of Outlaws-A Dangerous, yet Valuable Citizen

CHAPTER X. History of Slade-A Proposed Fist-fight-Encounter with Jules-Paradise of Outlaws-Slade as Superintendent-As Executioner-A Doomed Whisky Seller-A Prisoner-A Wife's Bravery-An Ancient Enemy Captured-Enjoying a Luxury-Hob-nobbing with Slade-Too Polite-A Happy Escape

CHAPTER XI. Slade in Montana-"On a Spree"-In Court-Attack on a Judge-Arrest by the Vigilantes-Turn out of the Miners-Execution of Slade-Lamentations of His Wife-Was Slade a Coward?

CHAPTER XII. A Mormon Emigrant Train-The Heart of the Rocky Mountains-Pure Saleratus-A Natural Ice-House-An Entire Inhabitant-In Sight of "Eternal Snow"-The South Pass-The Parting Streams-An Unreliable Letter Carrier-Meeting of Old Friends-A Spoiled Watermelon-Down the Mountain-A Scene of Desolation-Lost in the Dark-Unnecessary Advice -U.S. Troops and Indians-Sublime Spectacle-Another Delusion Dispelled -Among the Angels

CHAPTER XIII. Mormons and Gentiles-Exhilarating Drink, and its Effect on Bemis-Salt Lake City-A Great Contrast-A Mormon Vagrant-Talk with a Saint-A Visit to the "King"-A Happy Simile

CHAPTER XIV. Mormon Contractors-How Mr. Street Astonished Them-The Case Before Brigham Young, and How he Disposed of it-Polygamy Viewed from a New Position

CHAPTER XV. A Gentile Den-Polygamy Discussed-Favorite Wife and D. 4-Hennery for Retired Wives-Children Need Marking-Cost of a Gift to No. 6 -A Penny-whistle Gift and its Effects-Fathering the Foundlings -It Resembled Him-The Family Bedstead

CHAPTER XVI The Mormon Bible-Proofs of its Divinity-Plagiarism of its Authors -Story of Nephi-Wonderful Battle-Kilkenny Cats Outdone

CHAPTER XVII. Three Sides to all Questions-Everything "A Quarter"-Shriveled Up -Emigrants and White Shirts at a Discount-"Forty-Niners"-Above Par-Real Happiness

CHAPTER XVIII. Alkali Desert-Romance of Crossing Dispelled-Alkali Dust-Effect on the Mules-Universal Thanksgiving

CHAPTER XIX. The Digger Indians Compared with the Bushmen of Africa-Food, Life and Characteristics-Cowardly Attack on a Stage Coach-A Brave Driver-The Noble Red Man

CHAPTER XX. The Great American Desert-Forty Miles on Bones-Lakes Without Outlets -Greely's Remarkable Ride-Hank Monk, the Renowned Driver-Fatal Effects of "Corking" a Story-Bald-Headed Anecdote

CHAPTER XXI. Alkali Dust-Desolation and Contemplation-Carson City-Our Journey Ended-We are Introduced to Several Citizens-A Strange Rebuke-A Washoe Zephyr at Play-Its Office Hours-Governor's Palace-Government Offices -Our French Landlady Bridget O'Flannigan-Shadow Secrets-Cause for a Disturbance at Once-The Irish Brigade-Mrs. O'Flannigan's Boarders-The Surveying Expedition-Escape of the Tarantulas

CHAPTER XXII. The Son of a Nabob-Start for Lake Tahoe-Splendor of the Views-Trip on the Lake-Camping Out-Reinvigorating Climate-Clearing a Tract of Land -Securing a Title-Outhouse and Fences

CHAPTER XXIII. A Happy Life-Lake Tahoe and its Moods-Transparency of the Waters-A Catastrophe-Fire! Fire!-A Magnificent Spectacle-Homeless Again-We take to the Lake-A Storm-Return to Carson

CHAPTER XXIV. Resolve to Buy a Horse-Horsemanship in Carson-A Temptation-Advice Given Me Freely-I Buy the Mexican Plug-My First Ride-A Good Bucker-I Loan the Plug-Experience of Borrowers-Attempts to Sell-Expense of the Experiment-A Stranger Taken In

CHAPTER XXV. The Mormons in Nevada-How to Persuade a Loan from Them-Early History of the Territory-Silver Mines Discovered-The New Territorial Government-A Foreign One and a Poor One-Its Funny Struggles for Existence-No Credit, no Cash-Old Abe Currey Sustains it and its Officers-Instructions and Vouchers-An Indian's Endorsement-Toll-Gates

CHAPTER XXVI. The Silver Fever-State of the Market-Silver Bricks-Tales Told-Off for the Humboldt Mines

CHAPTER XXVII. Our manner of going-Incidents of the Trip-A Warm but Too Familiar a Bedfellow-Mr. Ballou Objects-Sunshine amid Clouds-Safely Arrived

CHAPTER XXVIII. Arrive at the Mountains-Building Our Cabin-My First Prospecting Tour -My First Gold Mine-Pockets Filled With Treasures-Filtering the News to My Companions-The Bubble Pricked-All Not Gold That Glitters

CHAPTER XXIX. Out Prospecting-A Silver Mine At Last-Making a Fortune With Sledge and Drill-A Hard Road to Travel-We Own in Claims-A Rocky Country

CHAPTER XXX. Disinterested Friends-How "Feet" Were Sold-We Quit Tunnelling-A Trip to Esmeralda-My Companions-An Indian Prophesy-A Flood-Our Quarters During It

CHAPTER XXXI. The Guests at "Honey Lake Smith's"-"Bully Old Arkansas"-"Our Landlord" -Determined to Fight-The Landlord's Wife-The Bully Conquered by Her -Another Start-Crossing the Carson-A Narrow Escape-Following Our Own Track-A New Guide-Lost in the Snow

CHAPTER XXXII. Desperate Situation-Attempts to Make a Fire-Our Horses leave us-We Find Matches-One, Two, Three and the Last-No Fire-Death Seems Inevitable-We Mourn Over Our Evil Lives-Discarded Vices-We Forgive Each Other-An Affectionate Farewell-The Sleep of Oblivion

CHAPTER XXXIII. Return of Consciousness-Ridiculous Developments-A Station House-Bitter Feelings-Fruits of Repentance-Resurrected Vices

CHAPTER XXXIV. About Carson-General Buncombe-Hyde vs. Morgan-How Hyde Lost His Ranch -The Great Landslide Case-The Trial-General Buncombe in Court-A Wonderful Decision-A Serious Afterthought

CHAPTER XXXV. A New Travelling Companion-All Full and No Accommodations-How Captain Nye found Room-and Caused Our Leaving to be Lamented-The Uses of Tunnelling-A Notable Example-We Go into the "Claim" Business and Fail -At the Bottom

CHAPTER XXXVI. A Quartz Mill-Amalgamation-"Screening Tailings"-First Quartz Mill in Nevada-Fire Assay-A Smart Assayer-I stake for an advance

CHAPTER XXXVII. The Whiteman Cement Mine-Story of its Discovery-A Secret Expedition-A Nocturnal Adventure-A Distressing Position-A Failure and a Week's Holiday

CHAPTER XXXVIII. Mono Lake-Shampooing Made Easy-Thoughtless Act of Our Dog and the Results-Lye Water-Curiosities of the Lake-Free Hotel-Some Funny Incidents a Little Overdrawn

CHAPTER XXXIX. Visit to the Islands in Lake Mono-Ashes and Desolation-Life Amid Death Our Boat Adrift-A Jump For Life-A Storm On the Lake-A Mass of Soap Suds-Geological Curiosities-A Week On the Sierras-A Narrow Escape From a Funny Explosion-"Stove Heap Gone"

CHAPTER XL. The "Wide West" Mine-It is "Interviewed" by Higbie-A Blind Lead-Worth a Million-We are Rich At Last-Plans for the Future

CHAPTER XLI. A Rheumatic Patient-Day Dreams-An Unfortunate Stumble-I Leave Suddenly-Another Patient-Higbie in the Cabin-Our Balloon Bursted -Worth Nothing-Regrets and Explanations-Our Third Partner

CHAPTER XLII. What to do Next?-Obstacles I Had Met With-"Jack of All Trades"-Mining Again-Target Shooting-I Turn City Editor-I Succeed Finely

CHAPTER XLIII. My Friend Boggs-The School Report-Boggs Pays Me An Old Debt-Virginia City

CHAPTER XLIV. Flush Times-Plenty of Stock-Editorial Puffing-Stocks Given Me-Salting Mines-A Tragedian In a New Role

CHAPTER XLV. Flush Times Continue-Sanitary Commission Fund-Wild Enthusiasm of the People-Would not wait to Contribute-The Sanitary Flour Sack-It is Carried to Gold Hill and Dayton-Final Reception in Virginia-Results of the Sale-A Grand Total

CHAPTER XLVI. The Nabobs of Those Days-John Smith as a Traveler-Sudden Wealth-A Sixty-Thousand-Dollar Horse-A Smart Telegraph Operator-A Nabob in New York City-Charters an Omnibus-"Walk in, It's All Free"-"You Can't Pay a Cent"-"Hold On, Driver, I Weaken"-Sociability of New Yorkers

CHAPTER XLVII. Buck Fanshaw's Death-The Cause Thereof-Preparations for His Burial -Scotty Briggs the Committee Man-He Visits the Minister-Scotty Can't Play His Hand-The Minister Gets Mixed-Both Begin to See-"All Down Again But Nine"-Buck Fanshaw as a Citizen-How To "Shook Your Mother" -The Funeral-Scotty Briggs as a Sunday School Teacher

CHAPTER XLVIII. The First Twenty-Six Graves in Nevada-The Prominent Men of the County -The Man Who Had Killed His Dozen-Trial by Jury-Specimen Jurors-A Private Grave Yard-The Desperadoes-Who They Killed-Waking up the Weary Passenger-Satisfaction Without Fighting

CHAPTER XLIX. Fatal Shooting Affray-Robbery and Desperate Affray-A Specimen City Official-A Marked Man-A Street Fight-Punishment of Crime

CHAPTER L. Captain Ned Blakely-Bill Nookes Receives Desired Information-Killing of Blakely's Mate-A Walking Battery-Blakely Secures Nookes-Hang First and Be Tried Afterwards-Captain Blakely as a Chaplain-The First Chapter of Genesis Read at a Hanging-Nookes Hung-Blakely's Regrets

CHAPTER LI. The Weekly Occidental-A Ready Editor-A Novel-A Concentration of Talent-The Heroes and the Heroines-The Dissolute Author Engaged -Extraordinary Havoc With the Novel-A Highly Romantic Chapter-The Lovers Separated-Jonah Out-done-A Lost Poem-The Aged Pilot Man-Storm On the Erie Canal-Dollinger the Pilot Man-Terrific Gale-Danger Increases-A Crisis Arrived-Saved as if by a Miracle

CHAPTER LII. Freights to California-Silver Bricks-Under Ground Mines-Timber Supports-A Visit to the Mines-The Caved Mines-Total of Shipments in 1863

CHAPTER LIII. Jim Blaine and his Grandfather's Ram-Filkin's Mistake-Old Miss Wagner and her Glass Eye-Jacobs, the Coffin Dealer-Waiting for a Customer-His Bargain With Old Robbins-Robbins Sues for Damage and Collects-A New Use for Missionaries-The Effect-His Uncle Lem and the Use Providence Made of Him-Sad Fate of Wheeler-Devotion of His Wife-A Model Monument-What About the Ram?

CHAPTER LIV. Chinese in Virginia City-Washing Bills-Habit of Imitation-Chinese Immigration-A Visit to Chinatown-Messrs. Ah Sing, Hong Wo, See Yup, &c.

CHAPTER LV. Tired of Virginia City-An Old Schoolmate-A Two Years' Loan-Acting as an Editor-Almost Receive an Offer-An Accident-Three Drunken Anecdotes -Last Look at Mt. Davidson-A Beautiful Incident

CHAPTER LVI. Off for San Francisco-Western and Eastern Landscapes-The Hottest place on Earth-Summer and Winter

CHAPTER LVII. California-Novelty of Seeing a Woman-"Well if it ain't a Child!"-One Hundred and Fifty Dollars for a Kiss-Waiting for a turn

CHAPTER LVIII. Life in San Francisco-Worthless Stocks-My First Earthquake-Reportorial Instincts-Effects of the Shocks-Incidents and Curiosities-Sabbath Breakers-The Lodger and the Chambermaid-A Sensible Fashion to Follow -Effects of the Earthquake on the Ministers

CHAPTER LIX. Poor Again-Slinking as a Business-A Model Collector-Misery loves Company-Comparing Notes for Comfort-A Streak of Luck-Finding a Dime -Wealthy by Comparison-Two Sumptuous Dinners

CHAPTER LX. An Old Friend-An Educated Miner-Pocket Mining-Freaks of Fortune

CHAPTER LXI. Dick Baker and his Cat-Tom Quartz's Peculiarities-On an Excursion -Appearance On His Return-A Prejudiced Cat-Empty Pockets and a Roving Life

CHAPTER LXII. Bound for the Sandwich Islands-The Three Captains-The Old Admiral-His Daily Habits-His Well Fought Fields-An Unexpected Opponent-The Admiral Overpowered-The Victor Declared a Hero

CHAPTER LXIII. Arrival at the Islands-Honolulu-What I Saw There-Dress and Habits of the Inhabitants-The Animal Kingdom-Fruits and Delightful Effects

CHAPTER LXIV. An Excursion-Captain Phillips and his Turn-Out-A Horseback Ride-A Vicious Animal-Nature and Art-Interesting Ruins-All Praise to the Missionaries

CHAPTER LXV. Interesting Mementoes and Relics-An Old Legend of a Frightful Leap-An Appreciative Horse-Horse Jockeys and Their Brothers-A New Trick-A Hay Merchant-Good Country for Horse Lovers

CHAPTER LXVI. A Saturday Afternoon-Sandwich Island Girls on a Frolic-The Poi Merchant-Grand Gala Day-A Native Dance-Church Membership-Cats and Officials-An Overwhelming Discovery

CHAPTER LXVII. The Legislature of the Island-What Its President Has Seen-Praying for an Enemy-Women's Rights-Romantic Fashions-Worship of the Shark-Desire for Dress-Full Dress-Not Paris Style-Playing Empire-Officials and Foreign Ambassadors-Overwhelming Magnificence

CHAPTER LXVIII. A Royal Funeral-Order of Procession-Pomp and Ceremony-A Striking Contrast-A Sick Monarch-Human Sacrifices at His Death-Burial Orgies

CHAPTER LXIX. "Once more upon the Waters."-A Noisy Passenger-Several Silent Ones-A Moonlight Scene-Fruits and Plantations

CHAPTER LXX. A Droll Character-Mrs. Beazely and Her Son-Meditations on Turnips-A Letter from Horace Greeley-An Indignant Rejoinder-The Letter Translated but too Late

CHAPTER LXXI. Kealakekua Bay-Death of Captain Cook-His Monument-Its Construction-On Board the Schooner

CHAPTER LXXII. Young Kanakas in New England-A Temple Built by Ghosts-Female Bathers-I Stood Guard-Women and Whiskey-A Fight for Religion-Arrival of Missionaries

CHAPTER LXXIII. Native Canoes-Surf Bathing-A Sanctuary-How Built-The Queen's Rock -Curiosities-Petrified Lava

CHAPTER LXXIV. Visit to the Volcano-The Crater-Pillar of