Shame Of Maastricht: The Revelation of Misery by Marie N. Hallen (best way to read books .TXT) 📖

Lotte and wanted to sacrifice herself to save us. But this didn’t work. I didn’t want her to die. She doesn’t deserve death.”

“And Lotte did?” Nienke asked. “Tell us more. I like reasonable explanations. And I always wanted to know why.”

“Like I said, it was my choice. I chose the one who loved me more. I appreciate her. I regret leaving her then. I regret ignoring her. I regret every single day I spent without her. And if I could go back in time, I would never leave her. Remember how I met Lotte? It was my parents who introduced her to me. They wanted me to date someone older. Someone wiser. Someone who seemed to them to be more serious. And what? I felt their influence. So stupid.” Luuk confessed. He decided to be as open as possible.

“So you were basically cheating on your girlfriend when you met Lotte? And you told her you were single?”

“Yes. I just stopped talking to Kate. Distanced myself. I never told her I had a new girlfriend. She found out randomly, she didn’t even know. I think this was my biggest mistake and I was a real asshole.”

“Yes you are, Luuk. I can’t deny it. Someday you would leave our daughter just like that. I really hate you. Never thought I would ever say this, but I just hate you. You are the only person in this world I really hate.” Martijn said.

“I second that. You are human trash. I wish you were dead.” Nienke joined him. “We just wanted to see your face. And yes, you deserve being in this cage because you’re nothing but an animal.”

“And what are you going to do with me?”

“My hate is endless. I don’t even know. You don’t deserve anything you have. And if I say you don’t deserve life, this won’t be an exaggeration.”

“Don’t think you won’t be punished, Luuk,” Nienke added, “You will burn in hell, and I will make sure you get there as soon as possible. I hope there will be one asshole less in this world. Thanks Martijn, it wouldn't be possible without his help.”

“So you decided to contact the most dangerous criminal group of Maastricht to get your hands on me? How low. Couldn’t come and say it in my face?”

“I’ve known him for years and years. Even Lotte didn’t know. I asked them for help when you and Lotte were abducted. Too bad they failed to find Bas then, otherwise Lotte would be alive. I would leave you for dead if I knew what kind of person you are.”

“Then do it. Finish me right here.”

“We will. But not right now. We will talk again. When I’m ready to continue this conversation. It’s not over.”

The couple got up and left the room, as well as the rest of the group. Luuk had a lot of questions but he completely forgot everything he wanted to ask. He had a strange feeling inside. A feeling of emptiness, that kind of destructive apathy which ruins the inner world and makes the soul numb. He didn’t care if they were going to torture him, he also didn’t care if they starve him to death or simple never let him out. Everything lost its sense at once. At some point he started thinking of suicide but even these thoughts faded away. He felt so hollow that it seemed to him he could hear the echoes inside himself, vibrating in the total vacuum. Is there anything worse than to become empty?

Lotte’s parents didn’t show up for a few days. This endless expectation made him even more anxious and depressed. On the third day his parents paid him a visit again. When Luuk woke up, Maartijn was already sitting in front of the cage and looking at him.

“I don’t wish you a good morning,” he said once Luuk opened his eyes. “I came to look into the eyes of a soulless person once again.”

“And what?” Luuk asked in apathy. He didn’t even get up or sit and remained lying on the floor.

“Just look how miserable you are. Don’t you want to tell me something?”

“I don’t know what I should tell you. As I said, I’m really sorry. But it couldn’t be another way.”

“Are you sure?” Martijn laughed. “Maybe let’s think together?”

“Listen, I understand your grief. Even that I’m not a father myself. But I don’t understand what you want from me. If you like to think I’m a murderer, keep thinking about it. There hasn’t been a single day since that time when I didn’t think about it, when I didn’t bring up all those awful memories which will never leave my heart. Every day it passes before my eyes and I don’t know what I had to do and what I could change. I just love another person. I would like to see you in my shoes. Would be nice to know your choice. But I don’t wish anyone to go through something like this.”

“Lies. Lies. Why would I believe you?”

“Because you want me to come up with an excuse and repent, but I’m just telling you how I feel.”

“I’m sure you can’t love anyone. You just can’t take any responsibility. Even that you started doing drugs. You will always remain momma’s boy, a coward, a weak and miserable but arrogant person, who needs someone to guide you through and take care of you as if you were a kid. But kids aren’t as cruel as you are.”

“I’m no more cruel than you are. Put me in a cage. I don’t even want to comment on it. You follow those criminals. Because you are nothing without them. Incapable of capturing me. Why didn’t you come to my house to talk face-to-face? I really don’t understand. Why do you need all this circus? You could take a gun and shoot me if you think I’m guilty of all your troubles.”

“Killing you wouldn’t be enough. I would like to watch you suffer every day. It’s just that I can’t come up with a proper punishment for such a monster. Even Kate doesn’t deserve you. You know what? I let you choose the punishment yourself. I give you three days to come up with the idea. Then I come back.” Martijn got up and was about to leave when Luuk stopped him.

“Better finish me now. I won’t give up,” he said.

Martijn left and Luuk laughed in silence with a bitter laughter, rather full of sorrow than amusement. Choose your death - this is how actually it sounded. Luuk wasn’t afraid of death, he never thought of it. Even now he wasn’t scared, but the thought of Kate and his family was more painful than the fact he would have to die soon. He wished he could get to see Kate just for a moment and then die. But even if she were there with him, would she handle watching him suffer? He knew she wouldn’t. Her heart would just stop. No matter what kind of punishment he will choose, Kate will not survive if something happens to him. He knew she was weak and too attached to him. She will never love another man, she will never let anyone enter her life. And apart from this she was also handicapped. But he loved her anyway and wouldn’t ever leave her again, now he was absolutely sure about that. He felt sorry for letting old memories bring drugs into his life and thus ruin it. Kate deserves all the love and attention in the world. He felt these few months of drug abuse were a waste of time, the time he stole from their happy family life thus cutting out the happy moments. They could have more joyful moments if he didn’t let the drugs take over. If they could be together again, he would forget about everything, even the therapist wouldn’t be needed any more. But it was too late.

 

Apotheosis Of Monstrosity

Apotheosis Of Monstrosity

Kate finished her work and decided to cook a late night dinner. She was in the middle of the process, when Sterre entered the kitchen and sat down at the table.

“Are you hungry too?” Kate asked. “I thought you didn’t eat after six.”

“I just wanted to have some tea before I go to bed. Also done with my work for today, but don’t want to go to bed, to be honest.”

“Why not?”

“Want to make my life a bit longer. To have time for myself after work.” Sterre explained and smiled. “You don’t actually live when you go to bed early.”

“I understand. I will make some tea for you. How about something herbal? Shall we watch some movie after that?” Kate suggested.

“I’m fine with herbal tea, thank you. Yes, that’s what I thought about. But you know what kind of movies I like.”

“No problem, I like them too. Pick something for your taste.”

“Wow, I didn’t think you liked the horror genre. Really surprising.”

“I like it, it just depends on a certain movie. Always good to watch something exciting. Especially after all these horrors in my life, all these movies look like a joke. Not much to be scared of. Hilarious fake stuff.”

“You know, I’ve been thinking… This is really unfair that Stijn and Mrs. van der Meer behaved so reluctantly. Do you think they will join us next time? I’m asking because we need to rent a car or call Stijn again.”

“I can afford car rental at any time, but I’m really afraid that if we do manage to find something and end up in trouble, the car will also be in trouble. This is why I basically called his parents. But of course we will rent it, Luuk’s safety is first. I’m ok with paying a fine or to reimburse the cost of the car if they shoot or damage it. I hope you don’t think I’m mean.” Kate put a cup of tea in front of Sterre and gave her a few cookies.

“Thank you. I would ask my parents, but they won’t let me take the car. By the way, talking about parents… Where are the parents of that girl?”

“Which girl?”

“I forgot her name. The one your Luuk dated. The one who died, I mean.”

“Lotte. They are in Germany.” Kate replied. Suddenly Sterre choked on her tea and started coughing.

“What’s wrong, dear? Too hot?”

“No, it’s nice. But how do you know they are in Germany? When was the last time you saw them?”

“We have seen them at the funeral. Luuk said they couldn’t accept their loss and that they would be moving to Germany to change the place and everything,” Kate explained but Sterre’s face expressed enlightenment if not some kind of euphoria.

“Kate! Are you really sure? Repeat your words again for yourself.”

“What do you mean?”

“The mourning old couple who lost their only daughter. Was she the only child in her family? From what I understand, yes. And then they say they will be moving somewhere. Did anyone ask them? Of course I haven’t been there, but I’m sure they said it deliberately. And everyone believed it. Or didn’t even listen. Now they think they are gone. Do you know the address? Why not just check the house? Are you really sure they left? I won’t be surprised