Fables for the Frivolous by Guy Wetmore Carryl (digital ebook reader TXT) 📖

THE PERSEVERING TORTOISE

AND

THE PRETENTIOUS HARE
 
  Once a turtle, finding plenty
    In seclusion to bewitch,
  Lived a dolce far niente
    Kind of life within a ditch;
  Rivers had no charm for him,
    As he told his wife and daughter,
  "Though my friends are in the swim,
    Mud is thicker far than water."

  One fine day, as was his habit,
    He was dozing in the sun,
  When a young and flippant rabbit
    Happened by the ditch to run:
  "Come and race me," he exclaimed,
    "Fat inhabitant of puddles.
  Sluggard! You should be ashamed.
    Such a life the brain befuddles."

  This, of course, was banter merely,
    But it stirred the torpid blood
  Of the turtle, and severely
    Forth he issued from the mud.
  "Done!" he cried. The race began,
    But the hare resumed his banter,
  Seeing how his rival ran
    In a most unlovely canter.

  Shouting, "Terrapin, you're bested!
    You'd be wiser, dear old chap,
  If you sat you down and rested
    When you reach the second lap."
  Quoth the turtle, "I refuse.
    As for you, with all your talking,
  Sit on any lap you choose.
    I shall simply go on walking."

  Now this sporting proposition
    Was, upon its face, absurd;
  Yet the hare, with expedition,
    Took the tortoise at his word,
  Ran until the final lap,
    Then, supposing he'd outclassed him,
  Laid him down and took a nap
    And the patient turtle passed him!

  Plodding on, he shortly made the
    Line that marked the victor's goal;
  Paused, and found he'd won, and laid the
    Flattering unction to his soul.
  Then in fashion grandiose,
    Like an after-dinner speaker,
  Touched his flipper to his nose,
    And remarked, "Ahem! Eureka!"

  And THE MORAL (lest you miss one)
    Is: There's often time to spare,
  And that races are (like this one)
    Won not always by a hair.



THE PATRICIAN PEACOCKS

AND

THE OVERWEENING JAY

  Once a flock of stately peacocks
    Promenaded on a green,
  There were twenty-two or three cocks,
    Each as proud as seventeen,
  And a glance, however hasty,
    Showed their plumage to be tasty;
  Wheresoever one was placed, he
    Was a credit to the scene.

  Now their owner had a daughter
    Who, when people came to call,
  Used to say, "You'd reelly oughter
    See them peacocks on the mall."
  Now this wasn't to her credit,
    And her callers came to dread it,
  For the way the lady said it
    Wasn't recherché at all.

  But a jay that overheard it
    From his perch upon a fir
  Didn't take in how absurd it
    Was to every one but her;
  When they answered, "You don't tell us!"
    And to see the birds seemed zealous
  He became extremely jealous,
    Wishing, too, to make a stir.

  As the peacocks fed together
    He would join them at their lunch,
  Culling here and there a feather
    Till he'd gathered quite a bunch;
  Then this bird, of ways perfidious,
    Stuck them on him most fastidious
  Till he looked uncommon hideous,
    Like a Judy or a Punch.

  But the peacocks, when they saw him,
    One and all began to haul,
  And to harry and to claw him
    Till the creature couldn't crawl;
  While their owner's vulgar daughter,
    When her startled callers sought her,
  And to see the struggle brought her,
    Only said, "They're on the maul."

  It was really quite revolting
    When the tumult died away,
  One would think he had been moulting
    So dishevelled was the jay;
  He was more than merely slighted,
    He was more than disunited,
  He'd been simply dynamited
    In the fervor of the fray.

  And THE MORAL of the verses
    Is: That short men can't be tall.
  Nothing sillier or worse is
    Than a jay upon a mall.
  And the jay opiniative
    Who, because he's imitative,
  Thinks he's highly decorative
    Is the biggest jay of all.




THE ARROGANT FROG

AND

THE SUPERIOR BULL

  Once, on a time and in a place