Earth (The dumbest place to be) by Frank Lee Savage (best ereader under 100 .TXT) 📖

(Note, not finished)

Chapter 1


Mr. Folb sat in his favourite restaurant in orbit around the Borginian Sun where all the Nardee like himself and his son sitting opposite to him like to go. Being the unenthusiastic typical Nardee dad he is, he dismissed his son's wish to study human culture disguised as one of them.

"Son, really, what's so good about Earth? They're people are just animals and act like animals. Why, they're so arrogant that they think that they're smarter than the gorillas we sent to build their civilization within the forests there. Gorillas are perfect beings and why they fail to recognize this is beyond me." Waving his hand dismissively.

"Dad you're so old fashioned and boring. Everyone's doing it and I want excitement in my life. Earth may not look like much to you but I'm very keen to look at it. The problem with you is that the only thing you're ever interested in is your drink. They're nothing but tasteless anyway, talk about a waste of money."

"Hey I heard that" said the fish swimming in his father's drink "what's wrong with this cocktail. I didn't dive in just any random glass so that I can get swallowed by just anyone y'know."

He ignored the purple and blue thing's retort and thought of a way to convince his dad to let him go.

"I'll tell you what dad, let's make a bet. While I stay on Earth, I'll find you the best drink that planet has to offer. If it’s better than any of the rubbish they serve here-which by the way tastes like chemicals-you buy me my first shuttle. If I lose, then I'll buy you the finest drink this restaurant has to offer."

"Retard." The fish spat angrily. "Like there's nothing special about me."

"Believe me you stupid vlabalaba for brains, I don't think I'm missing out on much."

"Haaaaa I bet you're saying that just because you're not the one who's gonna swallow me by the time you finish yooooooour drink."

The little creature got to him more.

"You've got a gigantic ego for a little galladda like you with such a small mouth."

The cocktail fish made noises with his tongue out. "Jallaaala for brains."

"Pffffft just shut up you little fish faced douche. I hope you drown."

His dad laughing. "Ha ha ha DROWN he says. Anyway, pay no attention to my silly son. I'll keep you in my thoughts well because he's going to lose that retarded bet anyway, no matter how good the finest drink in this restaurant is ok."

Jealousy hit him because the way his dad talked so nicely to the fish in his drink, its more affection than he ever got from his empty headed father as a son. This made him even more determined to win his bet.

He groaned "You're so borrrrrring dad." Staring at the tank near the chef's counter, wondering if any of the marine life swimming in it had better sense than to choose his rich father's glass.

Text: Frank Lee Savage
Images: Frank Lee Savage
Publication Date: 04-02-2012

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
To anyone who likes silly stories and unashamed to like them.