Nonsense Books by Edward Lear (latest books to read txt) 📖
- Author: Edward Lear
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A was once an apple-pie,
Pidy, Widy, Tidy, Pidy, Nice insidy, Apple-pie!
B
b
B was once a little bear,
Beary, Wary, Hairy, Beary, Taky cary, Little bear!
C
c
C was once a little cake,
Caky, Baky, Maky, Caky, Taky caky, Little cake!
D
d
D was once a little doll,
Dolly, Molly, Polly, Nolly, Nursy dolly, Little doll!
E
e
E was once a little eel,
Eely, Weely, Peely, Eely, Twirly, tweely, Little eel!
F
f
F was once a little fish,
Fishy, Wishy, Squishy, Fishy, In a dishy, Little fish!
G
g
G was once a little goose,
Goosy, Moosy, Boosey, Goosey, Waddly-woosy, Little goose!
H
h
H was once a little hen,
Henny, Chenny, Tenny, Henny. Eggsy-any, Little hen?
I
i
I was once a bottle of ink
Inky, Dinky, Thinky, Inky, Blacky minky, Bottle of ink!
J
j
J was once a jar of jam,
Jammy, Mammy, Clammy, Jammy, Sweety, swammy, Jar of jam!
K
k
K was once a little kite,
Kity, Whity, Flighty, Kity, Out of sighty, Little kite!
L
l
L was once a little lark,
Larky, Marky, Harky, Larky, In the parky, Little lark!
M
m
M was once a little mouse,
Mousy, Bousy, Sousy, Mousy, In the housy, Little mouse!
N
n
N was once a little needle,
Needly, Tweedly, Threedly, Needly, Wisky, wheedly, Little needle!
O
o
O was once a little owl,
Owly, Prowly, Howly, Owly, Browny fowly, Little owl!
P
p
P was once a little pump,
Pumpy, Slumpy, Flumpy, Pumpy, Dumpy, thumpy, Little pump!
Q
q
Q was once a little quail,
Quaily, Faily, Daily, Quaily, Stumpy-taily, Little quail!
R
r
R was once a little rose,
Rosy, Posy, Nosy, Rosy, Blows-y, grows-y, Little rose!
S
s
S was once a little shrimp, Shrimpy, Nimpy, Flimpy, Shrimpy. Jumpy, jimpy, Little shrimp!
T
t
T was once a little thrush,
Thrushy, Hushy, Bushy, Thrushy, Flitty, flushy, Little thrush!
U
u
U was once a little urn,
Urny, Burny, Turny, Urny, Bubbly, burny, Little urn!
V
v
V was once a little vine,
Viny, Winy, Twiny, Viny, Twisty-twiny, Little vine!
W
w
W was once a whale,
Whaly, Scaly, Shaly, Whaly, Tumbly-taily, Mighty whale!
X
x
X was once a great king Xerxes,
Xerxy, Perxy, Turxy, Xerxy, Linxy, lurxy, Great King Xerxes!
Y
y
Y was once a little yew,
Yewdy, Fewdy, Crudy, Yewdy, Growdy, grewdy, Little yew!
Z
z
Z was once a piece of zinc,
Tinky, Winky, Blinky, Tinky, Tinkly minky, Piece of zinc!
A
A was an ape,
Who stole some white tape,
And tied up his toes
In four beautiful bows.
a!
Funny old Ape!
B
B was a bat,
Who slept all the day,
And fluttered about
When the sun went away.
b!
Brown little bat!
C
C was a camel:
You rode on his hump;
And if you fell off,
You came down such a bump!
c!
What a high camel!
D
D was a dove,
Who lived in a wood,
With such pretty soft wings,
And so gentle and good!
d!
Dear little Dove!
E
E was an eagle,
Who sat on the rocks,
And looked down on the fields
And the-far-away flocks.
e!
Beautiful eagle!
F
F was a fan
Made of beautiful stuff;
And when it was used,
It went puffy-puff-puff!
f!
Nice little fan.
G
G was a gooseberry,
Perfectly red;
To be made into jam,
And eaten with bread.
g!
Gooseberry red!
H
H was a heron,
Who stood in a stream:
The length of his neck
And his legs was extreme.
h!
Long-legged Heron!
I
I was an inkstand,
Which stood on a table,
With a nice pen to write with
When we are able.
i!
Neat little inkstand!
J
J was a jug,
So pretty and white,
With fresh water in it
At morning and night.
j!
Nice little jug!
K
K was a kingfisher:
Quickly he flew,
So bright and so pretty!—
Green, purple, and blue.
k!
Kingfisher, blue!
L
L was a lily,
So white and so sweet!
To see it and smell it
Was quite a nice treat.
l!
Beautiful Lily!
M
M was a man,
Who walked round and round;
And he wore a long coat
That came down to the ground.
m!
Funny old Man!
N
N was a nut
So smooth and so brown!
And when it was ripe,
It fell tumble-dum-down.
n!
Nice little Nut!
O
O was an oyster,
Who lived in his shell:
If you let him alone,
He felt perfectly well.
o!
Open-mouthed oyster!
P
P was a polly,
All red, blue, and green,—
The most beautiful polly
That ever was seen.
p!
Poor little Polly!
Q
Q was a quill
Made into a pen;
But I do not know where,
And I cannot say when.
q!
Nice little Quill!
R
R was a rattlesnake,
Rolled up so tight,
Those who saw him ran quickly,
For fear he should bite.
r!
Rattlesnake bite!
S
S was a screw
To screw down a box;
And then it was fastened
Without any locks.
s!
Valuable screw!
T
T was a thimble,
Of silver so bright!
When placed on the finger,
It fitted so tight!
t!
Nice little thimble!
U
U was an upper-coat,
Woolly and warm,
To wear over all
In the snow or the storm.
u!
What a nice upper-coat!
V
V was a veil
With a border upon it,
And a ribbon to tie it
All round a pink bonnet.
v!
Pretty green Veil!
W
W was a watch,
Where, in letters of gold,
The hour of the day
You might always behold.
w!
Beautiful watch!
X
X was King Xerxes,
Who wore on his head A mighty large turban,
Green, yellow, and red.
x!
Look at King Xerxes!
Y
Y was a yak,
From the land of Thibet:
Except his white tail,
He was all black as jet.
y!
Look at the Yak!
Z
Z was a zebra,
All striped white and black;
And if he were tame,
You might ride on his back.
z!
Pretty striped Zebra!
Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, etc. By Edward Lear.
1894
Originally published 1872
1894 Cover
Click for larger version.
In offering this little book—the third of its kind—to the public, I am glad to take the opportunity of recording the pleasure I have received at the appreciation its predecessors have met with, as attested by their wide circulation, and by the universally kind notices of them from the Press. To have been the means of administering innocent mirth to thousands, may surely be a just motive for satisfaction, and an excuse for grateful expression.
At the same time, I am desirous of adding a few words as to the history of the two previously published volumes, and more particularly of the first or original "Book of Nonsense," relating to which many absurd reports have crept into circulation, such as that it was the composition of the late Lord Brougham, the late Earl of Derby, etc.; that the rhymes and pictures are by different persons; or that the whole have a symbolical meaning, etc.; whereas, every one of the Rhymes was composed by myself, and every one of the Illustrations drawn by my own hand at the time the verses were made. Moreover, in no portion of these Nonsense drawings have I ever allowed any caricature of private or public persons to appear, and throughout, more care than might be supposed has been given to make the subjects incapable of misinterpretation: "Nonsense," pure and absolute, having been my aim throughout.
As for the persistently absurd report of the late Earl of Derby being the author of the "First Book of Nonsense," I may relate an incident which occurred to me four summers ago, the first that gave me any insight into the origin of the rumor.
I was on my way from London to Guildford, in a railway carriage, containing, besides myself, one passenger, an elderly gentleman: presently, however, two ladies entered, accompanied by two little boys. These, who had just had a copy of the "Book of Nonsense" given them, were loud in their delight, and by degrees infected the whole party with their mirth.
"How grateful," said the old gentleman to the two
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