A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Mark Twain (books for 7th graders txt) đ
- Author: Mark Twain
- Performer: 0553211439
Book online «A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Mark Twain (books for 7th graders txt) đ». Author Mark Twain
We tarried with a holy hermit, that night, and my opportunity came about the middle of the next afternoon. We were crossing a vast meadow by way of short-cut, and I was musing absently, hearing nothing, seeing nothing, when Sandy suddenly interrupted a remark which she had begun that morning, with the cry:
âDefend thee, lord!âperil of life is toward!â
And she slipped down from the horse and ran a little way and stood. I looked up and saw, far off in the shade of a tree, half a dozen armed knights and their squires; and straightway there was bustle among them and tightening of saddle-girths for the mount. My pipe was ready and would have been lit, if I had not been lost in thinking about how to banish oppression from this land and restore to all its people their stolen rights and manhood without disobliging anybody. I lit up at once, and by the time I had got a good head of reserved steam on, here they came. All together, too; none of those chivalrous magnanimities which one reads so much aboutâone courtly rascal at a time, and the rest standing by to see fair play. No, they came in a body, they came with a whirr and a rush, they came like a volley from a battery; came with heads low down, plumes streaming out behind, lances advanced at a level. It was a handsome sight, a beautiful sightâfor a man up a tree. I laid my lance in rest and waited, with my heart beating, till the iron wave was just ready to break over me, then spouted a column of white smoke through the bars of my helmet. You should have seen the wave go to pieces and scatter! This was a finer sight than the other one.
But these people stopped, two or three hundred yards away, and this troubled me. My satisfaction collapsed, and fear came; I judged I was a lost man. But Sandy was radiant; and was going to be eloquentâbut I stopped her, and told her my magic had miscarried, somehow or other, and she must mount, with all despatch, and we must ride for life. No, she wouldnât. She said that my enchantment had disabled those knights; they were not riding on, because they couldnât; wait, they would drop out of their saddles presently, and we would get their horses and harness. I could not deceive such trusting simplicity, so I said it was a mistake; that when my fireworks killed at all, they killed instantly; no, the men would not die, there was something wrong about my apparatus, I couldnât tell what; but we must hurry and get away, for those people would attack us again, in a minute. Sandy laughed, and said:
âLack-a-day, sir, they be not of that breed! Sir Launcelot will give battle to dragons, and will abide by them, and will assail them again, and yet again, and still again, until he do conquer and destroy them; and so likewise will Sir Pellinore and Sir Aglovale and Sir Carados, and mayhap others, but there be none else that will venture it, let the idle say what the idle will. And, la, as to yonder base rufflers, think ye they have not their fill, but yet desire more?â
âWell, then, what are they waiting for? Why donât they leave? Nobodyâs hindering. Good land, Iâm willing to let bygones be bygones, Iâm sure.â
âLeave, is it? Oh, give thyself easement as to that. They dream not of it, no, not they. They wait to yield them.â
âComeâreally, is that âsoothââas you people say? If they want to, why donât they?â
âIt would like them much; but an ye wot how dragons are esteemed, ye would not hold them blamable. They fear to come.â
âWell, then, suppose I go to them instead, andââ
âAh, wit ye well they would not abide your coming. I will go.â
And she did. She was a handy person to have along on a raid. I would have considered this a doubtful errand, myself. I presently saw the knights riding away, and Sandy coming back. That was a relief. I judged she had somehow failed to get the first inningsâI mean in the conversation; otherwise the interview wouldnât have been so short. But it turned out that she had managed the business well; in fact, admirably. She said that when she told those people I was The Boss, it hit them where they lived: "smote them sore with fear and dreadâ was her word; and then they were ready to put up with anything she might require. So she swore them to appear at Arthurâs court within two days and yield them, with horse and harness, and be my knights henceforth, and subject to my command. How much better she managed that thing than I should have done it myself! She was a daisy.
SANDYâS TALE
âAnd so Iâm proprietor of some knights,â said I, as we rode off. âWho would ever have supposed that I should live to list up assets of that sort. I shanât know what to do with them; unless I raffle them off. How many of them are there, Sandy?â
âSeven, please you, sir, and their squires.â
âIt is a good haul. Who are they? Where do they hang out?â
âWhere do they hang out?â
âYes, where do they live?â
âAh, I understood thee not. That will I tell eftsoons.â Then she said musingly, and softly, turning the words daintily over her tongue: "Hang they outâhang they outâwhere hangâwhere do they hang out; eh, right so; where do they hang out. Of a truth the phrase hath a fair and winsome grace, and is prettily worded withal. I will repeat it anon and anon in mine idlesse, whereby I may peradventure learn it. Where do they hang out. Even so! already it falleth trippingly from my tongue, and forasmuch asââ
âDonât forget the cowboys, Sandy.â
âCowboys?â
âYes; the knights, you know: You were going to tell me about them. A while back, you remember. Figuratively speaking, gameâs called.â
âGameââ
âYes, yes, yes! Go to the bat. I mean, get to work on your statistics, and donât burn so much kindling getting your fire started. Tell me about the knights.â
âI will well, and lightly will begin. So they two departed and rode into a great forest. Andââ
âGreat Scott!â
You see, I recognized my mistake at once. I had set her works a-going; it was my own fault; she would be thirty days getting down to those facts. And she generally began without a preface and finished without a result. If you interrupted her she would either go right along without noticing, or answer with a couple of words, and go back and say the sentence over again. So, interruptions only did harm; and yet I had to interrupt, and interrupt pretty frequently, too, in order to save my life; a person would die if he let her monotony drip on him right along all day.
âGreat Scott!â I said in my distress. She went right back and began over again:
âSo they two departed and rode into a great forest. Andââ
âWhich two?â
âSir Gawaine and Sir Uwaine. And so they came to an abbey of monks, and there were well lodged. So on the morn they heard their masses in the abbey, and so they rode forth till they came to a great forest; then was Sir Gawaine ware in a valley by a turret, of twelve fair damsels, and two knights armed on great horses, and the damsels went to and fro by a tree. And then was Sir Gawaine ware how there hung a white shield on that tree, and ever as the damsels came by it they spit upon it, and some threw mire upon the shieldââ
âNow, if I hadnât seen the like myself in this country, Sandy, I wouldnât believe it. But Iâve seen it, and I can just see those creatures now, parading before that shield and acting like that. The women here do certainly act like all possessed. Yes, and I mean your best, too, societyâs very choicest brands. The humblest hello-girl along ten thousand miles of wire could teach gentleness, patience, modesty, manners, to the highest duchess in Arthurâs land.â
âHello-girl?â
âYes, but donât you ask me to explain; itâs a new kind of a girl; they donât have them here; one often speaks sharply to them when they are not the least in fault, and he canât get over feeling sorry for it and ashamed of himself in thirteen hundred years, itâs such shabby mean conduct and so unprovoked; the fact is, no gentleman ever does itâthough Iâwell, I myself, if Iâve got to confessââ
âPeradventure sheââ
âNever mind her; never mind her; I tell you I couldnât ever explain her so you would understand.â
âEven so be it, sith ye are so minded. Then Sir Gawaine and Sir Uwaine went and saluted them, and asked them why they did that despite to the shield. Sirs, said the damsels, we shall tell you. There is a knight in this country that owneth this white shield, and he is a passing good man of his hands, but he hateth all ladies and gentlewomen, and therefore we do all this despite to the shield. I will say you, said Sir Gawaine, it beseemeth evil a good knight to despise all ladies and gentlewomen, and peradventure though he hate you he hath some cause, and peradventure he loveth in some other places ladies and gentlewomen, and to be loved again, and he such a man of prowess as ye speak ofââ
âMan of prowessâyes, that is the man to please them, Sandy. Man of brainsâthat is a thing they never think of. Tom SayersâJohn HeenanâJohn L. Sullivanâpity but you could be here. You would have your legs under the Round Table and a âSirâ in front of your names within the twenty-four hours; and you could bring about a new distribution of the married princesses and duchesses of the Court in another twenty-four. The fact is, it is just a sort of polished-up court of Comanches, and there isnât a squaw in it who doesnât stand ready at the dropping of a hat to desert to the buck with the biggest string of scalps at his belt.â
ââand he be such a man of prowess as ye speak of, said Sir Gawaine. Now, what is his name? Sir, said they, his name is Marhaus the kingâs son of Ireland.â
âSon of the king of Ireland, you mean; the other form doesnât mean anything. And look out and hold on tight, now, we must jump this gully.... There, we are all right now. This horse belongs in the circus; he is born before his time.â
âI know him well, said Sir Uwaine, he is a passing good knight as any is on live.â
âOn live. If youâve got a fault in the world, Sandy, it is that you are a shade too archaic. But it isnât any matter.â
ââfor I saw him once proved at a justs where many knights were gathered, and that time there might no man withstand him. Ah, said Sir Gawaine, damsels, methinketh ye are to blame, for it is to suppose he that hung that shield there will not be long therefrom, and then may those knights match him on horseback, and that is more your worship than thus; for I will abide no longer to see a knightâs shield dishonored. And therewith Sir Uwaine and Sir Gawaine departed a little from them, and then were they ware where Sir Marhaus came riding on a great horse straight toward them. And when the twelve damsels saw Sir Marhaus they fled into the turret as they were wild,
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