A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Mark Twain (books for 7th graders txt) š
- Author: Mark Twain
- Performer: 0553211439
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āWell, that is just the trouble about this state of things, it ruins so many horses.ā
āThat saw the other knight of the turret, and dressed him toward Marhaus, and they went so eagerly together, that the knight of the turret was soon smitten down, horse and man, stark deadāā
āAnother horse gone; I tell you it is a custom that ought to be broken up. I donāt see how people with any feeling can applaud and support it.ā
. . . .
āSo these two knights came together with great randomāā
I saw that I had been asleep and missed a chapter, but I didnāt say anything. I judged that the Irish knight was in trouble with the visitors by this time, and this turned out to be the case.
āāthat Sir Uwaine smote Sir Marhaus that his spear brast in pieces on the shield, and Sir Marhaus smote him so sore that horse and man he bare to the earth, and hurt Sir Uwaine on the left sideāā
āThe truth is, Alisande, these archaics are a little too simple; the vocabulary is too limited, and so, by consequence, descriptions suffer in the matter of variety; they run too much to level Saharas of fact, and not enough to picturesque detail; this throws about them a certain air of the monotonous; in fact the fights are all alike: a couple of people come together with great randomārandom is a good word, and so is exegesis, for that matter, and so is holocaust, and defalcation, and usufruct and a hundred others, but land! a body ought to discriminateāthey come together with great random, and a spear is brast, and one party brake his shield and the other one goes down, horse and man, over his horse-tail and brake his neck, and then the next candidate comes randoming in, and brast his spear, and the other man brast his shield, and down he goes, horse and man, over his horse-tail, and brake his neck, and then thereās another elected, and another and another and still another, till the material is all used up; and when you come to figure up results, you canāt tell one fight from another, nor who whipped; and as a picture , of living, raging, roaring battle, sho! why, itās pale and noiselessājust ghosts scuffling in a fog. Dear me, what would this barren vocabulary get out of the mightiest spectacle?āthe burning of Rome in Neroās time, for instance? Why, it would merely say, āTown burned down; no insurance; boy brast a window, fireman brake his neck!ā Why, that aināt a picture!ā
It was a good deal of a lecture, I thought, but it didnāt disturb Sandy, didnāt turn a feather; her steam soared steadily up again, the minute I took off the lid:
āThen Sir Marhaus turned his horse and rode toward Gawaine with his spear. And when Sir Gawaine saw that, he dressed his shield, and they aventred their spears, and they came together with all the might of their horses, that either knight smote other so hard in the midst of their shields, but Sir Gawaineās spear brakeāā
āI knew it would.ā
āābut Sir Marhausās spear held; and therewith Sir Gawaine and his horse rushed down to the earthāā
āJust soāand brake his back.ā
āāand lightly Sir Gawaine rose upon his feet and pulled out his sword, and dressed him toward Sir Marhaus on foot, and therewith either came unto other eagerly, and smote together with their swords, that their shields flew in cantels, and they bruised their helms and their hauberks, and wounded either other. But Sir Gawaine, fro it passed nine of the clock, waxed by the space of three hours ever stronger and stronger and thrice his might was increased. All this espied Sir Marhaus, and had great wonder how his might increased, and so they wounded other passing sore; and then when it was come noonāā
The pelting sing-song of it carried me forward to scenes and sounds of my boyhood days:
āN-e-e-ew Haven! ten minutes for refreshmentsāknductrāll strike the gong-bell two minutes before train leavesāpassengers for the Shore-line please take seats in the rear kāyar, this kāyar donāt go no furderāahh -pls, aw -rnjz, b'nan ners, s-a-n-dāches, pāop-corn!ā
āāand waxed past noon and drew toward evensong. Sir Gawaineās strength feebled and waxed passing faint, that unnethes he might dure any longer, and Sir Marhaus was then bigger and biggerāā
āWhich strained his armor, of course; and yet little would one of these people mind a small thing like that.ā
āāand so, Sir Knight, said Sir Marhaus, I have well felt that ye are a passing good knight, and a marvelous man of might as ever I felt any, while it lasteth, and our quarrels are not great, and therefore it were a pity to do you hurt, for I feel you are passing feeble. Ah, said Sir Gawaine, gentle knight, ye say the word that I should say. And therewith they took off their helms and either kissed other, and there they swore together either to love other as brethrenāā
But I lost the thread there, and dozed off to slumber, thinking about what a pity it was that men with such superb strengthāstrength enabling them to stand up cased in cruelly burdensome iron and drenched with perspiration, and hack and batter and bang each other for six hours on a stretchāshould not have been born at a time when they could put it to some useful purpose. Take a jackass, for instance: a jackass has that kind of strength, and puts it to a useful purpose, and is valuable to this world because he is a jackass; but a nobleman is not valuable because he is a jackass. It is a mixture that is always ineffectual, and should never have been attempted in the first place. And yet, once you start a mistake, the trouble is done and you never know what is going to come of it.
When I came to myself again and began to listen, I perceived that I had lost another chapter, and that Alisande had wandered a long way off with her people.
āAnd so they rode and came into a deep valley full of stones, and thereby they saw a fair stream of water; above thereby was the head of the stream, a fair fountain, and three damsels sitting thereby. In this country, said Sir Marhaus, came never knight since it was christened, but he found strange adventuresāā
āThis is not good form, Alisande. Sir Marhaus the kingās son of Ireland talks like all the rest; you ought to give him a brogue, or at least a characteristic expletive; by this means one would recognize him as soon as he spoke, without his ever being named. It is a common literary device with the great authors. You should make him say, āIn this country, be jabers, came never knight since it was christened, but he found strange adventures, be jabers.ā You see how much better that sounds.ā
āācame never knight but he found strange adventures, be jabers. Of a truth it doth indeed, fair lord, albeit ātis passing hard to say, though peradventure that will not tarry but better speed with usage. And then they rode to the damsels, and either saluted other, and the eldest had a garland of gold about her head, and she was threescore winter of age or moreāā
āThe damsel was?ā
āEven so, dear lordāand her hair was white under the garlandāā
āCelluloid teeth, nine dollars a set, as like as notāthe loose-fit kind, that go up and down like a portcullis when you eat, and fall out when you laugh.ā
āThe second damsel was of thirty winter of age, with a circlet of gold about her head. The third damsel was but fifteen year of ageāā
Billows of thought came rolling over my soul, and the voice faded out of my hearing!
Fifteen! Breakāmy heart! oh, my lost darling! Just her age who was so gentle, and lovely, and all the world to me, and whom I shall never see again! How the thought of her carries me back over wide seas of memory to a vague dim time, a happy time, so many, many centuries hence, when I used to wake in the soft summer mornings, out of sweet dreams of her, and say āHello, Central!ā just to hear her dear voice come melting back to me with a āHello, Hank!ā that was music of the spheres to my enchanted ear. She got three dollars a week, but she was worth it.
I could not follow Alisandeās further explanation of who our captured knights were, nowāI mean in case she should ever get to explaining who they were. My interest was gone, my thoughts were far away, and sad. By fitful glimpses of the drifting tale, caught here and there and now and then, I merely noted in a vague way that each of these three knights took one of these three damsels up behind him on his horse, and one rode north, another east, the other south, to seek adventures, and meet again and lie, after year and day. Year and dayāand without baggage. It was of a piece with the general simplicity of the country.
The sun was now setting. It was about three in the afternoon when Alisande had begun to tell me who the cowboys were; so she had made pretty good progress with itāfor her. She would arrive some time or other, no doubt, but she was not a person who could be hurried.
We were approaching a castle which stood on high ground; a huge, strong, venerable structure, whose gray towers and battlements were charmingly draped with ivy, and whose whole majestic mass was drenched with splendors flung from the sinking sun. It was the largest castle we had seen, and so I thought it might be the one we were after, but Sandy said no. She did not know who owned it; she said she had passed it without calling, when she went down to Camelot.
MORGAN LE FAY
If knights errant were to be believed, not all castles were desirable places to seek hospitality in. As a matter of fact, knights errant were not persons to be believedāthat is, measured by modern standards of veracity; yet, measured by the standards of their own time, and scaled accordingly, you got the truth. It was very simple: you discounted a statement ninety-seven per cent; the rest was fact. Now after making this allowance, the truth remained that if I could find out something about a castle before ringing the door-bellāI mean hailing the wardersāit was the sensible thing to do. So I was pleased when I saw in the distance a horseman making the bottom turn of the road that wound down from this castle.
As we approached each other, I saw that he wore a plumed helmet, and seemed to be otherwise clothed in steel, but bore a curious addition alsoāa stiff square garment like a heraldās tabard. However, I had to smile at my own forgetfulness when I got nearer and read this sign on his tabard:
"Persimmonās SoapāAll the Prime-Donna Use It.ā
That was a little idea of my own, and had several wholesome purposes in view toward the civilizing and uplifting of this nation. In the first place, it was a furtive, underhand blow at this nonsense of knight errantry, though nobody suspected that but me. I had started a number of these people outāthe bravest knights I could getāeach sandwiched between bulletin-boards bearing one device or another, and I judged that by and by when they got to be numerous enough they would begin to look ridiculous; and then,
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