Humor
Read books online » Humor » Moonbeams from the Larger Lunacy by Stephen Leacock (motivational books to read .TXT) 📖

Book online «Moonbeams from the Larger Lunacy by Stephen Leacock (motivational books to read .TXT) 📖». Author Stephen Leacock



1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... 35
Go to page:
etext in its original plain ASCII form (or in EBCDIC or other equivalent proprietary form). [2] Honor the etext refund and replacement provisions of this "Small Print!" statement. [3] Pay a trademark license fee to the Foundation of 20% of the gross profits you derive calculated using the method you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. If you don't derive profits, no royalty is due. Royalties are payable to "Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation" the 60 days following each date you prepare (or were legally required to prepare) your annual (or equivalent periodic) tax return. Please contact us beforehand to let us know your plans and to work out the details. WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO? Project Gutenberg is dedicated to increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed in machine readable form. The Project gratefully accepts contributions of money, time, public domain materials, or royalty free copyright licenses. Money should be paid to the: "Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." If you are interested in contributing scanning equipment or software or other items, please contact Michael Hart at: hart@pobox.com [Portions of this header are copyright (C) 2001 by Michael S. Hart and may be reprinted only when these Etexts are free of all fees.] [Project Gutenberg is a TradeMark and may not be used in any sales of Project Gutenberg Etexts or other materials be they hardware or software or any other related product without express permission.] *END THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.10/04/01*END* This etext was produced by Gardner Buchanan with help from the Distributed Proofers








MOONBEAMS FROM THE LARGER LUNACY By Stephen Leacock





CONTENTS

PREFACE

I.—SPOOF. A Thousand-Guinea Novel. New! Fascinating! Perplexing!

CHAPTER I

CHAPTER II

CHAPTER III

CHAPTER IV

II.—THE READING PUBLIC. A BOOK STORE STUDY

III.—AFTERNOON ADVENTURES AT MY CLUB

1.—The Anecdotes of Dr. So and So

2.—The Shattered Health of Mr. Podge

3.—The Amazing Travels of Mr. Yarner

4.—The Spiritual Outlook of Mr. Doomer

5.—The Reminiscences of Mr. Apricot

6.—The Last Man out of Europe

7.—The War Mania of Mr. Jinks and Mr. Blinks

8.—The Ground Floor

9.—The Hallucination of Mr. Butt

IV-RAM SPUDD THE NEW WORLD SINGER.

V.—ARISTOCRATIC ANECDOTES OR LITTLE STORIES OF GREAT

VI.—EDUCATION MADE AGREEABLE OR THE DIVERSIONS OF A

VII.—AN EVERY-DAY EXPERIENCE

VIII—TRUTHFUL ORATORY

IX.—OUR LITERARY BUREAU

X.—SPEEDING UP BUSINESS

XI.—WHO IS ALSO WHO

XII.—PASSIONATE PARAGRAPHS

XIII.—WEEJEE THE PET DOG

XIV.—SIDELIGHTS ON THE SUPERMEN

XV.—THE SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST

XVI—THE FIRST NEWSPAPER

XVII—IN THE GOOD TIME AFTER THE WAR











PREFACE

The prudent husbandman, after having taken from his field all the straw that is there, rakes it over with a wooden rake and gets as much again. The wise child, after the lemonade jug is empty, takes the lemons from the bottom of it and squeezes them into a still larger brew. So does the sagacious author, after having sold his material to the magazines and been paid for it, clap it into book-covers and give it another squeeze. But in the present case the author is of a nice conscience and anxious to place responsibility where it is due. He therefore wishes to make all proper acknowledgments to the editors of Vanity Fair, The American Magazine, The Popular Magazine, Life, Puck, The Century, Methuen’s Annual, and all others who are in any way implicated in the making of this book.

STEPHEN LEACOCK.

McGill University, Montreal. Oct. 1, 1915.









I.—SPOOF. A Thousand-Guinea Novel. New! Fascinating! Perplexing!







CHAPTER I

Readers are requested to note that this novel has taken our special prize of a cheque for a thousand guineas. This alone guarantees for all intelligent readers a palpitating interest in every line of it. Among the thousands of MSS. which reached us—many of them coming in carts early in the morning, and moving in a dense phalanx, indistinguishable from the Covent Garden Market waggons; others pouring down our coal-chute during the working hours of the day; and others again being slipped surreptitiously into our letter-box by pale, timid girls, scarcely more than children, after nightfall (in fact many of them came in their night-gowns),—this manuscript alone was the sole one—in fact the only one—to receive the prize of a cheque of a thousand guineas. To other competitors we may have given, inadvertently perhaps, a bag of sovereigns or a string of pearls, but to this story alone is awarded the first prize by the unanimous decision of our judges.

When we say that the latter body included two members of the Cabinet, two Lords of the Admiralty, and two bishops, with power in case of dispute to send all the MSS. to the Czar of Russia, our readers will breathe a sigh of relief to learn that the decision was instant and unanimous. Each one of them, in reply to our telegram, answered immediately SPOOF.

This novel represents the last word in up-to-date fiction. It is well known that the modern novel has got far beyond the point of

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... 35
Go to page:

Free ebook «Moonbeams from the Larger Lunacy by Stephen Leacock (motivational books to read .TXT) 📖» - read online now

Comments (0)

There are no comments yet. You can be the first!
Add a comment