a pirates field trip by ray rebmann (chrome ebook reader .txt) đź“–
- Author: ray rebmann
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The Sinister Case of the Field Trip Pirates
The boys groaned when they read the assignment sheet and saw that they were riding
with ancient Mr. Jocelyn for the annual field trip to the metropolitan museum of history.
“He’s still alive!” Huey shouted unhappily.
Mr. J had retired from teaching years ago, but he was still famous in kid legend. And he
still kept showing up at school to help his wife who was still teaching language arts to several
grades.
“He was a teacher here since the Civil War.” Louis chimed in, repeating a favorite kid
legend.
“Yeah, he was George Washington’s Social Studies teacher.” Dewey added, showing his
knowledge of history, placing George Washington at the Civil war.
The three musketeers.
Mr. Coffman the school’s guidance counselor called Huey, Dewey, and Louis that last
year and the name stuck. Of course, the only thing they knew about 3 musketeers was that it was
a candy bar that made your jaw sore chewing through it.
Speaking of candy, the boys were already out of their Halloween stash. Even the
homemade stuff they got from Mrs. J.
They still shuddered when they talked about their close call with death at the J’s.
* * *
Field Trip Pirates --2
The boys were the first kids in history to go to the J’s house for Trick or Treat.
They hoped the worse that would happen would be that Mr. J was one of those pain in the
neck wise guy old man types who always chose “trick” and you end up standing there looking
stupid because you don’t know any tricks you just want your candy in a hurry so you can get on
to the next house to pick up some more loot.
But they didn’t even see the old coot.
It had taken a lot for the boys to get up the nerve to go to the J’s house. The
house was set way off the road in the woods and it was dark back there and the J’s killer son
lived in the attic waiting to pounce on his next victim. Least ways that’s how kid legend told it
down through the centuries.
The Js had to keep on working even though they were way old, just so they could afford
to feed their son the monster in the attic. He ate a steady diet of raw meat. Fresh raw meat and
plenty of it every day.
No one had ever trick or treated at the J’s and lived to talk about it. So this year the 8th
graders dared the three musketeers to do it. The boys never backed down from a dare especially
if taking it would make them big shots with the super cool 8th graders.
The sucky part of the deal was that Huey had to take along Jason, his nerdy kid brother.
Mrs. J had answered the door when Huey finally got brave enough to knock. The old man
was nowhere to be seen. Probably out haunting a house, pestering some ghosts with one of his
legendary pop quizzes.
“Maybe the beast got him.” Dewey whispered pushing Huey in ahead of him.
Jason didn’t even get near the door. The boys told him to hide behind the bushes and wait
Field Trip Pirates --3
because the sissy would cry so loud that it would wake up all the murdered people
buried in the J’s basement.
They looked around nervously, They expected to find a huge punch bowl filled with
smoking poison and knockout drops and a tray loaded with candy apples each containing a rusty
razor blade. They knew there wouldn’t be any bowls of candy. There never are at haunted
houses.
They could tell Mrs J recognized them from school but wasn’t guessing who they were
too fast. She wanted to give Mr J time to sharpen the axe he’d use to butcher them up for their
kid’s midnight snack..
The boys hadn’t put much effort into their costumes, three pig face masks, their bodies
covered with a quilt Huey had snuck out of his mom’s closet (three pigs in a blanket, get it).
After about three seconds, Mrs. J got bored with the trick or treat bit and guessed who they were
Right down to the official school names each hated so much.
After that there wasn’t anything more to say. They all stood there, expecting her to start
yelling at them just like at school, since all she did in class was yell at them.
The boys weren’t exactly top students of hers.
That’s when the eerie music started.
Organ music like in those old fashioned black and white horror movies that are so boring
since no one gets chopped up and there’s no blood or flying body parts splattering the screen.
Then came the ghost sounds. Moaning from the basement, from all the beast’s past
victims.
The last straw was the screams from upstairs. The boys figured the beast had caught their
Field Trip Pirates --4
scent, broken its chains, and was coming after them.
So they quickly scooped up fistfuls of whatever it was Mrs J was holding out on a tray for
them and bashed down the door, making their escape.
Once they were safely outside, the musketeers galloped down the dirt path through the
woods, killer owls hooting all around and blood sucking bats flapping in their faces, and worse
creatures bubbling and gurgling from the bottom of the yucky creek that runs slowly thru the J’s
property.
Louis looked up and saw a light flickering in the attic window and curtains fluttering
back and forth.
The three musketeers broke the Olympic hundred meter dash record getting out of there.
“Did ya see the shadow moving behind the curtain?”
“It was a giant mutant half man, half monster holding an axe.”
“Did ya see the blood stains on the rug in the living room.”
“That’s where the J’s maniac son killed the men who came to take him away to the prison
for the criminally insane.”
They were busy reciting the rest of the kid legend when they spotted the headless giant
coming down the path after them. Tall as a tree, dressed from head to toe in black, the giant was
carrying a lit jack o lantern in his left hand and something sharp and shiny, like an old fashioned
weed whacker in his right.
Faster and faster, closer and closer he came. His legs didn’t move. It was like he was
magically floating off the ground.
Then, it was every man for him self for the three musketeers. They skeedaddled, leaving
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poor Jason in their dust.
Funny thing is, the monster passed right by Jason, who was just standing there gawking
through his mask. Instead, it kept after the boys until they were off the J’s place. Then it
turned and slowly passed Jason again, walking this time, real slow and kind of funny like it was
hurt and limping.
Then, it went back in the house. Through the front door, like a human being.
Jason swore he heard muffled laughter coming from deep inside the monster’s belly.
The boys didn’t stop running until they reached home where they caught an earful from
Huey’s mom about leaving Jason out by himself. She jumped in the car and drove them all over
the neighborhood before Huey finally admitted that Jason might be at the J’s house being fed to
their monster in the attic.
She looked at him and several times started to say something then decided it wasn’t
worth it.
She found Jason sitting in the J’s living room drinking hot apple cider and discussing
“The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” with MrJ.
The old relic was still alive! The boys looked around nervously, hoping he’d wrestled the
Monster back into his chains up in the attic.
And he had even given Jason one of his musty books, personally autographed
by the J’s personal pal, some guy named Washington Irving. The book’s so old it’ll probably fall
apart the minute Jason opens it, Huey whispered to the other musketeers.
The good news for the boys is that the 8th graders were hanging out like usual, doing
”nothing” yet still getting in trouble. They witnessed the whole thing. It was official. Huey,
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Dewey and Louis had trick or treated the J’s and were pretty cool as far as the 8th grade coolest
of cool kids were concerned.
That wouldn’t help matters much for anyone who had to deal with the three musketeers
and their swelled heads from that moment on.
* * *
Field Trip Pirates --7
Mr J was a lot older than his wife. Kid legend had it that he was at least 300 years old. He
had been retired from teaching for a lot of years but his wife still taught in the upper grades, so
he occasionally filled in at school, helping out on special events like field trips.
He especially enjoyed going on the field trips Some of the other teachers were surprised
to see his name on the list for this one since his odd behavior on the last trip to that particular
museum, to see the ancient Viking exhibition.
Several of the students on that trip snitched that Mr. J had put on a horned helmet, sang
real loud in some good awful language sounding like a cat that swallowed a bagful of nails, then
described in vivid detail the burning burial tradition practiced by the Vikings. One or two of the
smaller children mentioned having nightmares involving being trapped on burning Viking ships
after that trip.
Funny thing though, there was a dramatic increase in interest in history for the rest of that
marking period and the middle school kids from _____ scored higher on the state Social Studies
exam that year than any other school in the state.
Huey was disappointed that he was in old Mr. J’s group because Mr. J expected the kids
in his group to stick together with him. Then he moved too slow through the exhibits and stopped
to read and examine each item, which meant that the kids were expected to do the same.
The good news was that his best buds, Louis and Dewey, were in his group. That meant
plenty of fun and
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