Falling For You by Ana Fuentes (whitelam books txt) 📖

and fight the urge to look away. Not now, I can do this.
I laugh nervously.
Michael leans in closer to me, “What’s wrong babe, am I making you uncomfortable” he pressures.
I’m about to pull away when he crashes his lips into mine.
I’m sorry about my sister.
I gasp and pull away. Dylan.
Michael shoots me a confused and hurtful look, it pains my heart to see his reaction. I open my mouth, to try to explain what happened, but nothing comes out.
I look down at the ground ashamed, ashamed that I was thinking off Dylan, while Michael was kissing me. Dear god, I feel like a slut. Kissing two boys in the same day. I just can’t believe I like them both! Why is that? Why am I so confused about who I like?
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, looking up at Michael, his face no longer vulnerable. A stony, impassive look has replaced it.
“Whatever.” he replies, passing by me and walking out the door. I stare after him feeling as if part of me has left with him, while confused tears burn in my eyes. I let out an uneven breath, and wipe my eyes with my fists. Traces of blue, from my eye shadow, and smudges from the eyeliner come of in my hands. Turning them into what I would call a pathetic painting.
I leave the room and make my way to the bathroom, I go inside a stall and lock myself in. I drop my backpack on the floor, and take a seat on the toilet seat. I prop my elbows on my knees, and take ahold of my head.
“Why is life so confusing?” I mutter.
Is it alright to like two boys equally? Do I like them equally? Yes, well…..I think I do. It seems like the most logical answer, considering the fact that when I’m near them I feel lightheaded. I feel complete.
I bang my head against the bathroom stall wall, “Why?” I moan, closing my eyes.
***** I open my eyes, and find myself staring into pure darkness. I blink a couple of times, but the scene laid out in front of me remains the same. Then my senses kick in, my hands clench around rough little rocks, Sand I realize with a sudden jolt. I’m laying in sand.
Wind rushes by my ears, while waves crash to my right. The Ocean, I’m in a beach. And then the stars come in, they appear one by one, until the whole darkness above me is filled with glinting points. I watch open-mouthed, to dumb-struck to say anything.
“Beautiful isn’t it,” I sit up, and look around wildly, left then right. And then I see Mark, laying on the sand beside me, his black curls spread around his head like a halo, Halo? uh, not trying to be mean but he’s nowhere near an angle, and his arms crossed under his head.
“Mark?” I choke out, probably looking as confused as I feel.
Mark grins at me, showing his white straight teeth. “No durh you imbecile,” he replies, with a laugh.
God, how do I want to smack him. Slap the shit out of his grinning idiotic face. Wait, but why is he here? We never go anywhere together. Honestly we try our best never to be seen around each other. We rarely speak at home, only during summer, when we’re stuck at home alone together. But those are fights, not actual conversations.
“You’re such a dick-head Mark, how can any girl stand you.” I say with a roll of my eyes.
That instantly pisses him off, he sits up abruptly, face red. “Well at least I can get a girl” he boasts.
“No offence jerk-face but I don’t want a girl,” I shoot back, “In case you haven’t noticed I’m a girl myself, and I’m into guys.”
“Well excuuuuuuuuse me!” he yells, “But I wouldn’t know, due to the fact that you’ve never had a boyfriend before.” He finishes with a triumphant smirk, looking as if he just won the most important competition.
And that’s when I punch him. A full knock-out punch, I knock him to the ground, with a satisfying thump. I do it without thinking, my arm reacts on its own, surprising me. I never knew I had that much strength inside of me. I grin happily.
“Zooooooin, you duuuuumb ass!” comes Mark’s muffled moan, snapping me out of my happiness, and raining shame down on me.
Dear god, what have I done? Punch my own little brother. I bite my lip, what will mom say? She’ll kill me for sure. I still remember last year when I tripped him as a joke, she grounded me for a whole month. Just school, then straight home, to my room, where I sulked all alone. Well not alone to be exact, Dylan was there for me, he has always been there.
I smile, at that thought, yep Dylan has always been there, that’s why he’s my best friend. I sneaked out through my window, and met him in that little park two houses from my house. We never got caught. We spent endless hours together, laughing at the little kids whenever they fell. Mean, I know.
Wait, a second. I just got distracted, Mark needs me. I shift my attention back to Mark. To my surprise he’s sitting up, smirking at me. He looks as if nothing happened. Weird. Didn’t I just punch him? I could have sworn I did. But he has not bruise, or anything. He looks perfect as ever, that bastard. I see a strange glint in his blue eyes.
“What now,” I say, honestly his presence annoys me. Yeah, just his presence. I know, I know I’m mean.
“Whoa Dawn, don’t get your panties in a twist,” he says earning a glare from me, “I’m only here because you need me here.” I scoff at what he said. I need him here. What the hell, I don’t need him. I don’t need ANYONE! Okay, that’s a lie, I need Dylan in my life. And my mom and dad. And um, Michael.
“No offense bro, but I don’t need you here,” I reply shooting him a weird stare. Shouldn’t it be the opposite? I mean shouldn’t he need me? I’m older so in my brain that makes more sense, than me needing him. But what can I say, that’s just my opinion.
“Aww Dawn you’re so cute,” he exclaims, reaching over and ruffling my hair, I instantly slap his hand away. “But really, I’m here because you need some of my advice.” He finishes grinning at me crookedly.
I make a disgusted face, “Are you kidding me?” I ask him, “Me needing Your advice?”
He nods his head, his eyes shinning as bright as the stars. Oh no, how could I have been so stupid? This is about Dylan and Michael. My love life to be more exact. Oh shit, I cant believe I’m about to have this conversation with my little brother. How pathetic am I?
“You know you’re playing with them,” he starts, looking off into the distance. I follow his gaze, and find myself staring into the ocean.
“Playing?” I ask.
He turns to look at me, and I see a grin laid out on his face. “Hell yeah!” he exclaims and raises his arm to high five me. Wait a second, is he proud of that? What the hell is wrong with him? Everything obviously.
“NO!” I cry out, “It’s wrong, Mark, I cant be playing with boys like they’re not real. They have feelings too you know” I draw my knees up to my chest and hug them to me. Gah, when did it get so cold.
“Guys have feelings?” Mark says, feigning surprise. God, how stupid can he get.
I smack his leg, “Quit acting stupid.”
He shoots me a hurtful look, which makes me laugh. Oh my dear god, I’m laughing at something Mark. What is going on? Has the world gone mad? I think it has. How can it be that Mark and I are talking in perfect symphony. Well, er, as perfect as it can get.
“Dylan loves you.” He says, breaking the silence. I suck in a breath, and look at him like he’s gone mad. Did he just say Dylan loves me? But Mark has an honest look on his face.
Dear god, I know what’s going on! This isn’t Mark. Mark has probably been kidnapped by aliens and this is what they left in replace. An alien. A Mark-looking-Alien. A Marklien. Like a Martian. Well honest truth I did always suspect there was something wrong with him. I guess my predicaments came through.
“Zooooin? Zoooin you still here?” he asks me, snapping me out of my alien thought. Whoa, when did he get here.
“Huh?” I respond. Damn, real smart Zoin, he’ll be laughing about this, just wait and see. But to my surprise, he never laughs. It’s settled he’s an alien. A Marklien.
“He’s been into you ever since Freshman year, did you notice why he never had any girlfriends? Damn, I used to think he was gay-” he says looking up at the sky.
“Gay?!” I interrupt. He shoots me an irritated look that screams shut up. I close my mouth and let him continue.
“Anyway, like I was saying, I used to think he was, but then I started to see the way he looked at you, when you weren’t noticing.” He continues, “That’s when I was all like ‘Oh shit! Dylan likes Zoin! Gross!’-”
“Gross?! Okay Mark I’ve heard enough. Where is your goddamn advice?” I snap.
Mark glares at me, which to be honest makes me want to burp.
“I know you like them both, you feel confused. I also know that Michael likes you to, he thinks you’re different than the other girls at school.” He finishes. But wait a second, he’s never met Michael, and he’s never been around Dylan and I. And how does he know I like them? How does he know I like anyone? My god, what the fuck is going on around here.
I open my mouth, to say something, but I stop when I see Mark has an ‘I’ve been caught’ look. Oh my god, has he been reading my dairy?! Wait a damn second! I don’t even have a dairy. How does he know these things?
“I’m sorry Zoin” he says, and before I have time to register whats goin on, I feel something collide with my nose. I hear a crack from the impact, and a thump as I land hard on the ground. Then the sky fades to black.*****
“Fucken Mark!” I exclaim, as I lift my head with so much speed that I feel dizzy. My eyes take the bathroom stall walls, as my sight comes back to me. Bathroom? I’m still in the bathroom? Then that must mean…
It was a dream! Thank god, it was. I was worried that Mark actually knew about my love life for a second. But wait, why would I have that kind of dream? Why would I dream of Mark? Dream of him giving me advice, well, er more like trying to give me advice. Because no offense to him, he sucks at it.
I stand up, grab my backpack and get out of the stall room. I stop in front of the mirror, and make a disgusted face at what I see. My face, my face looks like shit. Eyeliner smudged around my eyes. I frown and get to work on my make-up. When I fix it, I take out my phone 2:45.
2:45! Oh shit, it’s passing time. I practically run out of the bathroom, and when I make it to the hall, I stand baffled at the sight in front of me. A horde of kids, walking in every direction, not caring if the shoulder anyone. I make my way through the crowd, and find my way to my math class. My last period, thank the gods, this is my last class. I enter the class, and sit down in my seat, thankfully I’m not