The Experiment by Cassidy Shay (i can read with my eyes shut .txt) 📖

never kissed. There is passion radiating from both of them, not just one.
I move on, and I feel a smile playing with my lips. Against my will, I feel happy for Carl, that he’s found a girl who he not only loves, but who loves him back just as much. The feeling quickly passes when I remember that he stole my innocence from me, the one thing I believed the Academy couldn’t take.
Before I realize where I’m going, I end up in Jack and Mary’s room. The door, like most of the others, is open, but no one is in there. I step in and look at the bed. As I expected, it’s not made. Jack never made his bed before, and I didn’t expect that to change just because he’s married now.
I hear footsteps behind me, but they stop at the doorway. I turn around to see Mary. She’s looking at me with open contempt, and it makes me take a step back. “Hello. Are you… uh… Mary?” I take a look at my clipboard, as if I couldn’t remember her name. “I’m Meagan. I just need a quick survey on the couples. The first question: Do you guys sleep on the bed together, or are you separated?”
She looks shocked for a moment, and then fear seeps into her eyes. “It’s okay,” I reassure her. “Because of the birth control chemical, we don’t expect you guys to continue to try and make babies anymore. We just want to know how this experiment has changed the relationships of the Azuli.” Wow. I hadn’t thought about what I would say if someone caught me, but I’d say I’m doing pretty well. I allow myself a small smile when I know that she actually believes me.
I ask her a few questions, and pretend to record the answers on the clipboard. After a few minutes, I head for the door. “Thank you for your cooperation,” I say, and then head toward Macy’s room.
I knock on the wall before entering, but I don’t get too far into room when I run into a wall of old memories. I try, and eventually succeed, to push them into the back of my mind. When I look around the room, I see Jack and Macy sitting on Macy’s bed.
“Hello. My name is Meagan. I’m just here to do a quick survey on how the marriage experiment has affected the relationships between the Azuli. Let’s start with you. You’re Macy, right?” She nods. I ask her a series of questions, carefully worded to seem important. In reality, I’m just asking her how she’s been dealing with me not being there and how she’s holding up. After a few minutes, I turn to Jack.” How have the marriages changed your relationship with Macy?”
He looks at her and smiles. “It’s brought us a whole lot closer. We were close before, but several things have happened because of the experiment. We have less people to depend on now, so we rely on each other more often. It’s brought us very close.”
I smile a little. I’m glad that they are going okay. “Alright. It says here that you were close friends with Carl, who also got married. How has your relationship with him changed?”
His eyes turn cold and he won’t look at me. His voice is hard when he tells me, “I don’t talk to him anymore. You see, he did something to Penny, and she tried to escape because of it. They caught her, and she’s been exterminated. And I can’t help but blame him for it. If he hadn’t done what he did, she might not have left. My relationship with Carl is pretty much nonexistent now. Just like my relationship with Penny.”
I pretend to write some notes down, and then thank them both. I turn to leave, but a part of me can’t let them keep on going without knowing the truth. I turn around to face them. “You know, I’m not supposed to say anything, but your sister isn’t dead.” I look right at him, knowing that if I get caught, I really will be exterminated. But he has a right to know. Jack looks at me like I’m crazy, and I don’t blame him.
His expression turns to one of anger. “How dare you,” he says. “She was my sister and Macy’s closest friend. How are you so barbaric as to lie to us about something like that?”
I take a deep breath. “Because it’s true, Jack. They didn’t exterminate her because she was pregnant with Carl’s baby. They married her off to another guy, Mathew. She miscarried twice. She’s pregnant again now, and she’s doing pretty well. She and Mathew get along, so it’s nothing like the situation with Carl.” Jack looks down at my stomach, which has started to show evidence of a baby, and I can tell that a theory is forming in his mind.
“Who is Mathew?” asks Carl, standing in the doorway. He’s holding the girl’s hand, and he looks confused. “And who is this?”
“It’s none of your business who I am or what I’m here for,” I snap. “What are you here for?” All happiness for him has vanished when I remember what he’s done. But my question is sincere. After Jack’s description of his current relationship with Carl, I’m surprised that he would show up.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but Macy’s roommate is my wife’s friend. We came by to drop this off for her, since she came in and slept on our floor last night.” He challenges me with his eyes. He knows that sleeping in someone else’s room is against the rules, except in the case of an emergency. Judging by the confidence in his eyes, he assumes that he has intimidated me enough that I won’t tell. Part of me wants to tell him the real reason why I won’t tell, just so he doesn’t have the satisfaction.
Jack is still staring at me, a small smile beginning to form on his face. “Meagan,” he says, tapping his bottom lip with his index finger. “I’m just thinking, and… um… Did they change her appearance, by any chance? Things like hair and eye color, maybe getting rid of some scars?”
I nod and smile. “Yes they did. Actually, a long time ago, she told me that she ran into you. Do you remember that?” As his smile extends to the sides of his face, he slowly nods his head.
“I do remember that. I wondered how she knew my name. But it makes sense now.” He stares off to a spot behind me, and I turn to Carl and the girl next to him.
“I’ll take the pillow, and then I need to ask you to please leave the room. We have some things to discuss.” I grab the pillow and push him out of the room. I shut the door and rush into the arms of my brother and best friend, dropping the pillow in the process.
“Stand back and let me look at you,” says Macy. I pull back the lab coat so that it’s easier for them to see my extended stomach. They both look me over, noticing all the changes, trying to identify something that’s the same.
“So, this Mathew fellow. What does he think about becoming a father?” asks Jack.
“Actually, it’s not Mathew’s baby.” The impact of their disapproval almost knocks me down. Of course, they don’t know what really happened. According to the information that they’ve been given, I’ve been sleeping around. “It’s Collin’s baby,” I quickly explain. “I agreed to follow along with their experiment as long as I was allowed to see Collin one last time. We didn’t see each other for very long, but it was long enough for this to happen.” I stare at my belly so that they don’t see me blush. “They don’t know that it’s Collin’s baby. Mathew knows, and you guys know. And there’s a girl who’s also pregnant, and she knows. But that’s it.”
I look at the ground, thinking about the last time I saw Collin, and he appears beside me. “I’m always with you,” he says. “You don’t always know it, but I am. I’m always thinking about you and our baby. It kills me to know that I’ll never see you again.” He doesn’t say anything else, but watches as I say my good-byes to Macy and Jack. I promise them that I’ll come back as soon as I can. But we all know that that time won’t ever come.
Collin is with me as I walk through the halls. It’s a path that I’ve taken hundreds of times before, but it’s different this time. I’m different, and all these people are different. Their lives and relationships have been altered and changed in too many ways to count. All because of me.
As I walk, Collin tried to reassure me that it’s not my fault. “Their lives would have changed anyway,” he claims. “You can’t blame yourself for this. You were doing what was best for you.”
That’s the thing that bugs me,

I think. I left for selfish reasons so I wouldn’t be put through torture. But in doing that, I put the ones that I love through torture. I escaped to prove Carl wrong. But he was right. So now what?

“You didn’t know what you know now,” says Collin as we step into the elevator. I take the lab coat off and put it in a pile with the clipboard on the floor. If I did know everything that I know now, would I have left?

Chapter 4

I get back to my room and Mathew is sitting on the bed, a worried expression plastered to his face. “Where were you? What took you so long? The scientist came in to tell me that you would be up in a few minutes. It’s been almost an hour!” he yells.
“I… I’m sorry-y,” I stutter. “I didn’t realize that-“
“That what? That someone besides Collin loves you and cares for you? Because if that’s it, then you’re sadly mistaken. A lot of people care for you, and we don’t want anything to happen to you.” I stand there, shocked. I didn’t know that I had meant that much to him.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “Once again, I was being selfish.”
“You’re not selfish,” Mathew and Collin tell me, both at the same time. “You just didn’t know,” continues Mathew, but I know that Collin wants to say it. “I’m sorry that I yelled. I was just extremely worried. You weren’t here, and I had no idea where you were, and it worried me.” He wraps his arms around my shoulders, and I relax my muscles.
“I won’t do it again,” I promise. I break away from him and go to the bed. He grabs a pillow and a blanket off the bed and starts setting up his spot on the floor just like he does every night.
Before I can think about it, I open