The Experiment by Cassidy Shay (i can read with my eyes shut .txt) 📖

the top. Half of the crew has started on the basketball courts and the grass and gardens. The tables and playground equipment will come soon.
Six days later, I still haven’t had my babies. They’ve finished the wall and only have to put In a door to get to the yard. Soon, we will all be free.
I’m talking to Marc about the yard when I feel something on my leg. “Marc,” I say, “I need you to call Dr. Pender. Go find her.” I start to waddle down the hall toward her office, but Marc picks me up and carries me. Dr. Pender is in her office, and when she sees me, she gets right to work.
She sends Marc to get Mathew and Belle, and helps me into the hospital gown. I lay on the table and hooks me up to all the machines. Neither of us say a word.
The contractions start coming fast, and I moan because of the pain. Mathew stands with Belle in the corner.
I’m in labor for three hours, and then Dr. Pender tells me that it’s time.
In a few minutes, we hear the crying of a baby. But it’s the weak cry of someone who’s sick. When Dr. Pender hands the baby to the nurse, I see the pale grey shade of his skin, and it makes me shudder.
But I still have one more baby to deliver. This time, though, there is no crying. As Dr. Pender hands this one to the nurse, she sighs.
“Meagan,” she says, coming over to the side of the bed. “You gave birth to a little boy and a little girl. The little boy is sick, but we’ll do everything that we can to make him better.” She looks straight into my eyes and grabs my hand. “The little girl was still-born.”
I close my eyes to hold back to tears, but they come anyway. “Would you like to hold her?” I nod, and the nurse hands me a small pink bundle.
Her eyes are closed, and she would just look like she were sleeping if it weren’t for her color. She is grey, with no hint of the healthy pink color that she is supposed to have.
Mathew comes over and I hand him the dead body. He has tears in his eyes as he cradles the small form.
Then, Dr. Pender hands me the boy. His blue eyes are open, but they look tired. He is grey, but not quite as grey as his sister. He still has a little bit of pink to his skin tone, but it’s fading fast.
“He looks like you,” I tell Mathew. “What do you want to name him?”
“Jason,” he says without hesitation. “And this one is Morgan.” He sounds so sure of himself, which is kind of a surprise to me. I had assumed that he wouldn’t want anything to do with the twins, because they’re my kids. I’d forgotten that they were his too.
I wave Belle over from her spot in the corner. “Come see your new brother and sister.”
We all surround each other, acting like we’re a real family again. But I know it won’t last long. As the minutes pass, I feel the life slowly leave my son. His eyes start to close, and then he stops breathing. For a minute, he is completely relaxed, and then he slowly starts to stiffen.
The tears are pouring out of my eyes now. My nose is running and I can barely see anything. I hold him closer to me, trying to transfer some of my life into his body. But I know that it won’t work.
Mathew has tears running down his face, too, but Belle is very calm about it. She holds my hand and looks at her brother and sister.
“It’s okay, Mommy. God didn’t want them to live here. He wanted them to see their mommy and daddy, and then come and live with him.” As usual, Belle’s simple view of things comforts and amazes me.
But as I cry and mourn the loss of two more of my children, I realize that maybe, she’s right. Maybe I already have all the family that I need.
Imprint

Text: Cassie Hoene
Publication Date: 12-26-2011

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
This is dedicated to my mom, who always had so many difficulties with her pregnancies. Thanks for putting up with all the doctors and hospitals, even when in the end, it didn't do any good. Love you, Mom.