I Am Happy... by Evil Angel97 (heaven official's blessing novel english .TXT) 📖

keeps me safe from all the people who want to hurt me. And it keeps me safe from having people grab pieces of my hair and pull it..."

He thought about this for a minute before nodding his head. "Okay. That makes sense. It's a defense mechanism. Self preservation instincts kicking in. I get that." After a few more minutes of silence I heard the stairs squeak. I looked up to see Isaac standing on the stairs with some blankets in his hands. 

"I didn't know if you wanted to sleep down here or bunk with me... I talked to my parents and they said it's fine if you stay. You can stay as long as you feel you need to. My dad thought there was something that needed to be done tomorrow. I'm not going to say anyting, because I don't know how you'll respond. Just know that you have a place here in our family now. No matter what."

I stood slowly and heard Jordan standing up off the floor. He still hadn't put his shirt back on. "I'll bunk with you I guess. I don't really like being in living rooms... By myself anyways." I slowly started walking until I felt something grab my arm. I went to swing but before I could connect it grabbed my other arm. I calmed down when I saw Jordan had hold of both of my wrists. I still wanted out of his grip though.

"I'm starting this today. You have six cuts. That means six minutes. But, since it's your first time, I'll half it. Okay?" I tensed up as he wrapped his arms around me. After a minute and nothing happened I relaxed into his embrace. He was warm. And it felt good to be pressed up against him. Safe. Secure.

When he let me go he smiled at me and said, "There. That wasn't so bad was it?" I was shaking slightly and knew I was getting ready to have an attack. I shook my head and immediatly reached into my back pocket. Pulling the baggy out I heard Jordan gasp.

"Is that what I think it is?" I looked up at him as I popped two of the pills into my mouth. "What? They're anxiety medications..." He shook his head and said, "That's what the doctors put me on. Is that- Is that why you were shaking upstairs earlier?" I nodded my head as a look of knowing came over his face.

"Oh. Okay then. Well, I'll let you guys get up to bed. I'll be down here if you need anything." I heard Isaac come up behind me. I tensed up as he grabbed my hand again. I let myself be led up the stairs. When we got to the landing he looked at me and said, "He told you that you needed to stop cutting. Didn't he?" I nodded my head. He breathed in slightly and said, "What did you say?" 

I looked up at him and grinned slightly. "I asked him why not cut?" He remained speechless as I walked past him to his room. 

Morning Glories

 I woke up and rolled over. I almost screamed. I didn't recognize the room I was in or the arm that was draped protectively around me or the arm that my head was using as a pillow. It took me a minute for everything to come back to me. Tyler, Mark, my family. How I got brought over here after Tyler tried to kill me.

Being careful not to wake Isaac I woke slowly sat up. Instead of getting out of the bed I suddenly found myself pinned down. I did my best not to scream and instead rolled over to see Isaac's eyes watching me. 

"You're a very heavy sleeper. You didn't wake up at all last night. Not even when went through your bag and found this..." He held up a blade that I had concealed in the bottom of my bag. Damn it.

"Why did you-" I was abruptly cut off when the door opened. I heard footsteps as our visitor walked across the floor and opened the curtains. This was not something that ever happened to me. 

"Oh God damnit! Fuck!" I threw the blanket over my head. Giving my self a minute to calm down I slowly peeked my head out to see the sun shining right into the window. "Please, do not ever do that again. I don't do sunlight well. But especially not at twelve in the afternoon on a Saturday..." I looked apologetically at the offender. Giving my eyes a second to adjust I saw Jordan watching me. He glanced at Isaac. Was that jealousy I saw?

"Mom told me that I had to get you two up. Figured this would be the best way to do it. Sorry." He stalked out of the room slamming the door. I flinched and turned back to Isaac. I was going to figure out why he went through my stuff. Now.

"Now, as I was saying. Why did you go through my stuff?" I wasn't so much angry as more a feeling of violation was slowly seeping into me. Nobody ever went through my stuff. Not even the police when they came to the school. Everybody left me alone...

"I wanted to see if you had any clothes for today. You know, most people don't walk around with three full sets of clothing and a hundred dollars in their back pack... Were you planning something? Or was that just a back up plan? If something else didn't work?" I felt him brush his finger gently over my wrist. I snatched it away and looked at the wall behind him while I spoke. "I was planning on it... One day I was just going to tell my parents I had to stay after school. And I was going to walk as far as I could. Then I was going to hitch-hike. But, I never got around to it. But you don't know how handy it is to have all that extra stuff when you are constantly being turned into a human target..." 

I let the sentence drift off as I continued to stare at the wall. I heard him breathe in like he was about to say something. When I didn't hear anything I looked at him. He was watching the door. I heard it open and heard footsteps again. "Do you guys want anything for lunch?" It was Jordan again. His voice sounded slightly strained. I turned to look at him and noticed he wasn't making eye contact with Isaac. Nor was he looking at me. He was just staring at the carpet.

"I'll eat. Just give me a minute to get dressed..." I quickly disentagled myself from Isaac and his bed and stood up. Walking to get my bag I realized my pills were missing. "Where are my pills?" I looked at Isaac and saw him reach up to the shelf above his bed. He tossed them to me and I saw at least half of them were gone. 

"Left some of them up there for safe keeping. Just in case. You can take a shower. Down the hall, second door to your right." I grabbed my clothes and made a hasty retreat. I could hear low voices as I walked down the hall and then suddenly, "That doesn't mean a fucking thing and you know it! You know me!" It was Isaac. I could only imagine what they were talking about...

I turned into the room that I assumed was the bathroom. It was thank God. Turning on the shower I quickly got undressed. Five minutes. That's the amount of time I was given at home. No more. Any more and I'd be grounded for a week. Quickly rinsing myself off I jumped out and towled off. I could hear somebody coming down the hall way. I was just securing the towel around me when Shayla suddenly walked in. 

"Hey, sorry. I didn't realize you were in here." I just shook my head. 

"No. It's fine. I just actually got out." She looked at me and gave a slight nod. "The shower wasn't even running for five minutes. You can get back in. I didn't know you were in here otherwise I would have knocked first."

"No. Five minutes was all. That's all I get at my house anyways. It's just kind of drilled into me." I pulled on some under wear and my jeans. I turned away as I put on my bra and shirt. Short sleeves. Damn it all to Hell. I crossed my arms across my chest and turned back to her.

"You don't have to hide your arms. I know. Jordan told me everything last night after he got done talking to you. This is a safe place, Casey. You don't have to hide. You can be yourself." I let this sink in. The words don't, hide, and yourself all in this same speech. The only one that really stuck out, though, was safe place. No place was a safe place. Not even my head.

"No. It's fine. I'll be going in a little bit. So, umm... Yeah. I've got to go make sure all my stuff is together." I went to walk past her but she caught my arm gently. Resisting the urge to immediatly pull away from her, I let her sit me down on the floor. Reaching behind her, she locked the door and then sat down.

"Casey, do you want to go home? Right now? Right at this very minute? Do you ever want to go home?" I was looking at the floor as she said this. No. No, I didn't. But I wasn't going to become a nuisance.

I didn't know I had said these things outloud, but I must have because she suddenly said, "You are never, under any circumstances, going to become a nuisance.

"Now, I'm going to set up the spare room so that you have a place to stay when ever you need it. I'm going to give Isaac my credit card and he's going to take you to get stuff for that room. That's your room now." I let this sink in. This couldn't be happening. People were being nice. No. This didn't happen. Not to me. Not ever to me. Why were they being nice to me?

"Why- Why are you being so nice to me?" I let these words slip out shakily and I heard her sigh. "Becasue, Casey, that's what people do. Good people. We are good people. You don't have to worry about anything. Now, I want you to get up, go into Isaac's room and put all your stuff in that spare room. I'm going to downstairs and finish lunch. Okay?" I nodded and stood up with her. She wrapped me up in a quick embrace then walked out of the room.

Giving my self a minute to calm down and gather my things I thought about waht I had just been told. There were good people in the world. Good people? Yeah, that was so going to happen. Good people didn't exist for me. They did for other people. But never, not once, had they ever existed for me. 

I walked out of the bathroom and down to Isaac's room. I could hear mumbling coming from inside