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Falling Apart, Together


Dedicated to one of my favorite vocalists of all time, Ville Valo.



A poet, a master of the mind,

you always find a way...

to sneak, to seduce your way inside,

to walk along my veins, all the way to my heart,

every melody and verse I listen to,

I begin to shed tears,

alone in the dark.

"Let's fall apart together" you sing, you say.

If only we could find a way,

my blood remains to be your ink,

my memories, my pain to be your muse,

completely unaware.

You feel so near, but yet you're so far,

it's pure euphoria

when your voice whispers in my ears.

You kill my heart,

as we dance together in the castle of Lazarus and Frankenstein,

with sparks igniting all around.

I feel as if I could drown.

My savior, my hero, my love.

sweet and melancholy lyrics keep me sane,

keep me from falling apart at the seams.

Take me by the hand,

for you're the only one who understands.

I give you my heart,

as well fall apart, together.

Nothing Gold Ever Stays


A poem dedicated to my favorite book and to show how much its impacted my life. Thank you S.E. Hinton.

Nothing gold ever stays,

like a beautiful rose, it wilts, it dies

or fades away

The smell of whiskey and cigarettes linger here,

and I cry one thousand tears

over them.

They fly off the pages of paper and ink,

and find a place in my mind,

as if they could cure the loneliness I hide.

Dysfunctional to the seams,

they held themselves together,

oh how much I envy, these characters of fiction.

Nothing gold ever stays,

or so they say,

a smile is all I wear,

when I read the words on the page,

and watch them on the silver screen,

But when it's over...

I just want to scream.

Nothing gold ever stays,

for those who waste their life away,

such as I,

who spends so much time crying,

musing and bleeding.

Nothing gold ever stays.

It eventually dies or fades away.

How much I wish I could live within those paper walls,

secured with a switchblade,

and a love that burns like a golden flame.

"Stay Gold..."

The Song Of The Fallen


*In memory of Dimebag Darrell Abbott and James "The Rev" Sullivan*

Two pairs of crystal blue eyes call out to me,

from beyond the veil,

as I cry endlessly, silently,

Both were taken so young,

one from the poisoned wine,

and the other from the vengeful spirit of a loaded gun.

(Many others I've loved have died.)

(Many others I've loved have died.)

The angels sing a song for the fallen,

The angels cry a river, an ocean for the dead and empty,

but they don't sing nor cry for me,

they leave me only to bleed,

to scream and to mourn ('tis why I was born)

Why fight these demons?

When you can't hear the song of the fallen.

I raise my head towards the fallen,

the weak and the dead,

and I taste the day beneath the weeping moon,

the sleeping sun,

oh, how much I miss you, miss them.

The angels sing a song for the fallen,

The angels cry a river, an ocean for the dead and empty,

but they don't sing nor cry for me,

they leave me only to bleed,

to scream and to mourn ('tis why I was born)

Why fight these demons?

When you can't hear the song of the fallen.

I bury my fears and demons in an empty coffin,

never let them out again,

but I still have the scars on my skin,

and I look towards the heavens,

in hopes of finding them there,

hidden behind the stars,

those who unknowingly,

healed my shattered heart.

The angels sing a song for the fallen,

The angels cry a river, an ocean for the dead and empty,

but they don't sing nor cry for me,

they leave me only to bleed,

to scream and to mourn ('tis why I was born)

Why fight these demons?

When you can't hear the song of the fallen.

The angels start to cry,

the angels start to mourn,

and I have been re-born.

and that's when I know I have been saved.

The Raven


The pendulum above my head,

drives my heart to fear and dread,

the omen of Death surrounds me here,

burying me in an empty coffin of fears.

Beneath the frail wings of the Raven,

lays all of our unrepentant sins,

the eyes of Death, seducing until we submit.

He lurks in the dark and waits in the light,

the raven appears with bloody strife,

the raven appears to take my life.

Long intervals of haunting sanity haunts me still,

the bitterness of it all,

just like the taste of a pill.

The raven hears my screams,

The raven watches me bleed.

Beneath the frail wings of the Raven,

lays all of our unrepentant sins,

the eyes of Death, seducing until we submit.

He lurks in the dark and waits in the light,

the raven appears with bloody strife,

the raven appears to take my life.

He is what we fear most,

we fear his presence,

scared he'll take our last dying breath...

Beneath the frail wings of the Raven,

lays all of our unrepentant sins,

the eyes of Death, seducing until we submit.

He lurks in the dark and waits in the light,

the raven appears with bloody strife,

the raven appears to take my life.

Manic


Anxiety runs deep through my veins,

Demons crawl, crawl deep beneath my skin,

My walls keep crumbling,

And I keep succumbing,

To the evil that resides inside my head

(Inside my heart!)

And it tears me apart!

These monsters in the dark!

Insanity is beauty, beauty is insanity

Words spoken by the hypocritical youth,

The words I heard from a trip long overdue.

Blood caressing my lips,

Scars dancing across my hips.

Drowning in an ocean of despair and suicidal tendencies,

I came for someone to rescue me,

But only was I left to bleed.

But only was I left to bleed.

I'm nothing more than a self-hating manic

With a head full of doubt,

And a heart full of panic.

I'm nothing more than a victim

A victim of my demons,

And this goddamn system,

And of my own sins,

I'll never be what you wanted me to be,

I'm just a simple manic who bleeds.

And it tears me apart,

These monsters in the dark.

I only live by the flash of the blade,

This razor o' mine is the only way (the only way)

From which I can escape,

Escape from the Hell, the war that rages inside my mind

I wish to leave,

Leave this world

(The world doesn't need a soul like me!)

Suicide is my answer,

Suicide is my call,

Let me go! (Oh, you sweet demon)

Let me go tonight; let me fucking burn!

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