Lucky Stiff by Craig Rice (ebook pdf reader for pc TXT) 📖

“There are some things some people know more about than some other people,” Jake said. “And one of the some things I know some more about than some people I could name is publicity.”

“You mean, some publicity,” Helene said scornfully, swinging the convertible into Clark Street.

“No,” Malone told her, “he means, you can fool all of the people all of the time, and you can fool all of the people all of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time.”

“Jake knows what he means,” Helene said. “Malone, you’re drunk.”

“I’m not,” the little lawyer said indignantly, “but it’s not a bad idea. Anna Marie—”

“Later,” Anna Marie said. “Right now I’ve got to talk to my press agent.”

“Right now,” Jake said, “you’ve got to talk to von Flanagan. Where’s the nearest telephone booth?”

Helene answered by slamming on the brakes and skidding the convertible to a stop in front of a corner drugstore. “There you are, smart guy. Now, does Anna Marie wear her rain cape, or does she change with me?”

“Neither,” Jake said. “That’s what I mean by her needing a press agent. Right now, Anna Marie could stroll in there walking on her hands, with a rose in her teeth, and nobody would notice her.”

Anna Marie stepped out of the car, waved her eyelashes at Jake, and said, “Mr. Justus, you underestimate me.”

“My apologies,” Jake said. “I meant, nobody would recognize you. And my friends call me Jake. Let’s go make that phone call.”

It was a dinky little drugstore, four stools in front of the discolored marble soda fountain, flyspecked displays of bath salts, antiseptics, toothpastes; a few shelves of cheap liquors, a green-curtained doorway leading to the prescription department, and one phone booth. Nobody noticed Anna Marie. Jake bought a handful of phone slugs for her and a lemon coke for himself. From where he stood he could hear every word from the phone booth.

“Captain von Flanagan, please.” Pause. “But it’s very important. I must reach him right away. About a murder.” Pause. “This is Anna Marie St. Clair calling.” Long pause. “From a phone booth.” Another long pause. “Whose murder? Mine, of course.” Very long pause. “His home phone number? Thank you.”

Jake sipped his lemon coke and grinned, imagining the confusion at the other end of the line.

Anna Marie had a little trouble after that. Captain von Flanagan wasn’t at home, he was at an anniversary party. He’d left the anniversary party with one of his in-laws. He wasn’t at the in-law’s house, he’d gone to a night club in Cicero. No, he was at a friend’s apartment in Rogers Park, and there she got him on the phone.

“Captain von Flanagan?” Anna Marie’s voice was smooth, mellow, and soft. “This is Anna Marie St. Clair. Jesse Conway has been murdered, in my apartment. I thought I’d better call you direct.”

Jake shoved away the lemon coke and wished with all his heart that he could hear what von Flanagan was saying.

“But this is Anna Marie St. Clair. Don’t you recognize my voice?”

That ought to get him, Jake reflected. Anna Marie did have a voice that no one could forget.

“It’s Jesse Conway. He telephoned the police just before he was killed and said he was being murdered. How do I know? He told me, just now. Captain, I think you’d better get right over there. Good-by—” The last word trailed off into an ethereal whisper.

Out in the car Jake said, “It’s a good thing von Flanagan’s psychology-conscious these days. He’ll be able to practice it on himself.”

“How about tipping off the newspapers?” Helene asked, starting the car.

“Not yet. I know what I m doing. Just because you married a press agent doesn’t mean you are one.”

“Every woman is a born press agent,” Helene said. “But you’re the boss. Where to?”

“The Casino,” Jake said happily, “and leave everything to me. Anna Marie, can you still sing that song—‘My Lonely Little Room’?”

“I could sing it in my sleep, she assured him.

The ensuing scene at the Casino was a memorable one. Jake, Helene, and Malone were at their usual table. The lights were dimmed for Milly Dale’s first number. She slipped out from between the curtains, smiling at the audience.

Then there was a scream, Helene’s scream, above the applause. The orchestra automatically went on playing, but another voice took up the song.

When I’m sitting in the gloom —

Of my lonely little room —

Milly Dale looked in the direction of the voice, then fainted. The audience didn’t notice her. They were staring at the doorway to the left of the stage.

The instruments of the orchestra stopped one by one. The lovely voice began to grow softer, dying away into the faintest shadow of a sound. Then it was gone completely, and so, in the same instant, was the vision.

The Casino was deathly still for a minute. Jake jumped up from his chair, raced to the doorway and on into the hall that ran along backstage. Then everybody in the room began to talk at once, but nobody got up to leave. The headwaiter had the presence of mind to carry Milly Dale off the stage, but he took her to a couch in the ladies’ lounge instead of her dressing room.

A moment later Jake reappeared. He was mopping his brow and he looked pale. There was another sudden hush.

Jake said loudly, “I assure you, there’s no one—nothing— backstage. It must have been an optical illusion. Something about the lights.” He paused. “I regret that Miss Dale will not be able to finish her appearance tonight. The floor show, however, will continue as scheduled.”

The orchestra began to play, a little shakily at first. The chorus came out on the stage. Its members didn’t dance particularly well tonight—or any night, for that matter—but no one paid much attention to them, anyway. The buzz of conversation all but drowned out the music. A few minutes later Jake, Helene, and Malone slipped out through the side door. Anna Marie was waiting for them in the car.

“You even convinced me,” Malone told her. “And you looked beautiful.”

“Tomorrow night,” Jake said, “the Casino will be jammed.”

Helene sniffed. “I thought that press-agenting job wasn’t purely altruistic. What do we haunt now?”

“Home,” Jake said. “Fun is fun, but there’s no point in overdoing it. Besides, there’s a lot of things that need to be talked over.”

“And,” Malone said, “I need a drink.”

They took Anna Marie up the back elevator. The telephone was ringing when they reached the door. Jake answered it.

“Sorry,” he said after a moment of listening, “no statement.” Another moment, and, “Yes, Harry, I know we’re pals. But there’s no statement I can make. I don’t even know what I saw. Besides, I don’t believe in ghosts myself.”

As he hung up the receiver he said contentedly, “That was the Examiner.” The phone promptly rang again, and as he reached for it he said, “That will be the Trib.” It was.

All the papers had called by the time Helene came out from the kitchenette with a tray of dishes and a golden brown omelet that sent out an aroma of bacon, onion, tomato, and green pepper. Malone began mixing drinks.

“Everything is going fine,” Helene said. “As long as nobody gives the show away. We won’t, and Jesse Conway can’t. But—”

The telephone rang again.

Jake said into it, “Hello, von Flanagan, what are you doing up at this hour of the night? Malone?”

The little lawyer shook his head furiously.

“Sorry,” Jake said. “I don’t know where you could find him. He left the Casino with us, but—he wasn’t feeling very well.”

The sound of von Flanagan’s voice could he heard all over the room, a profane roar. Jake said, “I’ll be damned!” and “You don’t tell me!” and, “I’ll try to locate him for you!

“Well, it’s pretty late—suppose we drop in tomorrow morning?” and finally, “Yeah, that’s right. Just psychology.” He hung up.

“I take it,” Helene said, serving the omelet, “that von Flanagan has found the late Jesse Conway.” She glanced up, saw Jake’s face, and said, “What?”

“Von