I Say No by Wilkie Collins (reader novel txt) đ
- Author: Wilkie Collins
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âShe might have told me she was tired,â Emily said to herself quietly. âWell! the best thing I can do is to put out the light and follow her example.â
As she took up the extinguisher, the bedroom door was suddenly opened from the outer side. A tall woman, robed in a black dressing-gown, stood on the threshold, looking at Emily.
CHAPTER III.
THE LATE MR. BROWN.
The womanâs lean, long-fingered hand pointed to the candle.
âDonât put it out.â Saying those words, she looked round the room, and satisfied herself that the other girls were asleep.
Emily laid down the extinguisher. âYou mean to report us, of course,â she said. âI am the only one awake, Miss Jethro; lay the blame on me.â
âI have no intention of reporting you. But I have something to say.â
She paused, and pushed her thick black hair (already streaked with gray) back from her temples. Her eyes, large and dark and dim, rested on Emily with a sorrowful interest. âWhen your young friends wake tomorrow morning,â she went on, âyou can tell them that the new teacher, whom nobody likes, has left the school.â
For once, even quick-witted Emily was bewildered. âGoing away,â she said, âwhen you have only been here since Easter!â
Miss Jethro advanced, not noticing Emilyâs expression of surprise. âI am not very strong at the best of times,â she continued, âmay I sit down on your bed?â Remarkable on other occasions for her cold composure, her voice trembled as she made that requestâa strange request surely, when there were chairs at her disposal.
Emily made room for her with the dazed look of a girl in a dream. âI beg your pardon, Miss Jethro, one of the things I canât endure is being puzzled. If you donât mean to report us, why did you come in and catch me with the light?â
Miss Jethroâs explanation was far from relieving the perplexity which her conduct had caused.
âI have been mean enough,â she answered, âto listen at the door, and I heard you talking of your father. I want to hear more about him. That is why I came in.â
âYou knew my father!â Emily exclaimed.
âI believe I knew him. But his name is so commonâthere are so many thousands of âJames Brownsâ in Englandâthat I am in fear of making a mistake. I heard you say that he died nearly four years since. Can you mention any particulars which might help to enlighten me? If you think I am taking a libertyââ
Emily stopped her. âI would help you if I could,â she said. âBut I was in poor health at the time; and I was staying with friends far away in Scotland, to try change of air. The news of my fatherâs death brought on a relapse. Weeks passed before I was strong enough to travelâweeks and weeks before I saw his grave! I can only tell you what I know from my aunt. He died of heart-complaint.â
Miss Jethro started.
Emily looked at her for the first time, with eyes that betrayed a feeling of distrust. âWhat have I said to startle you?â she asked.
âNothing! I am nervous in stormy weatherâdonât notice me.â She went on abruptly with her inquiries. âWill you tell me the date of your fatherâs death?â
âThe date was the thirtieth of September, nearly four years since.â
She waited, after that reply.
Miss Jethro was silent.
âAnd this,â Emily continued, âis the thirtieth of June, eighteen hundred and eighty-one. You can now judge for yourself. Did you know my father?â
Miss Jethro answered mechanically, using the same words.
âI did know your father.â
Emilyâs feeling of distrust was not set at rest. âI never heard him speak of you,â she said.
In her younger days the teacher must have been a handsome woman. Her grandly-formed features still suggested the idea of imperial beautyâperhaps Jewish in its origin. When Emily said, âI never heard him speak of you,â the color flew into her pallid cheeks: her dim eyes became alive again with a momentary light. She left her seat on the bed, and, turning away, mastered the emotion that shook her.
âHow hot the night is!â she said: and sighed, and resumed the subject with a steady countenance. âI am not surprised that your father never mentioned meâto you.â She spoke quietly, but her face was paler than ever. She sat down again on the bed. âIs there anything I can do for you,â she asked, âbefore I go away? Oh, I only mean some trifling service that would lay you under no obligation, and would not oblige you to keep up your acquaintance with me.â
Her eyesâthe dim black eyes that must once have been irresistibly beautifulâlooked at Emily so sadly that the generous girl reproached herself for having doubted her fatherâs friend. âAre you thinking of him,â she said gently, âwhen you ask if you can be of service to me?â
Miss Jethro made no direct reply. âYou were fond of your father?â she added, in a whisper. âYou told your schoolfellow that your heart still aches when you speak of him.â
âI only told her the truth,â Emily answered simply.
Miss Jethro shudderedâon that hot night!âshuddered as if a chill had struck her.
Emily held out her hand; the kind feeling that had been roused in her glittered prettily in her eyes. âI am afraid I have not done you justice,â she said. âWill you forgive me and shake hands?â
Miss Jethro rose, and drew back. âLook at the light!â she exclaimed.
The candle was all burned out. Emily still offered her handâand still Miss Jethro refused to see it.
âThere is just light enough left,â she said, âto show me my way to the door. Good-nightâand good-by.â
Emily caught at her dress, and stopped her. âWhy wonât you shake hands with me?â she asked.
The wick of the candle fell over in the socket, and left them in the dark. Emily resolutely held the teacherâs dress. With or without light, she was still bent on making Miss Jethro explain herself.
They had throughout spoken in guarded tones, fearing to disturb the sleeping girls. The sudden darkness had its inevitable effect. Their voices sank to whispers now. âMy fatherâs friend,â Emily pleaded, âis surely my friend?â
âDrop the subject.â
âWhy?â
âYou can never be my friend.â
âWhy not?â
âLet me go!â
Emilyâs sense of self-respect forbade her to persist any longer. âI beg your pardon for having kept you here against your will,â she saidâand dropped her hold on the dress.
Miss Jethro instantly yielded on her side. âI am sorry to have been obstinate,â she answered. âIf you do despise me, it is after all no more than I have deserved.â Her hot breath beat on Emilyâs face: the unhappy woman must have bent over the bed as she made her confession. âI am not a fit person for you to associate with.â
âI donât believe it!â
Miss Jethro sighed bitterly. âYoung and warm heartedâI was once like you!â She controlled that outburst of despair. Her next words were spoken in steadier tones. âYou will have itâyou shall have it!â she said. âSome one (in this house or out of it; I donât know which) has betrayed me to the mistress of the school. A wretch in my situation suspects everybody, and worse still, does it without reason or excuse. I heard you girls talking when you ought to have been asleep. You all dislike me. How did I know it mightnât be one of you? Absurd, to a person with a well-balanced mind! I went halfway up the stairs, and felt ashamed of myself, and went back to my room. If I could only have got some rest! Ah, well, it was not to be done. My own vile suspicions kept me awake; I left my bed again. You know what I heard on the other side of that door, and why I was interested in hearing it. Your father never told me he had a daughter. âMiss Brown,â at this school, was any âMiss Brown,â to me. I had no idea of who you really were until tonight. Iâm wandering. What does all this matter to you? Miss Ladd has been merciful; she lets me go without exposing me. You can guess what has happened. No? Not even yet? Is it innocence or kindness that makes you so slow to understand? My dear, I have obtained admission to this respectable house by means of false references, and I have been discovered. Now you know why you must not be the friend of such a woman as I am! Once more, good-nightâand good-by.â
Emily shrank from that miserable farewell.
âBid me good-night,â she said, âbut donât bid me good-by. Let me see you again.â
âNever!â
The sound of the softly-closed door was just audible in the darkness. She had spokenâshe had goneânever to be seen by Emily again.
Miserable, interesting, unfathomable creatureâthe problem that night of Emilyâs waking thoughts: the phantom of her dreams. âBad? or good?â she asked herself. âFalse; for she listened at the door. True; for she told me the tale of her own disgrace. A friend of my father; and she never knew that he had a daughter. Refined, accomplished, lady-like; and she stoops to use a false reference. Who is to reconcile such contradictions as these?â
Dawn looked in at the windowâdawn of the memorable day which was, for Emily, the beginning of a new life. The years were before her; and the years in their course reveal baffling mysteries of life and death.
CHAPTER IV.
MISS LADDâS DRAWING-MASTER.
Francine was awakened the next morning by one of the housemaids, bringing up her breakfast on a tray. Astonished at this concession to laziness, i n an institution devoted to the practice of all virtues, she looked round. The bedroom was deserted.
âThe other young ladies are as busy as bees, miss,â the housemaid explained. âThey were up and dressed two hours ago: and the breakfast has been cleared away long since. Itâs Miss Emilyâs fault. She wouldnât allow them to wake you; she said you could be of no possible use downstairs, and you had better be treated like a visitor. Miss Cecilia was so distressed at your missing your breakfast that she spoke to the housekeeper, and I was sent up to you. Please to excuse it if the teaâs cold. This is Grand Day, and we are all topsy-turvy in consequence.â
Inquiring what âGrand Dayâ meant, and why it produced this extraordinary result in a ladiesâ school, Francine discovered that the first day of the vacation was devoted to the distribution of prizes, in the presence of parents, guardians and friends. An Entertainment was added, comprising those merciless tests of human endurance called Recitations; light refreshments and musical performances being distributed at intervals, to encourage the exhausted audience. The local newspaper sent a reporter to describe the proceedings, and some of Miss Laddâs young ladies enjoyed the intoxicating luxury of seeing their names in print.
âIt begins at three oâclock,â the housemaid went on, âand, what with practicing and rehearsing, and ornamenting the schoolroom, thereâs a hubbub fit to make a personâs head spin. Besides which,â said the girl, lowering her voice, and approaching a little nearer to Francine, âwe have all been taken by surprise. The first thing in the morning Miss Jethro left us, without saying good-by to anybody.â
âWho is Miss Jethro?â
âThe new teacher, miss. We none of us liked her, and we all suspect thereâs something wrong. Miss Ladd and the clergyman had a long talk together yesterday (in private, you know), and they sent for Miss Jethroâwhich looks bad, doesnât it? Is there anything more I can do for you, miss? Itâs a beautiful day
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