Season of Sacrifice (Blood of Azure Book 1) Jonathan Michael (red novels .txt) 📖

“I’m being truthful. The Matron isn’t going to be pleased with this.” Her voice quivers. “I’ve always been what she refers to as her pillow doll—a true maiden to tease and entice the clientele into wanting and spending more. Until now, I always resisted, and if they wanted more, the Matron protected me. She refused anyone to have me the way you did. The way you made me feel… Now that I truly know what it feels like…” Her eyes begin to well. “It’s all over. It’s never going to be the same. It’ll never be the same…”

“Ash…” I feel more disgusted with myself than ever. I want to hug her, but I’m afraid. Is a hug appropriate for a pillow girl? I place a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“I’ve made a mistake,” she continues soberly. “I won’t be protected anymore, and I’ll be forced to pleasure men whenever and however they desire. I’ve seen bruises. Blood. Horror. The Matron protects us but only to a certain level of funding. Limitless coin frenzies the vilest desires. I was safe, I was protected, but now…” She leans into my shoulder. “What shall I do?”

I wipe the tears from her cheeks and stare into her eyes. Her grief appears to be genuine. “I…I don’t know, Ash. I’m new to this. I’ve never had to…”

Ash leans in and heedlessly weeps. I embrace her without hesitation.

“Ash, I can take you with me. I don’t know where that is, but I will see to it that you’re safe until we figure something out. It’ll be okay.”

“Following an acquaintance to an unknown location… No, my place is here. The Matron is like a mother to me. I think, maybe… Maybe she will understand. This won’t change anything, right?” she asks. “I’ll be able to control myself as I always have. I’ll make it work, but…thank you. Now, I believe I owe you something in return.”

Ash hadn’t heard rumors regarding Jaymes, but it wasn’t all for naught. She knew of a female that fit Astor’s description perfectly. And the last time I saw them, they were together. She insisted I stop by again sometime before sending me off with a farewell kiss.

The walk down the thoroughfare is a bit of a blur. I’m unable to focus on much other than Ash, her soft touch, and, well… I relive it over and over. I’m grateful, but it doesn’t feel right. It did feel right, but it didn’t feel right. Is that what it’s always like? I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have. It wasn’t right. I shouldn’t feel so…so…guilty. The elation and guilt spar in my mind until my destination is in sight.

The Shalesheep Inn was the last place Astor had been seen, according to Ash, no more than a few days ago. A paltry clue, at best. But I’m still grateful.

Distracted as I am at the moment, I see the faces of those around me, but not really. As I stare outward, visions of our intimacy reoccur in my mind. The pleasure… But the guilt I feel for taking advantage of her is too much for me to bask in it. Why was it so hard to make the right choice? Worse, it endangers my life being so distracted. I have to focus, or this will turn into a clumsy failure like most everything in my life.

I approach the counter and ask the keep if he knows the whereabouts of Astor Greyheart. The cantankerous individual informs me names are of no concern to him, so I follow up with a description. He remains no help.

Maybe, like Ash, he’s expecting something in return.

“My apologies. I don’t get out…uh…” I reach for a copper in my coin pouch and come up empty. The keep glares at me like an insect he wants to put between his foot and the floor. “My apologies, sir.” He gestures for me to move along, but I ignore him. I dig deeper into my pockets and nothing. I rummage through my satchel, but nothing.

“Ash!” I think out loud. “A satisfying hoodwink. That…ugh!”

“Not my problem,” the keep declares and pokes at me with a cane he produces from behind the counter. “Move along, lad. No coin, no business.”

Miss Ashiela was genuine—emotionally and physically. I’m sure of it. And sweet. She obviously leads a life of little opportunity, so I suppose desperation is at play. She wouldn’t have done it otherwise. Would she? Maybe she truly was afraid of Madam Cocoa so she took the ribs to start anew. I just wish I hadn’t been the opportunity.

“Move along, lad.” The keep prods me again.

I look up at him, my face turned upside down. Then I turn and trudge away. However, without a new destination, I don’t make it far.

I linger in the lounge, which is not more than ten paces from the innkeeper. The crowd coming and going is the perfect guise for my loitering. I remain seated in an armchair, watching passersby.

As I’m hunched forward, clicking my fingernails, and staring at my feet, a solid nudge on my shoulder alerts me. I nearly jump from my seat, ready to… I’m not quite sure. “Astor!” I rise to greet her. I squeeze her.

The truth of Ash’s words nullifies my empty coin pouch. I must return to thank her someday. Though, that probably isn’t the best idea. I’ll keep her in good memory, I think.

I pull back from Astor, to see a stunned expression on her face. A familiar face, even if only an acquaintance, is appreciated. She remains as beautiful as I remember. A charming smile appears and lightens my mood. I move in to embrace her again, regardless of how inappropriate it is. I notice a fragrance about her this time that is