Mister West R.J. Lewis (macos ebook reader txt) 📖

I waited around all evening for you to come home. You didn’t. I’m feeling really low, Aidan. I just want to know what’s going on. I’m sorry. I really am. I’m so sorry for hurting you. I love you. Feeling really, really fucking weak right now. Like this whole thing was a stupid fucking mistake. I’m so fucking stupid.

*

Ivy: I worry you’ve pulled away for good. I understand. I do.

*

Ivy: I guess you left the city for a bit?

*

Ivy: I love you, Aidan West.

Thirty-Two

Ivy

I am officially divorced.

The paperwork has been finalized. I’ve been sitting in Ana’s kitchen for the past hour, nursing my coffee, staring idly at the words on the paper, thinking of only one person and one person only.

Aidan.

I miss him. I press a hand to my chest, right over the pain.

I don’t know where he is, or how to reach him. I fear I’ll never be able to set things right again. He hates me. I’m certain of it. Why else would he have disappeared cold turkey the last six months?

I’ve been half-alive. That’s the only word to describe it. My body is alive, but my soul feels dead. I cry myself to sleep more nights than I like to admit, and I’ve lately been doing a good job hiding that from Ana.

I’ve been keeping busy. I’m in an online creative writing program. It’s based at the Algonquin College. I’m learning new ways to express my feelings by channeling through made-up characters and short stories. The professor says I’m extremely depressing. I just think he hasn’t been through a heartbreak with Aidan West.

His penthouse sits empty. His cars have been put away. I only know this because I harassed Gaston by blowing up his phone four hundred and ninety-four times. He tells me he doesn’t know where Aidan is. I don’t know if I believe him. These Quebecois are good at putting on a front.

I still haven’t looked him up, but I’ve told Ana to. Maybe there’s something new about him on those trashy tabloid rags online. She tells me there’s nothing.

How does someone just disappear off the face of the earth?

I wish I could do the same thing.

A tear falls over the paperwork, and I stare at it, wondering and hoping…

Hoping for him to return.

*

I’m in a deep sleep, but I’m vaguely aware there’s pounding on the front door. I don’t twitch. I spend too much time sleeping to care much about the real world. This is my safe little space. A space where I’m halfway conscious and halfway dreaming. Pain can’t reach me here.

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

I bring the covers over my head.

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Ana screeches. “How is anyone at my door?”

I don’t know.

Must be a neighbor.

I don’t even care.

I relax back into the mattress, hearing her storm around the unit when the knocks continue. Whoever is there is not letting up. Well, good. Enjoy Ana’s wrath, sucker.

She opens the door. “Yes,” she answers sweetly, like she wasn’t just being a psycho two seconds ago.

I hear a man’s voice respond.

“She’s sleeping. Yeah, I know it’s 11 in the morning. She’s dead to the world, dude. Nothing will get that zombie out of bed before 4 o’clock this afternoon –”

The man cuts her off.

The unit goes quiet.

Good. I can fall back asleep –

The bedroom door opens. “Ivy, you need to get up, babe.”

I huddle myself deeper in my covers.

“Ivy, you’re not a fucking caterpillar, get up.”

I don’t answer.

“There’s a guy named Steven at the door. He says he used to work with West.”

What?

It’s like I’ve been resurrected. My heart instantly begins pounding. My body stiffens from shock and my eyes fly open. I throw the covers off me and spring out of bed. Ana’s still standing by the door, concerned.

“Where is he?” I demand, voice scratchy.

“In the living room,” she answers, looking me over. “You might want to change. You’ve been wearing those pj’s all weekend and comb your hair. You look like Cousin It.”

She shuts the door. I don’t change. I know I should. I look like roadkill, and my hair is a bloody mess, but if someone Aidan knows is here, then something has happened, and I can’t wait a minute longer.

I race out of the room and to the living room. The unit is tiny. I practically take three steps and I’m there. Steven is already seated on the couch. Steven, I repeat the name to myself. This is the guy Aidan grew up with, the guy that used to blow up Aidan’s phone, and occasionally got really grouchy at him. He’s dressed like Aidan too in a sleek blue suit, blond hair cropped short, expensive watch. The guy oozes money and…something else.

His blue eyes pierce mine. I take one look into them and my body grows cold.

Something happened.

“Is he okay?” the words are flying out of my mouth. “Is he alive?”

He nods quickly. “Aidan is okay. He’s alive.”

My body sags in relief. I hurry to the armchair opposite him and collapse into it.

“Sorry,” he then says. “I understand me being here implied something very bad happened to him.”

I let out a slow breath.

“Which is true, also.”

I look up at him in surprise. “What?”

He brings his hands together, clearing his throat like he needs to think about what he’s about to say. “I, uh…I knew about you toward the end of your relationship with Aidan. I kept wondering why he was cashing out of S.P.P. Holdings. Pressed him about it a little too aggressively than I care to admit.”

I lean over, staring at him, trying to process. “He cashed out?”

His brows furrow. “He didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“He stepped down completely. Walked away with a hefty sum of money. Over a billion dollars –”

“What does that have to do with me?”

“He…” Steven pauses, staring at me strangely. “He did it to be with you.”

Time slows. I stare at him blankly, vaguely aware of Ana’s presence beside me.

I think back when I was