Home of His Own T. Chase (books to read for self improvement .txt) 📖

I don’t want to look back at my first time and be embarrassed by it.”

“Not girly at all, Juan. Pretty smart actually. People like to think differently, but having sex for the first time is important to guys as well. Though there are a bunch of macho men who’d like you to think otherwise.” He stood, grabbing a beer and another soda from the fridge. He handed the can to Juan. “You’ve never talked to anyone about this?”

“Only Tia Elena. I keep my club clothes here. She covers for me when we go dancing. She’s the one who suggested I talk to you. I was planning on calling you the day you showed up on our doorstep.” Juan popped the top and took a swig.

“I’ve never understood why she goes out of her way to keep in touch with me. I know Tio Manuel didn’t want anything to do with me.” He frowned.

“She’s never really explained. The only thing she’s said to me is that family sticks together, no matter what.” His nephew glanced at him. “She figured if you knew one person still cared about you, you wouldn’t get into too much trouble.”

It made sense in an odd sort of way. Tony vowed to buy Tia Elena a thank-you present. She needed to know how much he appreciated everything she’d done for him.

Tony rejoined Juan at the table. “So what else did you want to know?”

Juan flashed a bright grin. “Everything.”

Two hours later, Juan’s cell phone ran, interrupting their conversation.

“Hey Mom.” Juan rolled his eyes.

Tony smiled. Glancing at the clock on the wall, no wonder Maria was calling to find out where her son was.

“Yeah. I’m heading home in a minute.” A frown chased across Juan’s face.

He waited until Juan hung up and grabbed his backpack before he said, “You’re not in trouble, are you?”

Juan shot him a look. “Tio Luis and Tia Angelina are visiting and Mom wants me home.”

An emotion showed in his nephew’s dark eyes for a second. It was gone before Tony could identify it.

“Thanks for talking to me. It’s nice to have a guy closer to my age who knows what it’s like.” Juan gave Tony a quick hug.

“Anytime. You have my phone number. Call. I’ll help you all I can.”

He watched the young man walk away. He hoped he’d helped Juan figure things out, but he wasn’t sure where that would lead his nephew next.

* * * *

Randy rolled over, reaching across Les’ body to grab the phone. “Hello,” he mumbled.

“Hey handsome. When you going to dump Les and run away with me?” Tony’s voice slurred over the phone.

Randy pushed himself up so he could rest against the headboard. His free hand stroked over Les’ head. “Tony?”

“Who else would it be? Do a lot of guys ask you to run away with them?” Tony chuckled.

“Strangely enough, you’re the only one.”

Tony was drunk and Randy wasn’t happy about that.

“Always was a stubborn ass. Have you ever wondered if being gay’s hereditary?”

Tony was the only person Randy knew whose vocabulary actually got better when the man was drunk.

“No. I haven’t. I’m not a deep thinker like you and Les.”

Les stared up at him and he mouthed, ‘Tony’. His lover nodded and snuggled against his hip.

“Shit, man. I’m not deep. I’m as shallow as a mud puddle. Your life partner? He’s deep. It’s like conversing with fucking Ghandi, talking to Les sometimes.” A crash sounded in the background.

“Are you all right?” Randy’s concern grew.

“Sure am. Tripped over a few bottles.” Tony grunted.

“When did you start drinking, Tony?” He tried to remember the last time Tony’d been this drunk.

“Let’s see. Juan left about five. I went to the store and got snubbed by my father.

That had to have been around six. So I’d say I started at seven. What time is it now?”

Randy checked the clock. “It’s midnight.”

“Five hours. Beer and whiskey. I’m going to be sicker than a dog tomorrow, aren’t I?” Tony asked.

“Yes, I think you will, babe.” Randy laughed. “So you talked to your nephew?”

“Yep. He’s queer too. It must run in the family, though I’d never tell that to my father. Probably give the man a coronary.” Tony sighed. “Thing is, Randy, the kid’s got things figured out all ready. Don’t know what good talking to me did him. I should have sent Les to chat with him. He could have explained things better.”

“Les can be helpful, but Juan wouldn’t have talked to him. First of all, Les is a gringo and you all tend to be tight lipped around us. Second, Les’ experiences aren’t the same as ours. His father loved him and accepted him. You know how Juan’s mother’s going to react because it’s how your parents reacted. You’re the best one for your nephew to talk to, Tony.” Randy wanted to reach through the phone and wrap his arms around his friend.

“I’m lonely, cowboy.”

Tony’s admission was so low, Randy almost didn’t hear it. The words and tone cut Randy’s heart. He squeezed Les’ shoulder. Les frowned and sat up, putting his ear next to the phone.

“I know you are. It’s hard to be in a place where no one seems to care or even want you.” Randy entangled his fingers with Les’.

“Not just here. I expected that. No one’s ever cared for me here. I want what you have with Les. Sometimes it hurts to see you two together.” Tony’s voice faded and then Randy heard his friend mutter, “I miss Mac. Stupid, isn’t it? I’ve had one night stands before and none of them made me dream of them a week after I slept with them. I can’t stop thinking about him.”

Randy glanced at Les. Surprise and sadness welled in his lover’s eyes. They had never meant to hurt Tony.

“God. I’m being a girl. Now I know why I don’t get drunk very often. Ignore me. Go back to bed, cowboy, and forget I ever said anything.” Tony hung up.

Randy dropped the receiver back on