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raised her eyebrows further, setting her mouth in a toothy smile. With a high voice, she explained about the strawberry jam she was making. The officer gave no response as she swept her hand towards the side of the room you could call the kitchen.

I imagined his raised expression, waiting for the questions to flow when he saw no pots and pans, no ingredients spread across the kitchen work surface. Instead, a question came from further away, the officer who’d been circling the van appearing from behind as my look shot back in his direction.

“Is this your van?” he said, dropping his radio from his mouth.

Toni shook her head.

“Do I look like I work for the BBC?” she said. There was a second pause. “The guy next door,” she said, gesturing to her right, “works in film. He’s always bringing home the props,” she said with laughter in her voice, running her fingers through her hair and pushing out her chest. The moment hung silent in the air.

It all came down to whether he had time for a wild goose chase when there was real chaos unfolding up the road. My breath came back the moment he spoke, the intake of air so loud I could hardly hear his words.

“Okay, Miss. The advice is to stay indoors. Keep your windows closed and stay off the roads. There’s a lot of military coming in to help with the clean-up. It’s nothing too bad, but best to keep to what I say. Do you understand?”

I watched as she took a moment to think and then let out a nod before closing the door.

“A chemical spill?” I said as she stepped away.

“They had to say something,” she said, then pulled her mouth wide, flashing her teeth as she spoke. “Sorry, a group of government scientists just up the road are bringing people back from the dead, only to let them escape. They’re coming your way, so stay inside. If you don’t, you’ll get bitten and you’ll join the massing undead army.”

I stood still, waiting to see if she would burst into laughter. Waiting for a sign this wasn’t real.

“People need the truth,” I replied when her face remained flat as stone before I hurried up the stairs.

***

The cascade of water felt as if it cleansed through my entire body. The act of lathering up, washing myself down, watching the water turn from red to clear again. Untangling my hair as I ran my fingers through felt like I cleaned away all that had gone by.

As I dried, I felt shrouded in optimism, the bite wound now barely a scar. I felt an uplifting sense it was all going to be okay.

My thoughts turned to who I’d call first. I had to tell my parents I was okay, even though it was a lie. Then Stan. I’d have to tell him about Mike and Dan. I could feel my head getting heavy as I thought about their families.

I had to remain calm. I couldn’t lose it. I was already going to sound like I’d lost my mind when I tried to explain what was going on. Perhaps I should just say I needed picking up. I could set up in the regional offices in Exeter and Stan could come to me. I could tell him in person and make a plan from there.

I stepped from the bathroom full of resolve and retraced my steps to find Toni’s wide-open smile greeting me as she stood pulling off her white lace bra which matched the knickers already laying to the floor. I drew a slow, deep breath, determined not to dissuade me from my course.

My gaze fell to the clothes she’d laid at the bed. My clothes, I thought as my heart fluttered. The red jacket and skirt she’d grabbed from her office. An outfit I’d left behind in my rush to get away two years ago now, and for the first time I wondered why she had kept it at her office?

I stared, letting the thought drop as memories of pleasure flooded back and I turned to see her standing beside me, her warmth radiating through my towel.

“What you smiling at?” she said.

“You’re smiling too,” I replied, glancing down to see her protruding nipples. I thought about letting the towel drop and watching as her grin raised higher.

By the sight of her biting her bottom lip, I could see she was thinking the same.

“No time for that,” she said, her mouth bunching in a pout.

I didn’t say a word, but my eyebrows lowering did all the talking as I ran my hand between her shoulder blades.

“No,” she said stepping away.

“You’re right,” I said, the disappointment clear in my voice as I kicked myself for the control she had.

Toni disappeared through the door towards the shower, her words echoing before it closed at her back.

“I’ve found her.”

34

The white vest top from Toni’s drawer fit as if it were my own, the bra a size too large but would have to do and the jacket, which was mine, hung loose and gaped wide.

I heard the two opposing voices in my head. The first, my mother reaching for the cupboard to find me food as she chastised me for not eating properly. The second, Toni’s single remark as we ate takeaway at her dining room table to make me push away the plate.

I stood at the mirror, running my hand down my stomach, not knowing whether to curse the inward flow of my touch as I stared at the way the material hung loose, or to celebrate the loss of weight. Either way I had to be ready to meet the world again. I had to be ready to share my story.

I heard the rush of water stop and I stared out of the window,

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