Journey from St. Petersburg to Moscow Irina Reyfman (snow like ashes .TXT) 📖

view, the sky burst a cloud open and the rain came bucketing down.—Nothing to be done about the weather. As the saying goes, “the slower you travel, the farther you go.” I dismounted from the carriage and ran into the nearest cabin. The owner was going to bed and it was dark in the cabin. Nonetheless, even in the dark I asked leave to dry off. I removed my wet clothing and, placing what was drier under my head, soon fell asleep on a bench. My bedding was not exactly fluffy and did not afford me a chance to luxuriate for long. Awakening, I overheard a whisper. I could distinguish two voices having a chat between themselves. “Well, husband, give us a story then…,” said a female voice. “Listen, wife.”

“Once upon a time….” “And it’s just like a fairy tale; not that one can believe a fairy tale,” said the wife in a soft voice, yawning from sleep, “as if I could believe that there used to be a Polkan, Bova, and Nightingale-Robber.”25 “Well, who is browbeating you; believe if you like. But it is true that in olden times physical strength was held in respect and certain strongmen abused their powers. That’s where Polkan comes in. And on Nightingale-Robber, mother mine, read the interpreters of Russian antiquity. They will tell you that he was named Nightingale thanks to his eloquence…. Do not interrupt my speech. And so, once upon a time somewhere there lived a governor-general.26 In his youth he bummed around foreign lands, learned to eat oysters for which he had a keen appetite. For as long as he had little moolah of his own he refrained from his craving, eating about ten at a time, and then only when he happened to be in Petersburg. As soon as he climbed in rank the number of oysters on his table began to increase. As soon as he joined the ranks of governors-general and then had a lot of his own money, and a lot of government money at his disposal, concerning oysters he became like a pregnant female. He sleeps and dreams of eating oysters. When they are in season nobody gets any rest. His subordinates, all, become martyrs. He will eat oysters—no matter what! He sends an order to the Department to supply a courier whom he intends to dispatch to Petersburg with important reports. Everyone knows the courier will go off at a gallop to fetch oysters. No matter what, just fork out the travel costs. The departmental purse is full of holes. A messenger, equipped with a pass, travel expenses, fully prepared, wearing britches and a riding jacket, comes before His Excellency. ‘Make haste, my friend,’ he intones, medal-laden, ‘make haste, take this envelope, deliver it to Bolshaya Morskaya Street.’27 ‘The order is to whom?’ ‘Read the address.’ ‘His … His….’ ‘That’s not how you should read.’ ‘To my Lord … Lor….’ ‘Wrong … to Mr. Korzinkin, honorable shopkeeper in St. Petersburg on Bolshaya Morskaya.’ ‘I know, Your Excellency.’ ‘Get on with it then, my friend, and return as soon as you receive it, delay not an instant; I shall say more than one thank-you.’

“Giddy up to all three horses all the way to Piter, and direct to Korzinkin at his business. ‘Welcome. That Excellency is a veritable joker, he is, sending for such rubbish from a thousand versts.* A good master though. Happy to serve him. The oysters here are straight from the Exchange. Tell him that they are not less than one hundred fifty a barrel, no discount, they cost us a lot. But we, I and his grace, will settle up.’ A barrel was dumped into the carriage. Heading back, the courier gallops once again; he had only enough time to pop into a tavern and down two thimbles of moonshine.

“Ding-ding…. As soon as the bell of the postal carriage was heard at the city gates the watch officer dashes off to the governor-general (isn’t it good when everything works) and reports to him that from a distance the carriage is visible and the ring of the little bell audible. He had scarce managed to get the words out when the courier darted through the door. ‘Your Excellency, I have brought them.’ ‘Very timely.’ (Turning to the assembled:) ‘A genuinely good man, responsible and not a drunkard. Quite a few years now that he makes the journey twice a year to Petersburg, and as for how many times to Moscow—I cannot fathom. Secretary, write a recommendation for promotion: “For his numerous deeds in dispatches and his most accurate completion thereof I reward him with promotion by a rank….” ’

“In the treasurer’s expenditure ledger there is an entry: ‘by the motion of his Excellency to the courier N.N. dispatched to S.P. with the most important documents is granted from the reserve budget travel expenses in both directions for three horses….’ The ledger of the accounts department has gone off for an audit but there’s not a whiff of oysters.

“On the recommendation of the General Sir etc. IT WAS ORDAINED: Sergeant N.N. is to be a warrant officer…. Well, wife,” said the male voice, “this is how to progress in the ranks, and what do I gain by serving flawlessly? I shall not get ahead by one jot. According to the rules, it is mandated that competent service be rewarded. A Tsar’s generosity is only as good as his ministers. That’s the way it is here with our Mr. Treasurer. Once again, for the second time by his order, I am being sent for criminal trial. If we had been more hand in glove, that would have been like being a pig in clover.”28 “Enough, Klementich, of talking nonsense. Do you know why he doesn’t like you? Because you take payments for the exchange from everyone and don’t share round with them.”29 “Shush, Kuzminichna, quiet, what if someone is listening.” Both voices fell silent, and I fell asleep again.

In the morning I learned that