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his hands stayed on my face and his thumb stroked my cheek lightly.

“So damn much,” he kissed me again, “We need to talk.”

“No you need to go, I need to go,” I wiggled out of his arms.

“Look I have a lot to tell you. Crazy shit Carly, but you deserve…”

I grabbed the tree started walking away.

“STOP,” he grabbed the tree, “Give me five fucking minutes!” I turned and shook my head no, I was afraid I would cry if I spoke. “The hell you won’t! So much has happened Carly. I really thought I could just walk away from you, do the right thing you know? But I can’t stop thinking of you, wanting to hear your voice, smell you, kiss you, taste you, it hasn’t changed Carly…”

“I’m seeing someone,” I looked at him and his eyes flashed hurt and then anger.

“Brad?” he hissed.

“That’s none of your business,” I turned and walked away. I could not look at him anymore.

“Don’t fucking walk away from me!”

“You did it first!” I screamed back and then I ran. I left the tree sitting on the sidewalk and ran all the way home.

I walked in the door and rat terrier growled. I threw my coat on the floor, grabbed my bag, and ran upstairs to my room. Well what used to be my room? Fucking bitch! She had painted it fucking pink, with pink frilly fucking curtains and bedding. The carpet had even changed. I threw my clothes on the floor and pulled out my warm fuzzy pajamas pants and a tee-shirt and changed. I climbed into bed and cried.

I woke to something wet on my face, it was the rat terrier. I jumped up, “Listen little spawn of Satan, if you think…” He rested his head on my knee and looked up. “We are not friends!” I laid down with my back towards him and closed my eyes. He hopped over me and licked my cheek again and put his paw on my hand. He cocked his little head to the side and perked his little ears up, “This does not make us friends,” I said before petting him. He snuggled against me and I fell asleep.

I opened my eyes when I heard a piercing scream. It was morning and apparently Dad and rat terriers owner were home. I looked beside me and rat terrier looked up at me and she screamed again. Rat terrier laid his head down and put his paw over his eyes and I laughed.

I let her rant and rave for about five minutes before I decided to walk down the stairs. With ratty in my arms.

“Good morning Dad,” I said loud enough to gain his attention.

“What are you doing with Pauly?” Barbie cried. Yes-- she actually cried. She tried to grab him and he growled, which made her jump and cry even more, “What did you do to him?”

“Your dog slept in my room…”

“His room!” Barbie tried to take him again and he snapped.

I looked at Dad as I sat the dog on the ground, “So, I’ll be sharing a room with…”

“Your belongings have been moved to the room at the end of the hall,” Barbie was finally able to pick up rat…Pauly. “Why don’t you take your daughter to breakfast while I clean up this mess?”

I looked at my father who still could not look me in the eyes. He grabbed his coat, “Could I shower and get dressed first?” I walked up the stairs trying not to freak out.

~

Dad and I walked into a little diner on the boardwalk. We ordered and he finally decided to speak.

“Barbie and I are getting married,” I looked up at him, “I’m sorry about…”

“About what my room now being a dog’s? And seriously? A boy dog with a pink room Dad?” I tried to joke, which was better than freaking out.

“Look, I know you don’t particularly care for Barbie,” he stopped when the waitress set our coffee on the table.

“That’s kind of funny Dad, she’s the one who has never even said hello. But she certainly can bitch,” I rolled my eyes.

“Carly, I will not have you talk about her like that. She is the first woman I have actually loved…”

“And please tell me what you find remotely lovable about her? She is a RAVING lunatic…”

“She’s good for me Carly. You’re going to have to learn how to deal with her,” Dad looked up as the waitress brought out our food.

“Have you had the same talk with her? Is it alright that she treats me like a second rate citizen?” I was pissed, so pissed, “She moved my stuff out of my room…”

“To be fair Carly, you’re only here a few months out of the year and you never liked the new house anyway. I’m sure you weren’t attached to the bedroom,” he didn’t even look up at me.

“That’s nice Dad, there’s a word for what is going on with you,” I sneered.

“Do not disrespect me,” his fist hit the table.

“What the hell happened to you? Wait-- don’t answer that. I’m going to walk home…”

“The tree is not coming in the house,” he looked at me with the parental warning glare.

“What are you talking about?”

“The one on the front lawn Carly.”

“Fine, thanks for breakfast Dad,” I hadn’t noticed the tree but I’m sure I knew how it got there.

I walked out into the cold air and started walking towards home, or the house that apparently isn’t home, apparently it never was. I know I’m twenty years old, but this hurt. It was certainly a Christmas Eve I would never forget.

I walked a little further until I came to the spot on the beach where I had met Jase. It was empty, I was freezing-- but I didn’t care. I wasn’t going back to Barbie’s house. Not now, because I’m pretty sure my inner badass, tattoo shop girl was ready to rear her bad-ass head again. I needed to put her in check.

I sat shaking on the rock that Jase had

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