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nothing to feel ashamed of.

But I couldn’t make it stop.

FOURTEEN

This was it. I let my tears cleanse my body, allowing myself to finally let go. I had a fucking amazing therapist who had worked through the assault with me, but there had always been something inside me. Something I hadn’t allowed myself to let go of. I’d built a shell, and now the rawness was exposed to the open, it was cathartic.

“Lena?” A small hand touched my arm gently, and I raised my head, blinking my swollen eyes. Winter’s face came into focus.

“What are you doing here?” My voice was a hoarse croak, and I wasn’t even sure if she understood what I was saying.

“West.” She tugged my arm gently. “Come on, let’s get you inside. You’re shivering.”

Huh. I was, and I hadn’t even noticed. As she helped me to my feet, I turned, and the next second I was being enveloped in warm, strong arms.

“Fuck, sis. What’s going on?” My brother kissed the top of my head.

“I don’t want to talk—” I started to say, then realised that actually, that wasn’t true. I did want to talk about it. To finally purge my mind and body of this secret shame that had left me unable and unwilling to develop any kind of meaningful relationship with Weston. “Can we go inside? I’ll tell you then.” My arms slipped around Cassius’ waist, and I felt him sigh.

“Course we can. Come on.”

Curled up on the huge L-shaped sofa in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows, a fluffy blanket wrapped around my shoulders, I sipped the hot chocolate Winter had made for me, while I tried to work out where to begin.

“I only want to talk about this once,” I began. “So please don’t-don’t interrupt me, okay? Because I might not be able to get it all out.” From her position beside me, Winter nodded and squeezed my arm reassuringly. Holding my breath, I flicked my gaze to my brother’s, where he sat across from me on the L of the sofa, his expression unreadable. He also nodded, and I let out my breath in relief. “Okay. Thank you. It happened when I was fourteen, when you and Dad went on that outdoor skills week away…”

As I spoke, relaying what had happened, I felt Winter’s soft gasp next to me, and she inched closer, putting her arm around my shoulders. I allowed my head to lean against her, feeling so tired all of a sudden. So drained. Cassius… His whole body was practically vibrating with tension, his fists and jaw clenched so tightly that I knew he was going to explode the second I stopped speaking.

Leaning forwards, I placed my hand on his knee. “Mum dealt with the guys. I wasn’t—I didn’t want it to damage our reputation, so I didn’t want to go to the police.”

“Fuck that!” He stared at me, breathing hard. “Fucking fuck the reputation. You were attacked, Lena! People need to pay.”

“Would you have really wanted the scandal? Would Dad? To have our name dragged through the courts, to be the focus of gossip, for it to be my word against theirs?” I was crying again now, and I was shocked to see tears in my brother’s eyes, too.

“But—” He cut himself off, burying his face in his hands. When his shoulders shook, I lunged forwards and threw myself at him.

“Cass, please.”

“Fuck, Lena. I just can’t…I want to kill the people that did this to you.”

“Mum sorted it. Believe me, they’re never going to hurt anyone again.”

Raising his head, he stared at me. “Our mum? Estella Drummond? Tiny woman who looks like she wouldn’t hurt a fly?”

A laugh burst out of me unexpectedly, and his lips curved up in response.

“Yeah. She— She’s friends with, um, someone. Someone who can make things…and people…disappear.”

Winter’s voice came from behind me. “Why do all of you know people with all these connections? It’s not normal.”

I turned to her, smiling. “We’re Drummonds.”

She rolled her eyes but returned my smile.

“Were you targeted because of who you were?” Cassius hugged me closer, swiping my hair away from my face so he could look into my eyes.

“No. It was a random, unprovoked attack. I guess they thought I was an easy target or whatever.” I laughed, although I didn’t find any humour in it. “Too bad for them that I’m a Drummond.”

We were silent for a moment, Winter and Cassius digesting everything I’d told them. My eyes met Winter’s, and I took a deep breath, immediately feeling lighter as I said the words. “You can tell Cade, by the way. And Zayde, too, I guess. I don’t want to talk about it again.”

“West?” She prodded gently, before her face fell. “Although he’s not exactly talking to any of us at the moment.”

“No.” Shaking my head firmly, I looked between them both. “I need to tell him. I owe him an explanation.”

An expression of horror suddenly crossed her face. “Shit. You know what this means, right?” Throwing her head back against the sofa, she let out a huge groan. “I’m going to have to tell Cade that James played the hero again.”

Cassius laughed loudly as the tension in the room dissipated. “This should be good.”

Winter raised a sceptical brow. “It really won’t. You know how much he dislikes James.”

“I think he secretly likes him.”

“Hmm,” she said, clearly unconvinced, before she turned serious again. “I hate that you’ve had to keep this all inside you for so long.”

I shrugged, feeling lighter than I had in a very long time. “Yeah, well. Mum knew, obviously, and I had an amazing therapist who helped me to work through everything. But I didn’t want to talk about it. At first I felt shame—”

“You have nothing to feel ashamed of. Those sick fucks are nothing but animals.” Cassius cut me off angrily, and I hugged him again, trying to calm him.

“I know. I know I don’t. I’m just explaining that to begin with I felt guilt, and shame, and Kaylie,

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