The Lying, the Witch, and the Werewolf (Down & Dirty Supernatural Cleaning Services Book 4) Kate Quinn (read this if txt) 📖

“Jax.” I turn to my ex-husband, amazed even after all these years at his lack of shame. “We know you want money, that’s why we’re ignoring you.”

“Paige, please,” his eyes grow large and pleading. “I’m gonna make it all back and then some this weekend at Charms. There’s a huge poker party. But I gotta have enough for the buy in.”

I look at Nico and he shakes his head. “That’s the opposite of a good investment.”

“Okay, okay,” Jax’s head falls and he shoves his hands in his pockets. “I understand. I just thought you might do it, not for me, but for Kimmy…”

I roll my eyes at this act. “I doubt Kimmy is relying on your betting income.”

“Of course not,” Jax confirms. “She takes care of me. That’s why I want to buy something special for her.”

I snort. “Special like what? An engagement ring?”

Jax’s eyes widen in surprise. “Yes! Exactly! How did you know?”

“What?” I nearly choke on the word as my mind races. Jax and Kimmy haven’t even been together a year. Even though Jax and I have been divorced for longer than we were married, he always swore that he’d forever try to win me back. Not that I ever wanted him to succeed...but I liked having him try. I liked having him in my back pocket. But now he wants to marry Kimmy. Just like Brent married Giselle.

All I ever wanted was a normal life. Now my ex-husband is proposing to his girlfriend while I’m heading off to a supernatural sex cult.

“I’ll give you the money,” Nico says suddenly. “In return I need you to give Paige and Shit a ride right now.”

“Paige and Shit?” Jax repeats.

“Both,” Nico confirms.

Jax considers this a moment. “Well, I’m sure Kimmy wouldn’t mind about Paige, I mean, she even told me that if she were ever to be interested in a three-way, you’re her first call... But Shit...IDK. I don’t think he even likes me.” Taking a few steps in Shit’s direction, Jax holds out his hand. Shit gives a low warning growl, telling Jax to keep his distance.

“See, I can’t even get close to him,” Jax patiently explains to a confused Nico. “And my dick is pretty long—I’m sure Paige has told you—but—”

“Oh my god, Jax,” I burst out. “He means a ride in your car!”

“Ooooh,” Jax says, ruffling his hair. “Well, I guess if I put the seats down that could work. So what are the mechanics? Paige gets the ride while Shit watches?”

I turn to Nico. “Help me here.”

Nico just smirks and gives me a helpless shrug. “You married the guy.”

Yeah, I did. And it’s yet another reason I picked the Thunderstick with its lifetime warranty. It might be the one relationship I’m capable of sustaining.

“Why is this even a question?” I snap, my sudden irritation with every man in my life hitting a sore spot. “Nico, I thought you were driving me.”

“I was,” Nico says. “But then Jax showed up and I thought I’d take the opportunity. We know there is some level of security at the drop off point for new members, and the supe community is smaller than you think. If you’re seen with me you’re boned. Or I guess, you won’t be boned.”

I look around the office. “You realize that a quick Google search will show that you and I share an office?”

“I had Hepa take care of that. Even though our work address is the same, anyone who sees it will not remember. Someone could literally look me up, write down the address, then look you up and write down that address, not realizing they are the same.” I note his stress of literally, letting me know he’s using it correctly.

“Hepa did that?” I ask. “And I get a walkie-talkie toothbrush, a barrette, and a broom that can kind of fly?” I ask. “Hepa must really dislike me.”

“She actually likes you a lot, I think,” Nico tells me. “Although with her it’s hard to tell.”

“So, back to me,” Jax says.

“Oh sorry, were you not the main topic of conversation for ten seconds?” I ask. I turn to Nico. “Do you really think this is necessary?”

“Yes, to maintain your cover. And yes, I might be recognized. I’m fairly distinctive,” Nico says, somehow managing to keep a straight face. Because yeah, a Calvin Klein model with an eye-patch and a swagger like his dick is pulling to the left does tend to stand out. “Having Jax drive you removes one more wrinkle from the equation.”

“That’s me, removing wrinkles all day,” Jax says, heading out the door. “Let me just throw some stuff in the trunk,” he calls back as it swings shut behind him.

“And,” Nico lowers his voice, leaning into me. “If you should happen to have a little car trouble on the way, or need to pull over for any reason, just make sure Shit knows not to be too protective.”

“Car trouble?” I ask. “Jax’s car is brand new. I don’t know how he could afford it, I mean, his credit is blown and I doubt he has that kind of cash…” But I do know how he affords it. His sugar mama girlfriend.

“Paige,” Nico says patiently. “I’m saying, if you should need some time alone with your husband—”

“Ex-husband,” I correct, straightening up.

“Right, but you two still sometimes…” I give Nico a shove before he can finish that sentence.

“No, we don’t. Why the hell would you think that?”

Nico shrugs. “When I say ride and Jax assumes I meant sex, it seemed like maybe you two have an understanding.”

My frustration rises to the point where steam must be coming out of my ears. “Jax thinks ride means sex because he’s a bonehead. Or a boner-head. That man has not touched me since the day I found out he cheated on me and he never will.”

“Thrown out of paradise,” Nico smirks.

I narrow my eyes at him. “Yeah, that’s right, so Jax and I don’t need any time alone. In