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finding you a place to live and then move the rest of your shit here.”

“What?” I’m so shocked that I’m not even thinking about the life-altering news from just seconds ago.

“Yep. You need support. I’m your person. Don’t worry about a thing. I’m going to take care of you. All I have to do is get your stuff here first.” Jazzy walks out of the bathroom, typing on her phone. “Don’t bitch either, this is happening. You can stay here and save money until your life balances itself out. You’ll see, just let me do this.”

I trail behind as she rambles on some more and once she’s quiet, I get a word in. “I love you. You’re my sister by another mister, you know that?”

“Of course. We made a blood pact, and there is no coming out of those, ever.”

“I would hug you, but I can only be so soft in one day.” Instead, I poke her shoulder.

“Noted.” She pokes back. “Who was there for me the last few years? You.”

As excited as I am that she has taken me in and helped, because there’s no one else on this earth I would trust, the residual fear of telling Cowboy he could be the father looms over me. Also, would I be any good as a mom? Mine was an incubator. I hope it comes naturally because there is no taking back what has happened. Some nights change our lives. We don’t intend for the dominos to fall, but once they have, there’s no telling where they will land. It’s the unknown that scares me so much.

6

Cowboy

I’ve been on the road for what feels like a week, haulin’ all over California, when I’m called into a spot I never believed I would return to again. My old Prez from Ely, Nevada, calls my cell. It takes me a second to get over the shock of seeing his name. I grew up in Ely as a kid on a ranch and bull riding was my pastime for years. My best friend grew up on the ranch next to ours, which was five miles away. There wasn’t a day we didn’t meet up after chores. We rode bulls in rodeos together until we both prospected for the local MC there, the Silver Creek MC.

“Can’t say I’m not surprised as hell to hear from you, Angus.”

“Hey, boy,” the old Prez starts with a wheeze in his voice, then coughs. “I need ya to come home for a weekend.”

Shit, this can’t be good. He’s been battling the bottle and cigarettes for years. My guess is the lung cancer is about to pull him under.

“I’ll see what I can do to get to you when I can. Hang in there. You’re too fuckin’ stubborn to go out easily.”

His dry laugh echoes through the phone. “You could teach us about being stubborn, kid. See ya soon.” I didn’t leave because I wanted to, I needed to, and he respected it. Still, not being there for him these past five years aches somethin’ fierce. He’s a good man and he ran a clean crew. Not like what we run now. The whole ride back to Reno, I can’t help but feel the sting of the past creep up on me like an old bitter mistress.

Once my boots hit the dirt outside of the clubhouse, Lucky springs out from behind me and takes off out back for a run. Walking through the building, a sense of home washes over me. My life is settled and running back into the past fills me with dread. At the bar, Blade, our Prez, and his Ol’ Lady are deep in discussion. Vegas holds her newborn baby girl, Adelina, while their twin boys play on the floor together, wrestling around.

My whole life growing up, I pictured my life just like I had with my dad, full with kids running around, being a rancher and driving truck. Every choice I made seemed to pull me further away from that life. As time passed, the more I got used to the idea that a family and the cowboy life wasn’t for me. Watching those boys wrestle down on the floor brings back memories. The rawness in my heart is new, a sensation I haven’t felt before. It’s a glaring reality of what I can’t have, a family. I left my regrets back in Ely with that bitch and my best friend. One night, one rodeo, and shit changed in the blink of an eye for me.

I shake my head to get back in the now. “Hey, Prez, I need to take a vacation and head back home.”

Blade kisses his baby on her head and points to his office. Fuck, I inwardly groan. I wanted a clean break. All these changes around here are good, don’t get me wrong, but these guys are a bunch of nosy assholes.

Walking in, we halt temporarily. “What the fuck?” Prez shouts, seeing Axl in his chair with his feet propped up on the desk. With his hands behind his head, he’s out cold, taking a nap. Axl snores loudly at Prez’s outburst and doesn’t flinch. Blade grabs his boots and tosses them to the floor. It’s funny watching it happen to Axl, but it wasn’t so funny when he did it to me a week ago.

Axl’s hands fly up to steady the world. His eyes bulge before he balances himself on the desk in front of him. “Dude, I haven’t slept in days. I was waiting for you and I must have fallen asleep.” He rubs his eyes with his palms. “Maddy is sick and killing me, man. How does something so little kill a man? It’s the worst torture.” He looks up and yawns. “What’s going on with you?”

Blade stands in front of him and waits for him to move. Axl squints up and huffs before he moves to the other office chair. “I need to head home for a week and check on things.”

“What things, Cowboy?”

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