Major Barbara George Bernard Shaw (crime books to read txt) š
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epub:type="z3998:persona">Price
Thievin swine! Wish I ad their job, Rummy, all the same. Wot does Rummy stand for? Pet name props?
Rummy
Short for Romola.
Price
For wot!?
Rummy
Romola. It was out of a new book. Somebody me mother wanted me to grow up like.
Price
Weāre companions in misfortune, Rummy. Both on us got names that nobody cawnt pronounce. Consequently Iām Snobby and youāre Rummy because Bill and Sally wasnāt good enough for our parents. Such is life!
Rummy
Who saved you, Mr. Price? Was it Major Barbara?
Price
No: I come here on my own. Iām goin to be Bronterre OāBrien Price, the converted painter. I know wot they like. Iāll tell āem how I blasphemed and gambled and wopped my poor old motherā ā
Rummy
Shocked. Used you to beat your mother?
Price
Not likely. She used to beat me. No matter: you come and listen to the converted painter, and youāll hear how she was a pious woman that taught me me prayers at āer knee, anā how I used to come home drunk and drag her out oā bed be āer snow white āairs, anā lam into āer with the poker.
Rummy
Thatās whatās so unfair to us women. Your confessions is just as big lies as ours: you donāt tell what you really done no more than us; but you men can tell your lies right out at the meetins and be made much of for it; while the sort oā confessions we az to make az to be wispered to one lady at a time. It aināt right, spite of all their piety.
Price
Right! Do you spose the Armyād be allowed if it went and did right? Not much. It combs our āair and makes us good little blokes to be robbed and put upon. But Iāll play the game as good as any of āem. Iāll see somebody struck by lightninā, or hear a voice sayin āSnobby Price: where will you spend eternity?ā Iāll āave a time of it, I tell you.
Rummy
You wonāt be let drink, though.
Price
Iāll take it out in gorspellinā, then. I donāt want to drink if I can get fun enough any other way.
Jenny Hill, a pale, overwrought, pretty Salvation lass of 18, comes in through the yard gate, leading Peter Shirley, a half hardened, half worn-out elderly man, weak with hunger.
Jenny
Supporting him. Come! pluck up. Iāll get you something to eat. Youāll be all right then.
Price
Rising and hurrying officiously to take the old man off Jennyās hands. Poor old man! Cheer up, brother: youāll find rest and peace and āappiness āere. Hurry up with the food, miss: āeās fair done. Jenny hurries into the shelter. āEre, buck up, daddy! Sheās fetchin yāa thick slice oā bread ānā treacle, anā a mug oā skyblue. He seats him at the corner of the table.
Rummy
Gaily. Keep up your old art! Never say die!
Shirley
Iām not an old man. Iām ony 46. Iām as good as ever I was. The grey patch come in my hair before I was thirty. All it wants is three pennorth oā hair dye: am I to be turned on the streets to starve for it? Holy God! Iāve worked ten to twelve hours a day since I was thirteen, and paid my way all through; and now am I to be thrown into the gutter and my job given to a young man that can do it no better than me because Iāve black hair that goes white at the first change?
Price
Cheerfully. No good jawrinā about it. Youāre ony a jumped-up, jerked-off, āorspittle-turned-out incurable of an ole workin man: who cares about you? Eh? Make the thievinā swine give you a meal: theyāve stole many a one from you. Get a bit oā your own back. Jenny returns with the usual meal. There you are, brother. Awsk a blessin an tuck that into you.
Shirley
Looking at it ravenously but not touching it, and crying like a child. I never took anything before.
Jenny
Petting him. Come, come! the Lord sends it to you: he wasnāt above taking bread from his friends; and why should you be? Besides, when we find you a job you can pay us for it if you like.
Shirley
Eagerly. Yes, yes: thatās true. I can pay you back: itās only a loan. Shivering. Oh Lord! oh Lord! He turns to the table and attacks the meal ravenously.
Jenny
Well, Rummy, are you more comfortable now?
Rummy
God bless you, lovey! Youāve fed my body and saved my soul, havenāt you? Jenny, touched, kisses her. Sit down and rest a bit: you must be ready to drop.
Jenny
Iāve been going hard since morning. But thereās more work than we can do. I mustnāt stop.
Rummy
Try a prayer for just two minutes. Youāll work all the better after.
Jenny
Her eyes lighting up. Oh isnāt it wonderful how a few minutes prayer revives you! I was quite lightheaded at twelve oāclock, I was so tired; but Major Barbara just sent me to pray for five minutes; and I was able to go on as if I had only just begun. To Price. Did you have a piece of bread?
Paige
With unction. Yes, miss; but Iāve got the piece that I value more; and thatās the peace that passeth hall hannerstennin.
Rummy
Fervently. Glory Hallelujah!
Bill Walker, a rough customer of about 25, appears at the yard gate and looks malevolently at Jenny.
Jenny
That makes me so happy. When you say that, I feel wicked for loitering here. I must get to work again.
She is hurrying to the shelter, when the newcomer moves quickly up to the door and intercepts her. His manner is so threatening that she retreats as he comes at her truculently, driving her down the yard.
Bill
I know you. Youāre the one that took away my girl. Youāre the one that set āer agen
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