Major Barbara George Bernard Shaw (crime books to read txt) đ
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- Author: George Bernard Shaw
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have the bread and treacle in you that you come here to beg.
Shirley
Bursting into tears. Oh God! itâs true: Iâm only an old pauper on the scrap heap. Furiously. But youâll come to it yourself; and then youâll know. Youâll come to it sooner than a teetotaller like me, fillinâ yourself with gin at this hour oâ the morninâ!
Bill
Iâm no gin drinker, you old liar; but when I want to give my girl a bloominâ good âidinâ I like to âav a bit oâ devil in me: see? An here I am, talkinâ to a rotten old blighter like you sted oâ givinâ her wot for. Working himself into a rage. Iâm goin in there to fetch her out. He makes vengefully for the shelter door.
Shirley
Youâre goin to the station on a stretcher, more likely; and theyâll take the gin and the devil out of you there when they get you inside. You mind what youâre about: the major here is the Earl oâ Stevenageâs granddaughter.
Bill
Checked. Garn!
Shirley
Youâll see.
Bill
His resolution oozing. Well, I ainât done nothinâ to âer.
Shirley
Spose she said you did! whoâd believe you?
Bill
Very uneasy, skulking back to the corner of the penthouse. Gawd! Thereâs no jastice in this country. To think wot them people can do! Iâm as good as âer.
Shirley
Tell her so. Itâs just what a fool like you would do.
Barbara, brisk and businesslike, comes from the shelter with a notebook, and addresses herself to Shirley. Bill, cowed, sits down in the corner on a form, and turns his back on them.
Barbara
Good morning.
Shirley
Standing up and taking off his hat. Good morning, miss.
Barbara
Sit down: make yourself at home. He hesitates; but she puts a friendly hand on his shoulder and makes him obey. Now then! since youâve made friends with us, we want to know all about you. Names and addresses and trades.
Shirley
Peter Shirley. Fitter. Chucked out two months ago because I was too old.
Barbara
Not at all surprised. Youâd pass still. Why didnât you dye your hair?
Shirley
I did. Me age come out at a coronerâs inquest on me daughter.
Barbara
Steady?
Shirley
Teetotaller. Never out of a job before. Good worker. And sent to the knockers like an old horse!
Barbara
No matter: if you did your part God will do his.
Shirley
Suddenly stubborn. My religionâs no concern of anybody but myself.
Barbara
Guessing. I know. Secularist?
Shirley
Hotly. Did I offer to deny it?
Barbara
Why should you? My own fatherâs a Secularist, I think. Our Fatherâ âyours and mineâ âfulfils himself in many ways; and I daresay he knew what he was about when he made a Secularist of you. So buck up, Peter! we can always find a job for a steady man like you. Shirley, disarmed, touches his hat. She turns from him to Bill. Whatâs your name?
Bill
Insolently. Wotâs that to you?
Barbara
Calmly making a note. Afraid to give his name. Any trade?
Bill
Whoâs afraid to give his name? Doggedly, with a sense of heroically defying the House of Lords in the person of Lord Stevenage. If you want to bring a charge agen me, bring it. She waits, unruffled. My nameâs Bill Walker.
Barbara
As if the name were familiar: trying to remember how. Bill Walker? Recollecting. Oh, I know: youâre the man that Jenny Hill was praying for inside just now. She enters his name in her notebook.
Bill
Whoâs Jenny Hill? And what call has she to pray for me?
Barbara
I donât know. Perhaps it was you that cut her lip.
Bill
Defiantly. Yes, it was me that cut her lip. I ainât afraid oâ you.
Barbara
How could you be, since youâre not afraid of God? Youâre a brave man, Mr. Walker. It takes some pluck to do our work here; but none of us dare lift our hand against a girl like that, for fear of her father in heaven.
Bill
Sullenly. I want none oâ your cantinâ jaw. I suppose you think I come here to beg from you, like this damaged lot here. Not me. I donât want your bread and scrape and catlap. I donât believe in your Gawd, no more than you do yourself.
Barbara
Sunnily apologetic and ladylike, as on a new footing with him. Oh, I beg your pardon for putting your name down, Mr. Walker. I didnât understand. Iâll strike it out.
Bill
Taking this as a slight, and deeply wounded by it. Eah! you let my name alone. Ainât it good enough to be in your book?
Barbara
Considering. Well, you see, thereâs no use putting down your name unless I can do something for you, is there? Whatâs your trade?
Bill
Still smarting. Thatâs no concern oâ yours.
Barbara
Just so. Very businesslike. Iâll put you down as Writing. the man whoâ âstruckâ âpoor little Jenny Hillâ âin the mouth.
Bill
Rising threateningly. See here. Iâve âad enough oâ this.
Barbara
Quite sunny and fearless. What did you come to us for?
Bill
I come for my girl, see? I come to take her out oâ this and to break âer jawr for her.
Barbara
Complacently. You see I was right about your trade. Bill, on the point of retorting furiously, finds himself, to his great shame and terror, in danger of crying instead. He sits down again suddenly. Whatâs her name?
Bill
Dogged. âEr nameâs Mog Abbijam: thats wot her name is.
Barbara
Oh, sheâs gone to Canning Town, to our barracks there.
Bill
Fortified by his resentment of Mogâs perfidy. Is she? Vindictively. Then Iâm goin to Kennintahn arter her. He crosses to the gate; hesitates; finally comes back at Barbara. Are you lyinâ to me to get shut oâ me?
Barbara
I donât want to get shut of you. I want to keep you here and save your soul. Youâd better stay: youâre going to have a bad
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