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got to think ā€˜dick pic trending on Twitterā€™ is at the center square on every ā€˜Rockstar ClichĆ© Bingoā€™ card, right? So, Iā€™m probably already fucked.ā€

I stare at his exquisite profile for a long moment, overcome by my attraction to him, and finally say, ā€œI heard a rumor you posted that shot yourselfā€”for publicity or whatever. True?ā€

He scoffs. ā€œNot true.ā€ He flicks some ash from his cigarette onto the ground. ā€œI had nothing to do with it, other than I was stupid enough to take a shower after sex with someone I barely knew, without locking the door.ā€

I contemplate that response for a moment, while, again, admiring his gorgeous profile. His lips as he sucks on his cigarette. I hate cigarettes and donā€™t find them sexy. But I must admit the way Savage is sucking on that thing, and licking his lips in between, makes me wonder what it would be like to kiss him. To have him perform oral sex on me. Sex, sex, sex. Suddenly, thatā€™s all Iā€™m thinking about. Sex with Adrian Savage.

I clear my throat and motion to the cigarette between his lips. ā€œArenā€™t you worried youā€™re gonna get addicted? Nicotine is supposedly more addictive than cocaine.ā€

Savage shrugs. ā€œLike I said, I only smoke when Iā€™m drunk and feel the overwhelming urge to put something in my mouth.ā€ He licks his lips again, this time even more suggestively than before. And, right on cue, Iā€™m feeling the beginning stirrings of arousal again.

I shift my position on the ground, trying to alleviate the faint pulsing between my legs. ā€œMy dad was a heavy smoker and my sister and I once stole one of his cigarettes, when we were, like, nine and twelve. And the minute I inhaled, I thought I was going to die. I thought it was the most disgusting thing Iā€™d ever tasted in my life.ā€

ā€œAnd youā€™ve never tried it again?ā€

I shake my head. ā€œWhy would I, when I know how bad it is for me? Plus, I associate smoking with my father, and heā€™s not a good memory.ā€

ā€œIs he dead?ā€

ā€œNo. Just out of my life. And good riddance.ā€

He holds up the bottle. ā€œCheers to that.ā€ He takes a swig and hands it to me.

ā€œCheers to that,ā€ I echo, before taking a long guzzle. ā€œUh oh,ā€ I say. ā€œDoes this qualify as me drowning my sorrows, now that Iā€™ve mentioned my asshole father?ā€

He chuckles. ā€œYeah. Probably.ā€

ā€œYou seriously never drown your sorrows?ā€

He shrugs. ā€œYou associate cigarettes with your asshole father. I associate being an angry, pissed off drunk with mine. Good riddance.ā€

ā€œCheers to that.ā€ I take a swig and hand him the bottle.

ā€œCheers to that,ā€ he echoes, before taking a long sip.

My heart is thundering at this unexpectedly amazing conversation. I donā€™t know how I thought this ā€œconfrontationā€ was going to go when I marched out here . . . but never in a million years did I think it would go like this. Savage seems almost normal. Likeable and friendly. And insanely, irresistibly hot.

ā€œSo, what do you do whenever you feel like drowning your sorrows, if you donā€™t drink?ā€ I ask.

Savage blows a stream of smoke into the air, but this time, pointedly, away from me. ā€œVarious things. I work out. Write a song. Jack off. Or, if convenient, I fuck.ā€

A soft whimper escapes my lips, so I press them together and look out at the ocean to gather myself. Well, that was a fascinating answer.

ā€œYou still dating the basketball player?ā€ he asks, out of nowhere. And Iā€™m shocked he knows that false fact about me. Kendrick told him about that? Now, why would he do that?

I pause, not sure how to play this. Should I come clean and admit I lied to Kendrick, because I didnā€™t want to hurt his feelings? Or should I lean into the lie?

Before Iā€™ve decided, Savage says, ā€œI overheard Tracy putting Malikā€™s name onto the VIP list for the New York charity show.ā€

Thereā€™s jealousy glinting in his dark eyes, as plain as day. Heā€™s trying to hide it, but itā€™s there. The same way it was there when I flirted with Cash in front of him at Reedā€™s party. And, suddenly, I know exactly how to play this. Lean into the lie.

ā€œYeah, heā€™s coming,ā€ I reply casually. ā€œHe wanted to come to both nights, but heā€™s playing a game on Friday night.ā€

A scornful puff of air escapes Savageā€™s nose. ā€œHave you never googled him, for fuckā€™s sake? Look at the Reddit boards about him, Laila! I wouldnā€™t call him ā€˜boyfriend material.ā€™ā€

Iā€™m flabbergasted. What an unexpected burst of passion from Mr. I Donā€™t Give a Fuck! ā€œOf course, Iā€™ve googled him,ā€ I retort. ā€œAnd it ainā€™t pretty. But guess who else Iā€™ve googled? You. And that shit ainā€™t any prettier, Mr. Dick Pic. So, Iā€™d advise you not to throw stones from your glass house.ā€

ā€œThe difference is I donā€™t pretend to be boyfriend material.ā€

ā€œPeople change and grow. They learn from their mistakes. Malik swears heā€™s learned from his mistakes, and I believe him.ā€

The first part of my statement is true. Malik has, indeed, sworn up and down heā€™s a changed man whoā€™s now looking for a committed relationship. The second part, howeverā€”that Iā€™m stupid enough to actually believe what Malik told meā€”is a bald-face lie. In fact, itā€™s my firm belief Malik only said heā€™s looking for a committed relationship because I told him thatā€™s what Iā€™d need to sleep with him. I actually only said that to Malik to torture him. Iā€™ve certainly had sex outside of a committed relationship in my life. But I wonā€™t do that with Malik Wallace. Hell no. Thereā€™s no way Iā€™m going to be nothing but another notch on that bad boyā€™s belt.

Shaking his head, Savage takes a long slug from the bottle before saying, ā€œChris Rock once famously said men are only as faithful as their options. Looks like youā€™re going to be putting that theory to the test with your ā€˜boyfriend,ā€™ especially in a long distance relationship. Open your eyes, Fitzy. Basketball

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