The Lying, the Witch, and the Werewolf (Down & Dirty Supernatural Cleaning Services Book 4) Kate Quinn (read this if txt) 📖

hand toward me. A little bit of sparkle flickers at the tips of her fingers, and I recognize that she’s sending out a minor charm spell.

I’d seen Hepa toss a charm at one of Nico’s clients…well, actually the client’s husband. He’d burst into the office, suspicious that his wife was banging the P.I. she’d hired to figure out who he was banging. He walked in ready to commit murder, and left with a standing poker night date with Nico at Charms. All because Hepa had flicked some feel-good glitter at him. I asked Hepa why she helped Nico out since usually she doesn’t go out of her way for him...or anyone really. “Couldn’t stand that much testosterone in the room,” she replied.

I step back from the woman, suspicious, but Cassie squeezes my hand.

“It’s okay,” Cassie says, studying the colors snapping at the ends of the woman’s fingers. “That’s a welcoming spell. She’s not trying to influence you, just make you feel warm and invited.”

“Okay,” I say, choosing a spot to flop down on the pillows. But I still have my guard up. Shit cuddles up next to me. It’s at that moment it occurs to me that when I left my broom up in that tree stand with Mac, he didn’t say when and where I could get it back. I honestly don’t even remember letting it go...it must’ve been when I was resisting the urge to lick him from top to bottom like a sexy demon lollipop. Hopefully Cassie is right and he’s a good guy who will get it back to me.

Andorra’s attention is on Shit. “What a beautiful Dalmanther,” she coos, and Shit cocks his head at her. “Welcome ultimate being…” She pauses and looks at me. Oh no, not this shit again.

“What is his name?” she asks, because of course she does.

“Um… Shit,” I tell her. Not for the first time, I have some shame about this fact. But it’s worse here. Everyone adores Dalmanthers at Together We Come. They probably expect his name to be Caesar Augustus or Fancy SnackerPants.

“Shit,” she repeats, still smiling. “Welcome ultimate being, Shit. Welcome all of you to Together We Come.”

“Thank you,” Cassie and I say in unison. She’s right, there is a warm feeling in here, like we could all sit on the floor and eat cookies and it would feel like a sleepover with my best friends.

“My purpose here,” Adorra continues, “is to ask you some questions about your preferences. We want everyone at Together We Come to be perfectly comfortable. Usually we would do this one-on-one but I sense that you are both a bit uncomfortable and are clinging to each other, metaphorically. Are you old friends?”

“We met on the bus,” Cassie says.

I laugh nervously. “Do what?” I ask.

“Please relax, Paige. You will not be asked to do anything that you don’t want to do. Unwanted advances will not be tolerated, is that clear?”

“Yes,” I say, a feeling of relief blooming in my stomach. I mean, I don’t have anything against using my undercover operation to get laid, but it’s going to be on my terms, not because someone slipped a spell into the air and pulled my pants off.

“With that in mind,” Adorra says. “I will place a spell on you to let others know of your preferences. It just makes everything go more smoothly.” She picks something off the ground beside her which for a minute I mistake as a magic wand, but then I see the tablet in her lap and realize it’s just a stylus.

“I thought electronics were banned,” I say.

“They are. If you’d have had your phone they would have set off a magical alarm before you were put on the zipline. You would have been turned away.”

“But you…”

She raises her eyebrows not unkindly, “Paige, we’re not against electronic devices, per se. I mean, we have our podcast to spread our good word. And we even sell our homemade goods online. It keeps our commune going. But you must see why every potential acolyte wouldn’t be allowed to have recording equipment here. Not everyone’s intentions are pure and we’d rather not chance any videos leaking. Out of context it might give the world the wrong impression. If you’re missing your phone…”

“Yes,” I lean forward eagerly.

“There’s a landline in the main building. You’ll have to wait in line though. And if you’re missing porn files from your phone we have an extensive collection in the library and you can use one of our wank tents.”

“No, I don’t need my phone for porn,” I assure her, sitting back. “I was just curious. Continue, please.”

Clearly reading off a checklist on the screen in front of her, Adorra asks, “Paige, can I assume by your current state that you are interested in urine play?”

“Um, no,” I say, twisting at the knot in my skirt.

“My mistake,” she says cooly. “I thought I picked up the distinct scent of—”

“That’s Shit’s piss.” I say.

“And you prefer not to smell like that?” Adorra questions me further.

“Vastly prefer,” I tell her. She flips her hand in the air and my skirt feels suddenly dry. There are times when the supe lifestyle is highly alluring.

“Alright,” Adorra continues, referring to her screen. “Paige, what is the maximum number of people you are willing to be intimate with at a time?”

“Uh…” I draw a blank. I’ve got sexual fantasies with quite a range that starts at comfortable and goes all the way to downright dirty. But in real life I don’t know how many of them I’d actually want to participate in.

“You can always change your preferences,” Adorra assures me. “Many members find their inhibitions melting away after some time here.”

“Let’s just stick with one for now,” I say. “I’m not sure I’d even know what to do with more than that.”

“You figure it out,” Adorra says casually, as she glances at her tablet.

Cassie pipes up, “Where does the second one go?” she asks, confused. Then her eyes widen in realization.

I try not to