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type of BDSM. “These people are waiting to use the phone,” Adorra says. “And I’m sorry, Paige, but I won’t be able to move you to the front of the line. Where comes one...”

“So come we all,” I finish for her. The endless repeating of their motto feels a bit like brainwashing, but beyond that one thing, everything seems to be on the up-and-up. Everyone is allowed to call home, and there are smiles on the faces of everyone we see. Many have waved and enthusiastically welcomed Cassie and I as we moved through the tour.

“This is the heart of the commune,” Adorra tells us as we enter the mansion. “We post all the day’s activities on the board.” I peruse the white board. Todays “activities” include a tantric sex workshop, a wet ’n wild water orgy, and a BDSM demonstration. The last one comes with a trigger warning and kindly urges all members to be sure they are “ready for the heavy” before choosing to attend.

“And you’re in luck! We’re having a naked luau tomorrow night. Come get leid!”

“I’ll pass,” Cassie says, her face going pale. Weird, but I don’t have time to wonder as Adorra pulls us along.

“The kitchen is downstairs and the dining room is for meals,” Adorra continues and I pull my eyes away from the schedule. “We have to eat in waves, of course, as our little family has grown so much. We just ask that you respect the exalted leader’s privacy and stay out of the upstairs area whenever you are in the house.”

“The leader?” I ask.

“Yes, Kama is the founder and benefactor of Together We Come. This house belongs to her. You’ll meet her a little later.” She ushers us to the foyer where there is an old landline phone on an antique side table. A naked man is on the phone, quietly and calmly assuring the person on the other end that he is there of his own free will and he is not, in fact, brainwashed. His penis definitely reacts of its own free will when he spots Cassie and me, his eyes lighting up as well.

One-nighters with randos hasn’t ever appealed to me. I have to actually like someone in order to be attracted to them, so I try to edge my way around his erect penis as we pass him. Attracted to him or not, the guy is blessed and I can’t quite dodge the entire dong. I brush against it and the spell Adorra cast over me must communicate my disinterest to him. He immediately nods and backs away, penis wilting.

Damn. I guess that spell was for real. A girl could get used to this.

Adorra gives us a quick peek into the dining room, and through the window I see quite a few people at the back of the phone line, which means that it wraps around almost the entire building. I guess it’s good I’ve got my communication toothbrush, because there’s no way I’m spending half a day waiting to make a call. One woman and two men decide to pass the time by having sex, right there in line. I’m not in the mood to watch a live-action spit roast, so I try to avert my gaze. Cassie, on the other hand, stares at them with wide-eyed wonder. “So that’s what you do with more than one boy?” she asks, amazed.

“Yes, dear,” Adorra says flippantly. “It’s a great way to explore your own body and desires.”

Another giant dry erase board covers most of one wall in the dining room. One quick glance and I immediately know what it is—a chore chart. And my name—along with Cassie—are already neatly written onto two squares below DINING ROOM CLEAN-UP CREW.

So much for my relaxing spa weekend.

Although, honestly, a little cleaning will be good for clearing my mind. The thing I’m really miffed about is that I only brought my broom. I hate cleaning with other people’s supplies.

“This is the chore chart; everyone here contributes, though we only ask a few hours of your time a day. The rest of the time you are free to do as you will, explore any of our activities, or masturbate quietly in your yurt. It’s totally up to you!”

“Masturbating alone doesn’t really seem to be in the Together We Come spirit,” I observe. “Or your ‘where comes one, so come we all’ motto.”

Adorra gives me an assessing gaze that makes me think maybe I should stop with the questioning. I’m probably coming across as a little too much of a hard sell. But all she says is, “Together We Come does not require us all to synchronize our watches and cry out in ecstasy at the same moment. At its heart, this movement is about love. And that includes self-love.”

“Well, that’s lovely,” I say. And it’s true. I am once again impressed despite myself. It helps that Adorra answers every question calmly and with total authority. It’s definitely not the hippy dippy whoo whoo sales pitch I was expecting.

Adorra nods in agreement. “It is, and I think you’re starting to see that a lot of thought went into how we could make our dream of the perfect loving community truly work for everyone. That’s why whether we’re talking about sex or chores, no one will make you do anything you don’t want to do. You can even switch your work assignment if you don’t want to be on the cleaning crew. The most popular is kitchen duty, preparing meals and such. But that’s all filled up with our long-term members.”

“I want to change my assignment,” Cassie says, hesitantly. She points to an empty square under TOILET CREW. “Maybe here?”

I stare at Cassie, wondering if I should explain to her that scrubbing pots is a whole different world from scrubbing out the crapper. Especially a public one. Adorra tilts her head. “We haven’t toured the bathroom facilities, but I have to warn you, it’s an ongoing issue. Lots of people, not great sewage… We

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