Here Be Dragons - 1 Sharon Penman (paper ebook reader .TXT) 📖

why it is right for me to honor my marriage vows, and wrong for your wife ""This is such an absurd argument, so utterly needless Your pride is tender, love, you see insults where none was intended If you say I your first lover, of course I believe you And in truth, I'm very flattered " He sought to unfasten the catch of her mantle "Do not go, not vet' The mantle slipped from her shoulders, fell to the floor at her feet Stay with me," he said coaxingly"Do you not want to7"'Yes," Joanna confessed "I hate to quarrel But can you not see why I was upset7 I know what we are doing is wrong, cannot pretend otherwise And for all your talk of secret sins, you know it, too, Will If adultery is a sin for your wife, it is no less a sin for me And if""Will you forget about Eva7 I was not saying that Eva is more virtuous than you If her circumstances were like unto yours, she, too, might stray That is all I meant, love, I swear "Joanna was not mollified, for he had inflicted a hurt no less painful for being unintentional "How are my circumstances so different from Eva's7"Ignoring her challenging tone, he put his arms around her, drew her close She stood irresolute for a moment, and then, as his hands slid up from her waist to her breasts, she sighed softly, rested her head against his chest"Well to begin with, your blood runs much hotter than Eva's " He laughed, andJoanna bit her hp to keep from laughing, too"You have a wicked tongue," she chided "A man should not talk so of his wife ""Not even to his mistress7 I do but speak the truth You are more passionate than Eva Fairer to look upon Far more exciting in bed I do not doubt Eva could have been quite content in a nunnery Could you say the same, sweetheart7" he teased, and to his delighted amusement, Joanna actually blushed "No, my love, you could not It's more than a "e, it's a crime against nature to fetter a woman like you to an aging "usband "Joanna wrenched free "How dare you1" Her voice was low, but so or rage that for a moment Will merely stared at her in surprise re ,nna7" He moved toward her, but she backed away, out of(L He'd never seen eyes as green as hers, and he found himself o m§ suddenly of the tales he'd heard of her fabled grandmother, the geous and autocratic Eleanor of Aquitame But he was rapidly hr-

608ing of these displays of Angevin temper. "Now what's wrong? Jesu, but your nerves are on the raw today! I did but speak another truth, that you are wed to a man much older than you. Nigh on twenty years older. 1 am being blunt, but not unkind. A man cannot be blamed for growing old. But neither can a woman for wanting what he can no longer give So what harm if we""You fool!" Joanna all but spat the words. "You vain, boastful fool. You talk so glibly about truths. Let me give you one, then. Yes, Llewelyn is five and fifty and you're but two and thirty. But for all that, he is twice the man you could ever hope to be, in bed or out!""Is he now?" Will had gone rigid, first incredulous and then infuriated. "Then suppose you tell me this. If you're such a satisfied wife, why have I been able to tumble you all week long on the floor of this stinking hafod?"Joanna had begun to tremble. "I do not know," she admitted, sounding not so much angry now as despairing. "God help me, I do not know. But no more. May the Blessed Mary be my witness, no more!"Snatching up her mantle, she whirled, ran from the hafod, ran until she was sobbing for breath, ran until the meadows were misted by a light, warming rain and she saw ahead the distant timbered walls of Llewelyn's manor.JOANNA left Rhosyr that same afternoon, was gone by the time Will returned to the manor. Catherine showed no surprise at her unexpected arrival, welcomed her as if hers was a visit planned long in advance. She found some comfort inCatherine's quiet company, but Catherine could not give her the advice she most needed, could not tell her what to do about Will. Joanna dared not confide in her, could not even risk confessing to her chaplain. Until she could find a way to confess in anonymity, she must live with a mortal sin upon her soul. As frightened as she was at being denied absolution, she was even more fearful of blaspheming her vow. She had sworn to the Blessed Virgin that she would not bed with Will again. And she had to keep that vow. She had betrayed Llewelyn, betrayed herself. She could not betray the Lady Mary, too.But could she trust herself? She must pray for strength, must find it in her to resist temptation. And she must somehow see to it that she and Will were never alone again.JOANNA passed three days at Tregarnedd, returned to Rhosyr with gre reluctance. The sun had been elusive all morning, making weak foraX

609/lej**through the clouds rolling in off the Irish Sea, and by theHn^-hado"dismounted in the manor bailey, she could no longer see), //ie'i$"Have Madlen see to the unpacking, Glynis. I'm Sllt a will not a stitch of work whilst we were gone." Topaz was spr^ jmalnii' her, and Joanna bent down, gathered the whimpering jjttj ^ her arms, absurdly grateful for at least one heartfelt welco,,, "Mama!" 6'heS/l"Davydd?" She straightened up, watched wordlessly /-omelt" hastened toward her. As he'd grown into manhood, he'd'be^ nos*1 and less given to public displays of affection. But he show A reticence now, embraced Joanna warmly.jl, "When did you get