Where We Used to Roam Jenn Bishop (red white royal blue TXT) 📖

was wearing a diaper.” In the back office of Happy Feet, Mom had this framed picture up on the wall of me and Sadie, her best friend’s daughter, who’s around my age. We were holding hands and spinning in the grass. Sadie’s hair was dark brown and short, mine that shade of white blond that’s gone by kindergarten. If you looked close, you could spot the blueberry stains on our shirts and our mouths.

But that picture was from a million years ago. We were just little kids. Mom and Delia, her best friend from college, used to get together more back then. Before our lives got so busy.

“I know it’s been a while, but gosh, at this point Delia’s heard so many stories about you, she feels like she practically knows you, Em. And she’s so excited to have you. They all are. We always talked about a big summer road trip to Wyoming.…”

A family road trip, I wanted to remind her. With all four of us. Not just me, heading out on a plane by myself across the country to spend my summer with three people I barely remembered while everything back home was falling apart. Could I really leave them? Be that far away? What if something bad happened?

I slurped up some froyo, trying to think this all over. “But what about camp?”

Mom’s shoulders shot up as she took in a deep breath. “About that, hon… The timing would be really tricky with everything going on with Austin. It’s smack in the middle of the summer. I know it’s something you and your friends have been looking forward to for so long, but I just…” She hesitated, probably waiting for me to flip my lid.

Sure, it stung, thinking I would miss out on the two weeks at RISD I’d been looking forward to for months. But right now I couldn’t imagine two weeks of nonstop Kennedy. I could still barely look at her after what she did.

This trip, though. It could be my excuse.

“When would I leave?” I asked.

“Ideally on Friday.” She grimaced.

My eyes went wide. “This Friday?”

“It’s sooner than I’d like too, Em, believe me. But the demand for these beds is so high right now. And we’ve got to get Austin in somewhere. If we can get you to Logan Friday morning, we’ll get Austin down to the Cape in time.”

I wanted Austin to get help as soon as possible. “What can I tell Lucy and Kennedy, then? About Austin, I mean.”

“Dad and I still have to figure that out. For now, how about you leave that to us. One of us will give their parents a call in a few days, once we’ve figured out what to say. Do you think you can keep quiet for now? Is that too much to ask?” She rubbed her eye, and for a minute I thought she was going to start crying in public.

“Mom, it’s okay. It’s okay. I won’t say anything. It’s not that hard. Really.” And the truth was, it wouldn’t be. How hard could it be not to tell anyone when I wasn’t really talking to any of them?

Mom’s face crumpled. “You’ve been such a champ the past few days, Em. I really don’t know what Dad and I would do without you.”

I didn’t know what to say to her. A champ? If only she knew who I really was.

For the last day of school, all I could think about was Wyoming. And that was sort of weird because I didn’t know one thing about Wyoming. When I heard the word, I only thought of cowboys and that big national park with the geysers—but was that Yellowstone or Yosemite? I always got them mixed up.

The night before, Mom kept telling me what a blast it’d been when she lived there one summer in college, and it was funny because I couldn’t picture Mom in Wyoming at all. There was too much Boston in her. She’d survived a whole summer without Dunkin’ and the Red Sox and early-morning swims in Walden Pond? Really? If you say so.

During lunch I spent most of the time in Mrs. Dwyer’s office before heading to the cafeteria at the very end of the period. For a second there I thought Kennedy was going to choke on her roll as I slid in across from her.

“I can’t come to the camp anymore,” I said. Though my voice sounded almost robotic, I was surprised by the little pinch that came when I heard those words float out of my mouth. That thing I’d been looking forward to for months was gone. Over. Done.

“Emma, no.” Lucy started to tear up, and for a second I felt so bad I considered pulling her aside to tell her the truth: that it wasn’t up to me.

“I’m going to Wyoming,” robot-me said.

“Just you or your whole family?” Kennedy asked.

“Just me,” I said, whipping that fake smile out of my back pocket. I’d gotten good at using it the past few days, so good I was starting to scare myself. Parroting Mom, I added, “It’s going to be an adventure.” But this time, when I said those words out loud, something strange happened. I almost believed them. “Isn’t that what real artists do? They don’t go to some kids art camp. They go somewhere new and explore, right? Anyway. Just wanted to let you know.”

I got up from the seat, my heartbeat calming down with each step I took away from Kennedy and Lucy. I’d done the hard thing. I’d told them. The tiniest weight had been lifted from my shoulders. And now I was free.

“Emma, wait,” Kennedy said, standing up, her mouth for once completely empty of rolls.

But I was already on my way.

The very next day, Dad would take me to the airport for the flight to Denver. Turns out the tiny airports out west are hard to fly into at the last minute, so Delia and Sadie and maybe even Delia’s husband,