Outlaws Matt Rogers (book recommendations .txt) 📖

wasn’t showing it. But that had never been his style. King knew the man could very well be crumbling internally, and he wouldn’t display a shred of it.

Slater said, ‘I knew you’d come. Let’s talk inside.’

King still had his fist raised like a caricature frozen in ice. He lowered it, then gave a curt nod and stepped into Slater’s apartment.

They didn’t speak. It didn’t feel right, not within the claustrophobic confines of the hallway. Of course, it was an enormous entranceway in comparison to any other apartment in Manhattan, but they were accustomed to the staggering view further within their dwellings. So King followed his closest friend through to the main space. Slater walked right up to the floor-to-ceiling windows and crossed his arms over his chest. He looked out over the city.

Silent.

Pondering.

King pulled to a halt beside the kitchen island and circled behind it, putting a physical barrier between the two of them. He dropped his elbows on the marble and leant his weight on them. He stared at the back of Slater’s neck, as if he could read the man’s mind.

Slater didn’t move. Didn’t so much as budge.

King said, ‘Are you thinking about what you told her?’

Slater didn’t turn around. He said, ‘Did she tell you?’

‘No. But she guessed beforehand. And I think she was right.’

Now, Slater did turn. But he stayed where he was, across the penthouse. Physically distanced from King.

Slater said, ‘What did she guess?’

‘That you wanted out.’

‘Then she was right.’

‘How long ago did you decide?’

‘In Mexico. On the beach.’

‘Don’t you think you’re rushing it?’

Slater hesitated. ‘That’s when I decided. I’d been building up to that decision for months.’

‘Since the blackout?’

Slater shook his head. ‘Since before that. I just didn’t know how to interpret it back then. Because I’d never felt like that before.’

‘Is it because of Alexis?’

Another head shake. ‘She’s someone I can see a life with, after all this … madness. But if I decided for her, it wouldn’t last.’

King put more weight on his elbows. Tried to see through Slater’s eyes, into his soul, but it was like trying to stare through a brick wall.

Slater said, ‘I wasn’t suggesting…’

‘Whether you were or you weren’t, it’s true,’ he said. ‘When I met Klara, nothing else mattered. I lay low on Koh Tao because of her. Even if that’s not what she would have wanted, it’s why I did it. I didn’t fully do it for me.’

‘And that’s why you came back when she died.’

King nodded. ‘If I was out for good, nothing would have brought me back. Definitely not revenge.’

‘But you were avoiding the fight on Koh Tao,’ Slater said. ‘You were hiding from it. That’s not what this is for me.’

King said, ‘It’s the government, then?’

A nod.

Slater said, ‘I can’t keep doing it like this.’

‘Why not?’

‘I just can’t.’

‘I need more than that.’

‘Not really,’ Slater said. ‘You should respect my decision.’

‘We did this together,’ King said, a touch of irritation creeping into his tone. ‘We bought these apartments together. We moved to this city together. It was an agreement. We’d keep each other in the loop.’

Slater didn’t answer.

King said, ‘You go, and I’m on my own. I’m back to solo ops. I’m sure as hell not working with anyone else.’

Slater shrugged. ‘Okay.’

‘That’s it?’

‘I can’t make decisions like this based on your feelings. I’ve been destroying my body for other people my whole life. Sooner or later, I have to take my own needs into consideration.’

‘Of course,’ King said. ‘I’m not going to stop you.’

‘You might have to.’

‘What?’

‘You might have to stop me. You might have to choose.’

King opted for silence, aware that it’d draw an elaboration out of Slater eventually.

Slater said, ‘Violetta practically shit herself when I told her. Then she told me she’s not really in control of anything. None of this is up to her. This is bigger than just the three of us. She’s our handler, but she’s a pawn. So someone else is going to decide whether I’m allowed out or not.’

King could respond a dozen different ways to that. He said, ‘Surely you’re allowed out whenever you want.’

‘That’s what I thought. Apparently not.’

King went quiet.

Slater said, ‘I’m out. Regardless. No matter what they decide. You think Violetta’s going to side with me if I go rogue again?’

Silence.

Slater said, ‘You might have to pick a side.’

‘Don’t make me do that.’

Slater shrugged. ‘You won’t have a choice. Especially considering what you now know.’

‘And what’s that?’

‘That if you want out,’ Slater said. ‘You might not be allowed.’

King didn’t respond.

Because he’d never thought about it.

Now, though…

Now, he sure as hell would think about it.

Slater said, ‘I need some time. You know, to myself. Can we talk this evening?’

King nodded. ‘Sure. What did Violetta tell you?’

‘That she’d vouch for me. But she didn’t promise anything. She couldn’t.’

‘What sort of timeframe are you looking at?’

‘She didn’t say. A couple of days would be my guess. It should be a straightforward yes or no answer.’

‘And then what?’

‘And then I either walk away quietly, or disappear.’

‘Leaving me here.’

Slater stared. ‘It’s your choice to be here. There’s nothing that’s keeping you chained.’

‘Yes,’ King said. ‘There is.’

His home.

His partner.

His whole life.

He registered Slater’s withdrawal from the conversation, and made for the door with a nod of farewell.

They both needed time apart.

To think.

To digest.

To ponder.

He reached the door, stepped out, and shut it behind him.

26

Slater had never wanted a drink so badly in his life.

The urge rose up out of nowhere, as soon as King left him alone. It gnawed at him, and he couldn’t escape it. No amount of pacing around his apartment could shed the cloud hanging over him. It was the last thing he’d been anticipating. He could barely focus on forming a plan for going rogue, if that’s what was required. All he could think about was racing to the nearest bar, ordering a double shot of whiskey, and throwing it back.

Instead, he called Alexis.

She answered fast and said, ‘Is everything okay?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘How did it go?’

‘Hard to say.’

‘So not great.’

‘Not terrible, either. Violetta’s on