Conner's Contrary Bride Barbara Goss (books to read in a lifetime .txt) 📖

Conner smiled. “They should be there already.  We need to take a ride out there soon and check it out.”

When they finished eating, they carried their plates to the sink and put the left-over food in the root cellar.

Conner clapped his hands together. “I think we’re done here. I’m feeling very tired. How about you?”

Elsie faked a yawn. “Yes. I think turning in early is a great idea.”

Conner carried an oil lamp to his room. “Did you move your things into my room like I asked?”

“I did.”

“So, now it’s our room.”

They walked into their room hand in hand and closed the door.

Once inside, Conner took Elsie into his arms. “I love you so much I’m bursting with it.”

Elsie smiled. “Show me.”

When Elsie awoke, Conner’s side of the bed was empty, but he’d left a note on his pillow. She picked it up and read: “I love you, darling wife.” Elsie smiled. Their marriage was now real, and she felt truly and thoroughly loved, but one thing bothered her: Conner had refused to leave his seed in her. He’d made sure of it, even during their torrid passion. It just didn’t seem natural. She wanted to be a mother. How could she persuade him to relent on that?

Conner continued with their love-making, but he never released his seed in her, and she felt saddened each time.

She was sitting on a large stump in the yard one Sunday afternoon when Bertie returned from her weekly visit with Hazel, and she joined her.

“How’s Miss Hazel doing?”

“She’s much better. We went for a walk today. She’s gotten good with her cane.” Bertie touched Elsie’s chin and pulled it toward her. “All right—what’s wrong? Did you and Conner have a spat?”

“Oh, no. Far from it, Bertie. We’re so much in love.”

Bertie studied her. “Something’s amiss. Is there a problem with your new home?”

Elsie shook her head and put on her best forced smile. “It’s nearly ready to move into. I think we’ll be moving in a month or so.  Adding the dining room slowed things down—but we’re in no hurry.”

“What’s bothering you, then?”

“Bertie,” Elsie blurted quickly before she’d lost her nerve, “Conner doesn’t want to have children, and I want them so badly.”

“I see. Hmm… that can certainly be a problem. Usually, couples discuss these things before marriage but, of course, the way you two married, it was impossible. You did add to your questionnaire that you wanted children, didn’t you?”

“Yes. Ever since I played with dolls as a child, I couldn’t wait to become a mother.”

Bertie rubbed her temple. “Oh, dear.”

“What, Bertie?”

“I think it may be because of Mary.”

“Mary?”

“She died in childbirth. Maybe he is afraid of losing you, too.”

Elsie knew at that moment that Bertie was right. “I thought it was me, that he perhaps didn’t love me enough to want to have children with me. It never dawned on me it might be just the opposite: he loves me too much to allow me to have a baby, and he’s afraid of losing me. What should I do, Bertie?”

“I don’t have an answer for you, but I wish I did. If I didn’t know how stubborn Conner could be, I’d suggest you convince him that something like that happening twice is nearly impossible, but he’d never buy that.”

“I see how good he is with our children patients. He loves them, and he is so patient with them.”

Bertie took a stray piece of hair from Elsie’s face and tucked it behind her ear. “I shouldn’t say this—I was told to never give marital advice, especially since my husband left me for the gold fields twenty years ago, so what do I know about marriage?—but didn’t you tell me once, when we were polishing the silver, that you had a bad temper?”

“I’ve been known to explode occasionally.” Elsie chuckled.

“Maybe—just maybe—Conner needs you to explode. Get angry.”

“I am angry, Bertie. I just love him too much to start an argument with him. I could never hurt him. He’s been so good to me, and he loves me. How could I get angry with him for loving me too much to want to see me die in childbirth?”

Bertie shrugged. “Just like a pot of water boils so hard it flips its lid, sometimes people need to let off steam and have a good argument to settle things.”

Conner turned over in bed after having made sweet love to his wife. He wanted more than anything to make their lovemaking complete, but he couldn’t risk it. Women died in childbirth all the time, and usually with their first child. He never thought he’d love again, but this time, it was different. He loved his wife with an intensity he’d never known before.

He felt Elsie toss restlessly beside him. He’d always snuggled with her afterward, but this time, he felt like he was cheating his wife out of loving her properly.

Conner turned and took Elsie in his arms. “I’m sorry, Elsie.”

Elsie gazed up at him in the moonlight. “Why did you turn your back on me after we made love?”

“Because I’m ashamed of the way I have to do it. It’s not something I want to do. I’d give anything to... well, it just can’t be.” He stroked her cheek. “I never thought, when I first met you, that I’d feel the way I do about you. You’ve wormed your sweet way into my heart.” He kissed her forehead. “You don’t realize how much you mean to me.”

“Is it because I saved your life?”

“No, because I saved yours when Frank attacked you. When I was sick, you nursed me and never left me—even when I vomited all over you.”

They both laughed.

Elsie squeezed his hand. “Do you