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there, but she didn’t want to leave me with strangers. I sat on a stool in the wings and read. She could see me from the stage. We were okay.’

‘Then what happened?’

‘When I was about twelve, she sent me to live with my grandparents. She said I needed to go to school, that I was too bright to be held back by her lifestyle. She wanted more for me.’

Ash’s expression remained serious. ‘Did you know your grandparents before you went to live with them?’

‘My mother was young when she had me.’ Heat built in her cheeks. ‘Very young. They didn’t want her to keep me. In the end she left home before I was born. They didn’t approve of her choices but she was hardworking and she did everything she could to give me the best.’

‘Did they approve of you? Of your choices?’

‘Well...’ She half smiled. ‘My grandmother was determined I wouldn’t make the same choices my mother had.’ She’d lectured Merle about her mother’s ‘downfall’ so many times. She’d been so controlling, so strict. But Merle had swallowed back the rebellion and resentment and she’d stayed silent. Knowing again that she had to, to survive.

‘How did that determination play out?’

Merle’s smiled twisted sadly. Ash was too astute—honing in on the most vulnerable angles in her answers.

‘She could yell. A lot. It was best to be quiet. Fortunately I was good at that.’

Be silent, be good, be as unseen as possible. Even though she’d hated having to do so. Hated not being able to stand up for her mother. The one time she’d spoken up, she’d suffered a horrible slap-down. Literally. A punishment that had gone on far in excess of what her ‘crime’ had deserved. But now she shrugged the worst memories off.

‘She lectured for hours. She wanted to control my every minute. So I tried to stay out of her way, out of sight really. I tried not to cause any trouble and not give her anything to be disappointed about.’

Her grandmother hadn’t realised how hellish school was for Merle—there was no danger of her falling in with a ‘bad crowd’, because no crowd was interested in Merle.

Ash’s frown didn’t lessen at all. ‘Where was your grandfather?’

‘Out in the garage. He was a second-hand goods trader and he had a garage and shed full of everything you could possibly imagine. The safest, easiest way to avoid my grandmother was to be with him. I went with him to all the markets.’ He’d given her safe haven from her grandmother. And from school.

‘But he didn’t stop your grandmother from shouting at you?’

‘He did by taking me with him,’ Merle countered. ‘And when I was home I studied in my room. I did chores without question.’ She looked at him and saw he still didn’t understand. ‘She wasn’t well,’ she whispered.

‘So you had to be quiet and out of sight your entire childhood,’ he said grimly.

It hurt, even though it was true. ‘You’re awfully good at judging.’

‘Maybe.’ He leaned over and looked into her eyes. ‘You’re awfully good at making excuses for all three of them.’

Her heart stuttered. ‘They were the only family I had,’ she answered simply.

‘That I do understand.’ His lips twisted in a gentle smile. ‘So they were? What happened?’

She’d known he was going to ask but it was still hard to articulate. Her voice would hardly work. ‘When Mum was on tour in Australia there was a fire at the lodge. They didn’t have batteries in the fire alarms and they didn’t have an up-to-date guest list. She died of smoke inhalation before they realised she was still in the building.’

She knew Ash was looking at her but she couldn’t meet his eyes. She never spoke about this. Most of the time she tried not to even remember it.

‘I’m sorry, Merle.’

She nodded mutely, her throat too tight for sound to emerge.

‘You could’ve been there too,’ he said softly.

She coughed. ‘I know.’ She’d stayed at that same lodge several times before the move to her grandparents’. ‘I was a light sleeper as a kid,’ she whispered. ‘Maybe if I’d been there I would’ve heard something, maybe I’d have woken. Maybe I could have saved her.’ She dreamed she had sometimes. Then she’d wake and remember the worst was real.

For a moment there was silence. But it wasn’t strained, it was oddly connecting.

‘I was devastated when my mother died,’ Ash said gruffly, looking out across the water. ‘Even though I knew it was coming, it wrecked me.’

His quiet admission devastated something within Merle.

‘She had a heart condition all of her life,’ he said. ‘I always wished I could’ve done something about it even when I knew I couldn’t.’

Merle’s heart ached at the guilt echoing in his voice.

So he was human. He wasn’t always supremely confident, floating through life with bulletproof, brilliant ease. He had hurts too. She’d known that. And whatever had happened with his father had cemented his slide into rebellion. It wasn’t that he didn’t care. Maybe it was because he cared an awful lot? And he didn’t want to.

‘How old were you?’ she asked.

‘Eighteen, at the end of my final year of school.’ He frowned and looked back at her, that alert curiosity lighting his eyes once more. ‘How was school for you—when you finally went?’

‘Horrendous. I was never going to be popular like you.’ She laughed a little sadly. ‘And don’t even try to tell me you weren’t. People can’t cope with someone being a bit different and I was very different. I’d never been to school, I had no clue how to play the social clique game...’ She broke off.

‘So how did you survive?’

‘The same way as always. Stay quiet. Stay unseen. Sometimes it’s better not to be noticed.’

‘Merle—’

‘Most of the time I succeeded,’ she interrupted before he could contradict her.

It was easy to be invisible. Easy to avoid eye contact. Easy to avoid answering calls and replying to emails. Easy to be forgotten about.

‘Most of the time?’

He’d heard the wistful edge of

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