Jase Fields, J. (best time to read books TXT) 📖

had picked up the phone that day to text or call her, but it was definitely more than I would ever admit. I knew where I fucked up. But it wasn’t because I was trying to lie to her. At the airport we should have talked. Instead of letting her drag me into the bathroom I should have been stronger and said no and finished the story.

But who the fuck am I kidding? Carly on her knees, sucking me off was not something I would have expected out of her in a million years. Watching her lips wrap around me, taking as much as she could still caused my fucking jeans to shrink. I was never one to take without giving at least a little something in return, but there wasn’t time. I’m so pissed at myself right now for not getting her off. I’m sure that’ll be a topic at book club in the near future, FUCK!

I sat in my room at the shop, waiting for my last appointment until I could go pick Little Bell up from school. When she and I were together, everything was cool. She was so much fun, so inquisitive about everything and looking at her, absolutely reminded me of when times were much easier. Mom had asked me once if it hurt to look at Bella. If the loss of Charlee came back. It didn’t, having her in my life made the loss less painful.

When the whole family ate dinner a few weeks ago to celebrate my best friend Abe’s graduation from the NYU MBA program, Little Bell brought up Carly. Abe didn’t even react and it had never been discussed. Bella mentioned the similarity between the pictures of her Momma and Carly and my brothers all shifted uncomfortably at the same time. When I tucked her in and she fell asleep I walked into the living room expecting all hell to break loose. Abe and I stared at each other and I was ready to take whatever ass whooping I had coming. I would never fight Abe, so I just simply asked he not touch my face so I didn’t have to explain it to my daughter. Abe laughed and so did my brothers. The discussion about the similarities continued which pissed me off. The mention that Charlee and Carly’s names sounding alike infuriated me. Then how young Carly seemed and the age that Charlee died. I left the room pissed, and went to bed without even saying goodnight to any of them.

The day we walked into court two years ago we had what was thought to be the best lawyer’s around. I was in my last semester in line to earn my undergraduate degree in business with a concentration on international business at NYU, with an SAT score of six hundred and ninety, I was given a full ride and had already been approved for the MBA program. That’s where I’d met Abe, my best friend. When we lost, due to the fact that they had moved Bella without anyone even knowing to Colorado, we had nothing left to fight with. I gave up on school and on life. Drinking, smoking, and fucking anything I could get my hands on. When Dad died it was no better. That’s where Pam came in the picture. One drunk night she held my head out of the toilet at a party and fucked me stupid. When I woke up on the floor of her bedroom in a McMansion in a posh neighborhood, I remembered nothing except that Pam was Charlee’s best friend. I showered and was ready to leave when she pulled out a photo album full of pictures of my Little Bell. My heart pounded so hard, it felt like it was going to explode. Looking at all of the pictures: the Christmas’s, Birthday’s, every fucking holiday and special event in her life, broke me. Pam was the closest thing to Charlee and Bella that I could get my hands on. I was her dirty secret off and on for months. Her big shot Columbia boyfriend hung out with her at school all day, and when he wasn’t around she and I fucked like monkeys all night. When I ended it, it was cool… but then I’d see her at a party, and she would always share something about my daughter. She broke up with her boy, whose name I never even knew, and for two years we played that game. Whenever I had enough-- she wanted more. I used her, without a doubt. But she did the same. We’d discussed it when I got the call and I told her I would not take Bella out of her life as long as she respected my boundaries and so far she had. But how the hell would I get that to fly with Carly?

Abe, God he was going to be pissed. Abe and I talked the day after he found out about Carly and I. He had asked if that was why I had started taking classes again. It wasn’t, I wanted more for Bella, my Mom, and now Charlotte as well. I only had two more classes and I would graduate. He promised not to mention Carly and I promised that I wouldn’t hurt her. I’d broken that promise. I had hurt her and then I lashed out at her knowing I had brought it all on myself.

I walked out into the hall and up to the reception desk and sat down. When the phone rang I answered it. I listened to the man with a thick Italian accent inform me who he was, and that Isabella Segreti De Luca had passed away. They were looking for Josephina Steel and her children. I jotted down all the information I was given and gave him my personal number. Antonio Rossi was my Grandmothers lawyer, and he would be waiting for my return call.

I looked up as Cyrus walked in, “Shit man, Frankie cancelled.