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while she had a rub down with the flannel. Jess helped her dry the hard to reach bits, then slipped her nightdress over her raised arms. Alice wriggled to allow the nightie to fall down over her frail body, then she sat on the bed and applied her hand and face cream that she kept in the drawer at her bedside.

Jess offered to put the cosmetic items back into the drawer for her but Alice refused. ‘I’ll see to it,’ she said, firmly.

When Alice requested a glass of water, Jess took the washing items back to the kitchen and returned with a tall glass, half filled. She placed it on the overbed table and helped Alice climb into bed before sliding the table across.

‘Are you going to read tonight, Nana?’ she asked, picking up the book that lay on top of her bedside cabinet.

‘No, thank you, Jessica. As you’re here, I thought we’d just chat for a while.’

Jess noticed Alice take a quick glance at her bedside drawer.

‘Oh, I haven’t cleaned my teeth, yet,’ Alice said suddenly. ‘My brush and toothpaste will be in the kitchen cupboard I expect. Gwen keeps them out there somewhere.’

Jess got to her feet and went to search for the items. Gwen had left them on the work surface near the microwave along with a small, Pyrex bowl, presumably for Alice to spit the residue into.

When she returned to the lounge, Alice was leaning over the side of the bed desperately trying to get hold of something she’d dropped on the floor.

‘I’ll get that, Nana, don’t you go falling out of bed trying to pick it up.’

Alice flapped her hands at the fallen object a couple of times before leaning back into her pillows with a resigned sigh.

Jess put the teeth cleaning equipment onto the overbed table and bent down to retrieve whatever it was that Alice was trying to recover.

‘Nana!’ Jess read the label on the box of tablets that Alice had dropped. ‘Sleeping tablets? And they were issued last year: they could even be out of date.’ She slipped the foil strip out of the box. There were only a few pills left. ‘Are you having trouble sleeping? I thought you said you dropped off easily at night.’

‘I do, that’s the trouble,’ replied Alice. ‘I go to sleep and the first thing I see is that dreadful tunnel with those ghostly hands reaching out towards me. They’re coming to take me, Jessica, but I don’t want to go, not until I’ve finished my story. I don’t want to go with the person that’s waiting for me either.’

‘These tablets are no good for you, Nana,’ said Jess, reading part of the leaflet that came with the tablets. ‘It says not to be used long-term.’

‘Come on, Jessica,’ said Alice with a frown. ‘I don’t have a long term. I could start smoking forty cigarettes a day and it wouldn’t have a detrimental effect on my longevity. I had one last night, and I’d like to keep taking them until they’re all gone.’

‘But why, Nana, if you can sleep anyway?’

‘When I take these, I don’t dream,’ said Alice quietly. ‘I just go to sleep then wake up in the morning. There’s no tunnel, no arms reaching out to pull me into it and no one calling my name, trying to trick me into venturing inside.’ Her eyes closed and tears ran down her cheeks. ‘Please give them to me, Jessica. I’m sure I’ll die in my sleep if I don’t take one. I’m so frightened.’

Jess sat on the edge of the bed and gently eased Alice towards her. She held her close for a minute until her body had stopped shaking, then she popped out one of the tablets and picked up the glass of water.

‘There you are, Nana. No bad dreams tonight.’

When Alice had settled down, Jess went to the kitchen again and came back with two steaming mugs of milky cocoa.

She handed one carefully to Alice, then went back to her seat on the sofa.

‘How long do the pills take to work, Nana?’

‘Half an hour or so,’ Alice replied. She held the mug in both hands and sipped at the cocoa. ‘What shall we talk about in the meantime?’

‘Anything you like,’ replied Jess. ‘There isn’t enough time for another excerpt from your story, that will have to wait until tomorrow.’ She thought for a moment. ‘I, I, erm, I would like to know why there’s so much hostility towards you in the family. If you don’t mind discussing it that is.’

‘I don’t mind at all, Jessica. It’s about time you heard my side of the story. You’ve only ever heard theirs. What have you been told?’

‘Only that you refused to help Mum and Dad out of a mess when they came begging for your help. I’ve never believed it though.’

‘It’s partly true,’ replied Alice. ‘I’ll explain it all shortly.’ She took another sip of cocoa. ‘What about my children, Martha and Marjorie?’

‘Gran and Marjorie have never had a good word to say about you in all the time I’ve known them,’ Jess replied, thoughtfully. ‘Marjorie always seems to agree with whatever Grandma Martha says.’

‘She always has. Martha dominated her from the day she was born and there was only a couple of years between them,’ said Alice.

‘So, how did all the bad feeling start?’ asked Jess.

Chapter 35

Alice

Martha disliked me from the day she was born. She took one look at me when she came out and screamed the house down. She didn’t stop screaming until the midwife took her off me. Once she was handed back, she screamed again. I think she’d been listening in when I told Frank I didn’t want the baby. She was fine with him by the way. Night time feeds were easy for me. He had to do it or she wouldn’t drink.

Right from feed one, she decided that my breasts weren’t suitable. We even tried to syphon the milk out of them and feed her in

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