Quit Bein' Ugly Vale, Lynn (popular books of all time .txt) 📖

pieces now, and I swear to God, you’re going to pop here in a second.”

“One day, when you’re finally pregnant with Croft’s love child, you’ll understand,” Raleigh teased. “I’d just like to point out, though, that Croft is against girls. He thinks that they’re a waste of space.”

I turned to look at my sister. “I said that you were a waste of space. I would never say that about my own kid.” I paused, turning my gaze to Carmichael. “And I definitely see the good in having Carmichael around. Camryn’s not too bad, either, now that she’s hooked up with Flint.”

“I’m not a waste of space!” Raleigh leaned forward and poked me. Right in the bad shoulder.

I hadn’t been expecting it, so I hadn’t thought to brace myself.

So my eyes watered when she did it.

“Hey!” Carmichael threw her empty bottle at Raleigh’s head.

And Raleigh, being Raleigh, didn’t catch it. It slipped through her hands and knocked her right in the nose. The same nose that’d been hurt earlier when Alfie the dick tried to do whatever it was he was trying to do.

“Owwww!” she cried. “Owwww!”

Carmichael leaned back into my body and said, “Sorry. I really honestly thought you would catch it.”

Raleigh gave her the middle finger.

“I just hope you know, I bled all over your keyboard earlier, and now I’m going to bleed all over your couch.” Raleigh groaned nasally.

“What are you talking about?” I asked as I picked up a stray pepperoni out of the pizza box and put it into my mouth.

“I was using the computer that you gave Carmichael. Luckily, I was able to hack into it based on all of your old passwords. I had to submit a giveaway to win a four-day cruise around Alaska.” She paused. “I bled all over the keys. Completely forgot about it until now.”

“Where is it?” I asked curiously.

I hadn’t seen the computer anywhere.

She pursed her lips and got up, walking out onto the front porch.

“Well…” She hesitated. “Maybe one of y’all picked it up? It was on the porch. I hate to admit this, but I dropped it. It probably doesn’t work anymore.”

All of us got up to look for it except Camryn, who was complaining about how full she was.

“I don’t see it,” I finally said. “Let me search for it using the app I have with work.”

I pulled out the app and searched for the computer.

Honestly, I was surprised that I still had it, seeing as I didn’t use the computer anymore. All the information on it, other than a few personal items, had been wiped.

“That doesn’t look like it’s here.”

I looked at the blinking dot on my app.

“Nope, it sure doesn’t.”

CHAPTER 16

You’re my favorite thing to do.

-Coffee Cup

CROFT

“The address is listed as a rental property. Owners are in Hawaii for the month.” Flint paused. “They said that they rented it out to a young woman that’s a lawyer.”

Carmichael started to laugh.

“It’s fuckin’ Karen, isn’t it?” she chortled. “Oh, God. That would make this just perfect. You’ve been working with her for freakin’ months now. And she stole your computer. How did she even get here to do that? Nobody saw her.”

We all looked at her.

“How do you know it’s Karen?” I asked curiously.

“Who else could it be?” Carmichael asked.

She did have a point.

“Well, let’s go,” I said to Flint.

Flint gestured to the door. “Let’s go.”

Carmichael stood, too, and I shook my head. “No.”

“Why not?” she asked. “I won’t get out!”

“Because you’re not trained for this?” I suggested.

“Trained for what? Dealing with hos?” she countered. “Let me point out here that you’re shot. You can’t even run right now.”

“I could if my life depended on it,” I hedged.

It would hurt, but I’d do it.

“Maybe you should stay here, too,” Flint suggested.

I sighed. “I’ll stay. But you’ll take backup?”

“Call your cop buddies,” Carmichael suggested. “Someone that can protect your ugly mug.”

Flint rolled his eyes and left, leaving us all to sit there and wait for news on who it actually was that had stolen the computer.

And why.

Because that was what I was more interested in.

Even if someone did have the computer, it would take a lot for them to get into it.

I had a feeling that was why Alfie had been there—or attacked, so to speak. He’d seen Raleigh with the computer and had wanted it. He’d fought for it, thinking my sister would be easy pickings. Only, Raleigh had grown up with Gavin and I beating on her for fun.

Then, later, when Gavin wasn’t there, we’d taken our frustration out on each other. Not always in the form of fists, but sometimes it was. Not that I’d ever hurt her or anything, but I definitely didn’t allow her to be a little bitch.

“Now that the loser is gone,” Carmichael stood up and walked to the kitchen, coming back with individual pints of Blue Bell ice cream. “Let’s have dessert.”

Camryn started to snicker. “He loves Blue Bell.”

“I know,” she said. “I just don’t like it when he loves my Blue Bell. He’s a Blue Bell hog. And I’ll share one with each of you, but no more than that.”

She handed me a pint of vanilla ice cream, and even though I shouldn’t, I did anyway.

It was the best thing I’d had all day.

Until later that night, that was.

CHAPTER 17

Every time you yawn, a ghost puts his dick in your mouth.

-Text from Carmichael to Flint

CARMICHAEL

“What did he say?” Raleigh asked as they were walking out the door later that evening.

“He said that they picked the computer up, but Karen was nowhere to be seen. Even though it was, indeed, her residence. They have an APB out for her arrest, and the order to bring her in if she’s found. Until then, they’re working on what they can,” Croft answered as he walked slowly to the door.

He’d been moving well earlier, but as the day had worn on, he’d quickly become more and more fatigued.

He could put on a good show, but the sad truth