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mine. I can’t help but feel this proposal springs from guilt. I think your guilt over what happened to your sister is coloring your views on what’s important to the baby. You insist on keeping Mercy rather than letting her be raised by a family
”

“But I am her family!”

“Nein, you’re her uncle who has a living to make and can’t take care of an infant on your own. You’re doing the best you can, but it’s impossible to care for the needs of a baby while you work a farm.”

“But wouldn’t marrying me solve that problem?”

“Marriage is permanent. It’s a lifelong commitment. There would be no going back. That’s a lot to ask of me.”

“Jane.” Levy placed a hand on her arm, and his voice was gentle. “Are you saying you have no feelings for me?”

She stared at his hand and her throat thickened. “I
 I don’t know,” she stammered. “All I know is men don’t look at me twice because I’m plain. To suddenly believe you want to marry me for anything else besides a built-in nanny is hard for me to comprehend.” Tears welled up in her eyes.

He tipped her chin up so her eyes met his. “You keep thinking you’re plain, and I don’t understand why. You’ve never been plain to me.”

Coming from any other man, Jane wouldn’t have believed that statement. But with Levy
well, it was possible he spoke truly. She knew she had fostered respect from him through the summer. Could it have grown into something more?

She stepped back and broke contact, though her skin tingled where he had touched her. “Levy, this is so sudden. I can’t give you an answer yet.”

“Then think about it. Tomorrow is the Sabbath. Let Gott guide your thinking, and we can talk on Monday.”

“Ja. Gut.” She backed up another step, suddenly desperate to get away. “Then I’ll leave Mercy to you. Gude nacht, Levy.” She turned and fled.

* * *

Her footsteps pounded in her ears as she walked home. She felt a need to talk things over with her aunt. She needed the calm, levelheaded advice of the older woman to get over this hurdle.

Walking into her aunt and uncle’s house, she found them sitting in the living room with newspapers. “Tante Catherine, can I talk to you?” Her voice sounded strained even to her own ears.

Her relatives raised their heads. Uncle Peter looked at her face and rose from his chair. “I just remembered I have some work that needs doing in the barn.” He left the room. Jane made a mental note to thank him later.

“You’re white as a sheet,” observed Catherine. “Sit down, child, and tell me what happened.”

Jane sat down and promptly burst into tears.

Catherine handed her a handkerchief and stayed quiet while Jane continued to cry.

“Tell me what happened, liebling,” she said after the storm had passed and Jane wiped her cheeks dry.

“Levy asked me to marry him,” Jane blurted out.

Catherine’s eyebrows shot up into her hairline. “What!”

“That was pretty much my reaction. Essentially he wants a built-in nanny-housekeeper for Mercy, and this was the most logical, rational solution he could think of.”

“Did this happen just out of the blue?”

“Ja.” Jane toyed with the handkerchief. “And
and I don’t know what to do. I don’t understand why he thought I would agree to a one-sided marriage
”

Catherine snapped her head up. “One-sided?”

Jane fell silent.

“One-sided?” persisted her aunt. “What do you mean, one-sided?”

Jane heaved a shuddering sigh. “Just what I said. I’ve fallen in love with Levy—and the baby as well—but I don’t know that I want to accept a marriage proposal when he doesn’t return the sentiment.”

“Oh SchĂ€tzchen. No wonder you’re so upset. Here he could be offering you the moon and the stars, if only the sentiment was behind them.”

“Ja. Exactly. Oh, Tante, what should I do?” The tears started again. “To Levy, I’m just another ‘useful’ person, just like I was with Isaac. Why don’t men see me as a woman? Why am I always nothing more than a tool?”

“Are you sure he has no feelings for you? Levy’s aware of the commitment behind a marriage. Surely he wouldn’t propose if he didn’t feel some affection for you?”

“He says he does, but I don’t know that I believe him.”

Catherine raised her eyebrows. “Why wouldn’t you believe him?”

“Look at me. I’m as plain as a box of nails. Levy is a handsome man. He could ask any woman in this town to marry him, and stand an excellent chance she’d say yes. Why should he love someone like me?”

Catherine’s voice grew stern. “Jane, stop it. You’ve always doubted your worth, all because you’ve been comparing yourself to your friend after she married Isaac. You’ve got your own type of beauty, and you’re nowhere near as plain as you seem to think. And Levy has worked closely with you for months now. Don’t you think he’s smart enough to see what’s inside you?”

“I
”

“But you don’t believe him.”

“Maybe that’s the problem. I don’t believe him. I don’t believe anyone like Levy would want to marry me.”

“You’re being a fool, Jane.” Catherine’s voice was firm.

The verbal slap was exactly what Jane needed. She raised her head and looked at her aunt. “Do you honestly think it’s worth accepting Levy?”

“I honestly think it’s worth considering. Believe it or not, geliebte, that may not be a bad way to start a marriage. You’re good with the baby, that’s why he needs you. I’m not saying you should accept his proposal, but nor should you necessarily dismiss it as hopeless. Happy marriages have been built on far less in our community.”

“But unhappy marriages have been built that way too.”

“Ja, sure. But would you truly be unhappy with Levy? He’s a gut man.”

“I agree. And I don’t know.” Jane stared at the floorboards at her feet, pleating the damp handkerchief, her mind churning. “I guess you’re right,” she said at last. “If I have any consolation, I imagine Levy is going through similar mental turmoil. And he has no one to

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