Manners and Social Usages by Mrs John M. E. W. Sherwood (great book club books TXT) 📖

questions often bring out what Margaret Fuller called

“good talk.”

 

But if your neighbor says “Oh,” “Really,” “Indeed,” “I don’t know,”

then the best way is to be purely practical, and talk of the chairs

and tables, and the existing order of things, the length of trains,

or the shortness of the dresses of the young ladies at the last

ball, the prevailing idea that “ice-water is unhealthy,” and other

such extremely easy ideas. The sound of one’s own voice is generally

very sweet in one’s own ears; let every lady try to cultivate a

pleasant voice for those of other people, and also an agreeable and

accurate pronunciation. The veriest nothings sound well when thus

spoken. The best way to learn how to talk is, of course, to learn

how to think: from full wells one brings up buckets full of clear

water, but there can be small-talk without much thought. The fact

remains that brilliant thinkers and scholars are not always good

talkers, and there is no harm in the cultivation of the art of

conversation, no harm in a little “cramming,” if a person is afraid

that language is not his strong point. The merest trifle generally

suffices to start the flow of small-talk, and the person who can use

this agreeable weapon of society is always popular and very much

courted.

 

CHAPTER XXXIX. GARDEN-PARTIES.

 

Many of our correspondents ask us, “What shall we order for a

garden-party?” We must answer that the first thing to order is a

fine day. In these fortunate days the morning revelations of Old

Probabilities give us an almost exact knowledge of what of rain or

sunshine the future has in store.

 

A rain or tornado which starts from Alaska, where the weather is

made nowadays, will almost certainly be here on the third day; so

the hostess who is willing to send a hasty bidding can perhaps avoid

rain. It is the custom, however, to send invitations for these

garden-parties a fortnight before they are to occur. At Newport they

are arranged weeks beforehand, and if the weather is bad the

entertainment takes place in-doors.

 

When invitations are given to a suburban place to which people are

expected to go by rail or any public means of conveyance, a card

should also be sent stating the hours at which trains leave, which

train or boat to take, and any other information that may add to the

comfort of the guest. These invitations are engraved, and printed on

notepaper, which should be perfectly plain, or bear the family

crest in water-mark only, and read somewhat as follows:

 

_Mr. and Mrs. Edwin Smith request the pleasure of Mr. and Mrs.

Conway Brown’s company on Tuesday, the thirtieth of July, at four

o’clock.

 

Garden Party. Yonkers, New York._

 

Then, on the card enclosed, might be printed,

 

Carriages will meet the 3.30 train from Grand Central Depot.

 

If the invitation is to a country place not easy of access, still

more explicit directions should be given.

 

The garden-party proper is always held entirely in the open air. In

England the refreshments are served under a marquee in the

grounds, and in that inclement clime no one seems to think it a

hardship if a shower of rain comes down, and ruins fine silks and

beautiful bonnets. But in our fine sunshiny land we are very much

afraid of rain, and our malarious soil is not considered always

safe, so that the thoughtful hostess often has her table in-doors,

piazzas filled with chairs, Turkey rugs laid down on the grass, and

every preparation made that the elderly and timid and rheumatic may

enjoy the garden-party without endangering their health.

 

A hostess should see that her lawn-tennis ground is in order, the

croquet laid out, and the archery tools all in place, so that her

guests may amuse themselves with these different games. Sometimes

balls and races are added to these amusements, and often a platform

is laid for dancing, if the turf be not sufficiently dry. A band of

musicians is essential to a very elegant and successful garden-party, and a varied selection of music, grave and gay, should be

rendered. Although at a dinner-party there is reason to fear that an

orchestra may be a nuisance, at a garden-party the open air and

space are sufficient guarantees against this danger.

 

If the hostess wishes her entertainment to be served out-of-doors,

of course all the dishes must be cold. Salads, cold birds, and ham,

tongue, and p�t� de foie gras, cold p�t�s, and salmon dressed

with a green sauce, jellies, Charlottes, ices, cakes, punch, and

champagne, are the proper things to offer. A cup of hot tea should

be always ready in the house for those who desire it.

 

At a garden-party proper the hostess receives out on the lawn,

wearing her hat or bonnet, and takes it for granted that the party

will be entirely out-of-doors. The carriages, however, drive up to

the door, and the ladies can go upstairs and deposit their wraps

and brush off the dust, if they wish. A servant should be in

attendance to show the guests to that part of the grounds in which

the lady is receiving.

 

At Newport these parties are generally conducted on the principle of

an afternoon tea, and after the mistress of the house has received

her guests, they wander through the grounds, and, when weary, return

to the house for refreshment. P�t� de foie gras, sandwiches, cold

birds, plates of delicious jellied tongue, lobster salad, and

sometimes hot cakes and hot broiled chicken, are served at these

high teas. Coffee and tea and wine are also offered, but these are

at mixed entertainments which have grown out of the somewhat unusual

hours observed at Newport in the season.

 

There is a sort of public garden-party in this country which

prevails on semi-official occasions, such as the laying of a

foundation-stone for a public building, the birthday of a prominent

individual, a Sunday-school festival, or an entertainment given to a

public functionary. These are banquets, and for them the invitations

are somewhat general, and should be officially issued. For the

private garden-party it is proper for a lady to ask for an

invitation for a friend, as there is always plenty of room; but it

should also be observed that where this request is not answered

affirmatively, offence should not be taken. It is sometimes very

difficult for a lady to understand why her request for an invitation

to her friend is refused; but she should never take the refusal as a

discourtesy to herself. There may be reasons which cannot be

explained.

 

Ladies always wear bonnets at a garden-party, and the sensible

fashion of short dresses has hitherto prevailed; but it is rumored

that a recent edict of the Princess of Wales against short dresses

at her garden-parties will find followers on this side of the water,

notably at Newport, which out-Herods Herod in its respect to English

fashions.

 

Indeed, a long dress is very pretty on the grass and under the

trees. At Buckingham Palace a garden-party given to the Viceroy of

Egypt several years ago presented a very Watteau-like picture.

Worth’s handsomest dresses were freely displayed, and the lovely

grounds and old trees at the back of the palace were in fine full

dress for the occasion.

 

In fact, England is the land for garden-parties, with its turf of

velvet softness, its flowing lime-trees, its splendid old oaks, and

its finished landscape gardening. There are but few places as yet in

America which afford the clipped-box avenues, the arcades of

blossoming rose-vines, the pleached alleys, the finely kept and

perfect gravel-walks, or, Better than all, the quiet, old-fashioned

gardens, down which the ladies may walk, rivals of the flowers.

 

But there are some such places; and a green lawn, a few trees, a

good prospect, a fine day, and something to eat, are really all the

absolute requirements for a garden-party. In the neighborhood of New

York very charming garden-parties have been given: at the Brooklyn

Navy-yard and the camp of the soldier, at the head-quarters of the

officers of marines, and at the ever-lovely Governor’s Island.

 

Up the Hudson, out at Orange (with its multitudinous pretty

settlements), all along the coast of Long Island, the garden-party

is almost imperatively necessary. The owner of a fine place is

expected to allow the unfortunates who must stay in town at least

one sniff of his roses and new-mown hay.

 

Lawn-tennis has had a great share in making the garden-party

popular; and in remote country places ladies should learn how to

give these parties, and, with very little trouble, make the most of

our fine climate. There is no doubt that a little awkwardness is to

be overcome in the beginning, for no one knows exactly what to do.

Deprived of the friendly shelter of a house, guests wander forlornly

about; but a graceful and ready hostess will soon suggest that a

croquet or lawn-tennis party be formed, or that a contest at archery

be entered upon, or that even a card-party is in order, or that a

game of checkers can be played under the trees.

 

Servants should be taught to preserve the proprieties of the feast,

if the meal be served under the trees. There should be no piles of

dishes, knives, forks, or spoons, visible on the green grass;

baskets should be in readiness to carry off everything as soon as

used. There should be a sufficient quantity of glass and china in

use, and plenty of napkins, so that there need be no delay. The

lemonade and punch bowls should be replenished from the dining-room

as soon as they show signs of depletion, and a set of neat maid-servants can be advantageously employed in watching the table, and

seeing that the cups, spoons, plates, wine-glasses, and forks are in

sufficient quantity and clean. If tea is served, maid-servants are

better than men, as they are careful that the tea is hot, and the

spoons, cream, and sugar forthcoming. Fruit is an agreeable addition

to a garden-party entertainment, and pines, melons, peaches, grapes,

strawberries, are all served in their season. Pains should be taken

to have these fruits of the very best that can be obtained.

 

Claret-cup, champagne-cup, and soda-water, brandy and shandy-gaff,

are provided on a separate table for the gentlemen; Apollinaris

water, and the various aerated waters so fashionable now, are also

provided. Although gentlemen help themselves, it is necessary to

have a servant in attendance to remove the wine-glasses, tumblers,

and goblets as they are used, and to replenish the decanters and

pitchers as they are emptied, and to supply fresh glasses. Many

hospitable hosts offer their guests old Madeira, sherry, and port.

 

The decanters are placed on the regular luncheon-table, and glasses

of wine are carried by servants, on silver trays, to the ladies who

are sitting on the piazzas and under the trees. Small thin tumblers

are used for the claret and champagne cup, which should be held in

silver or glass pitchers.

 

If strawberries and cream are served, a small napkin should be put

between the saucer and plate, and a dessert spoon and fork handed

with each plate.

 

The servants who carry about refreshments from the tent or the table

where they are served should be warned to be very careful in this

part of the service, as many a fine gown has been spoiled, by a dish

of strawberries and cream or a glass of punch or lemonade being

overturned, through a servant’s want of care.

 

Ices are now served at garden-parties in small paper cups placed on

ice-plates—a fashion which is very neat, and which saves much of

the mussiness which has heretofore been a feature