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knew Zoe would be dead, or dying, bleeding out. Naomi was no longer her friend or her lover, whoever she'd been. Instead, the door sat closed with Shadow in the hall, barking towards the handle.

He followed behind as I pushed in. Zoe lifted her head, glaring back from the bed, still tucked in her embrace, the side of her face red with Naomi's blood. She scowled at our intrusion with an expression I'd never seen her wear. Lane and Andrew had turned before arriving.

“For your own protection,” I said, pushing the gun back in my waistband. “And ours, too,” I added.

“You never liked her,” Zoe’s voice barely said as she lay her head back down.

I bit my lip and stifled a reply, knowing nothing I could say would make a difference as I turned away, leaving the room, pushing the door as wide as it would go.

Cassie was in the hall with the others and followed as I ushered them into the main bedroom, pushing the door closed at our backs.

“I'm going to the village we saw on the way in.”

The three stared back, each face turning thoughtful. I could guess what they were thinking, Andrew especially, his gaze following toward the room next door.

I pulled the gun from my waistband and offered it in the centre. They each swapped glances.

“We need food, water, heat, if we can.”

They couldn't disagree with any part of what I'd said.

“You can't go without a weapon,” Andrew said, his eyes wide at the suggestion.

“I can't leave you without protection,” I replied. “At least I can run. It's quiet at the moment,” I said, nodding out of the back windows. “There might be somewhere better for us to stay tonight.”

There was silence as Andrew walked over to the window, pulling across the net curtains and staring outside.

“Your ribs?” Cassie replied, squinting down at my chest.

I shook my head; the empty feeling in my stomach was worse.

“I'll come with you,” Andrew replied.

I looked down at his side as he turned back.

“You're worse than me. Someone's got to look after the kids.” I held the gun out to Lane and he took it, pushing it into the pocket of his jacket.

“I'll come with you,” Cassie said.

My heart jumped.

“No,” I replied, without taking the time to consider the words. “The kids?”

A deep furrow arrived on her brow.

“I'm sure these two can take care of them. They've got the gun.”

I didn't reply, just stared in her eyes, trying not to get lost.

“Why don't you want me along?”

“It's not that,” I said, looking to Lane and then to Andrew for support.

Both had turned away, finding somewhere else to focus.

“You need more hands to carry what we find,” she replied, her voice impassioned.

“It's not safe,” I said, trying not to turn away.

“But you're the big hero, right?” she replied, pushing her hands to her hips.

“I don't want you in danger’s way.”

Her eyes flared wide as the words came.

“Because?” she said. “Say it.”

I looked up and somehow Lane and Andrew had slipped from the room.

“Because I'm a woman?”

“No,” I said. “Yes. But not because you're not strong or brave enough.”

I didn't see her shoulders relax. She tilted her head to the side; raised her eyebrows, telling me to say what I meant.

“Then what?” she replied, not able to wait any longer in the silence.

“Because I don't want to see you hurt. I like you,” I said, raising my voice. I stopped talking and she took a step backwards, turning, but not before a smile raised on her lips.

“A lot,” I added.

“Then I'll be good company,” she said, and headed out of the door.

Was she swinging her butt just a little as she left?

I took a deep breath and let the air slowly come out. I was nervous twice over. The run would be dangerous, but I was hopeful there would be food and water on the other side. Now I was nervous Cassie was coming along, but they were different nerves, more a feeling in my stomach. A feeling I hadn't felt since my wife had left my life.

Zoe's slow pained sobs pushed away my daydream. I took slow careful steps, standing at the doorframe, peering through. I didn’t know her pain, didn’t know what it was like to watch someone you love die.

At least Naomi had a chance; some hope. The boy had survived and so she might, too.

I drew a deep breath. I couldn't dwell; I had a job to do. I had to keep busy. It was time to get on with living.

Downstairs, rucksacks were piled by the front door. Cassie stood with her smile gone. In her hands, she offered a large duffel coat with the fur around the hood.

I pulled it on.

She was ready, her coat over her shoulders and buttons done up to her chin, the hood pulled high.

Andrew appeared from an under-stairs cupboard I hadn't noticed before, a crowbar and a long screwdriver in hand.

I wanted the crowbar; it would make a more effective weapon. I handed it to Cassie and took the screwdriver.

Andrew returned with a short, stubby torch which I pushed in my pocket.

I hugged no one goodbye. It wasn't the end. We wouldn't let it be.

“We're only going down the road,” I said as we left, Shadow barking as Andrew held him back, the locks turning as we ran past the farmer.

I glanced back, ignoring the pain as we raced along the road towards the village in the distance. Even then I knew we would not see them all again.

49

Soon we slowed from a fearful pace, letting the white vapour from our mouths settle. Other than the farmer limping from the cottage, we'd seen no

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