The Amish Teacher's Dilemma and Healing Their Amish Hearts Patricia Davids (best self help books to read TXT) 📖

She pressed her lips against his and slanted her face just enough to make their mouths fit together more perfectly. His heart started pounding so hard he knew she must hear it. Nothing had ever felt as right and as wonderful as her fingers when she laid her hands against his cheeks and let them slip into his hair. He thought he might die of happiness when she curled her fingers in his locks and held on.

Why couldn’t he have been smarter, more deserving of her?

When he drew back he looked at her stunned face. She was so lovely, so kind and funny. Everything he ever dreamed of finding in a wife. Everything he knew he couldn’t have.

He was struck with remorse. He couldn’t give her false hope. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Eva pressed a hand to her mouth. “Don’t say that. It was nice.” She rushed away without another word.

Why did he have to do that? Eva hadn’t been prepared. She stumbled toward her house. He wasn’t supposed to kiss her. They were friends. Only it wasn’t friendship that drew her to deepen the kiss and hold his face in her hands. She loved him. He had to know it now.

He wasn’t supposed to say he was sorry afterward. How was she going to act from now on? He had changed everything.

It was her first kiss. He shouldn’t have said he was sorry.

She could still feel the tingle on her lips. She stopped and looked back. He remained standing by the swings.

She rushed into her house being as quiet as possible. She didn’t want Danny’s sharp eyes noticing something was wrong. She didn’t want to explain what had happened because she didn’t understand it herself.

In her room, she sat down on the edge of her mattress and slowly took down her hair. What reason did Willis have for kissing her? She wasn’t foolish enough to think her beauty had robbed him of coherent thought. Was she reading more into it? Had he simply followed an impulse because he felt sorry for her and then regretted it? Poor Eva, never been kissed?

That would be the most logical explanation. It didn’t help her bruised ego. Tears filled her eyes. She was in love with Willis Gingrich and he was sorry he’d kissed her.

The sky was overcast but the rain held off for the first day of school. Some of the children arrived early enough to play outside on the playground equipment before coming in. The air was full of excitement, childish laughter and happy voices.

Eva greeted each of the students as they came in and introduced herself. Becca Beachy walked in with Annabeth. The little girl clutched her mother’s hand. She did not want to go to school.

“I hope you don’t mind if I sit in today,” Becca said.

Eva shook her head. “Of course I don’t mind. You may come as often as you wish.”

Maddie came running up the steps, eager to choose her desk from the ones in the front row. “Morning, Teacher. Willis said Bubble had to stay at home or at least outside. He said a girl my age doesn’t need an imaginary friend. I’m supposed to make real ones. Will you be my friend?”

Eva smiled and nodded. “I would love to be your friend. And I think Annabeth would also enjoy being your friend. Why don’t you go sit by her? She’s sort of scared today.”

“There isn’t anything to be scared of.” Maddie tromped to the front of the room.

Eva was as prepared as she could be. She had written out exactly what needed to be done for every part of the morning and afternoon on a long list. That sheet of paper sat squarely in the middle of her desk so she could refer to it as needed. At exactly eight o’clock she rang the bell and everyone took their seats. The murmur of voices died away.

She wrote her name on the blackboard and turned around to face the class. She had never been more nervous in her life. Fifteen eager children watched her every move. Her mouth went dry. She wasn’t going to be able to do this. What came next? She walked over to her desk only to discover her sheet of paper was gone. She checked underneath the desk and the chair but her list was nowhere to be found.

What next? She was going to blame Willis for making her so scatterbrained this morning. “Let’s begin the day with a song.”

One boy in the back held up his hand. “Shouldn’t you begin with a prayer?”

“That’s what I meant to say. A prayer. The Lord’s Prayer.”

Two of the girls from a newly arrived family rose to their feet. “Daed said we should all stand for a prayer.”

“Of course. Everyone stand, please.” As the class recited the prayer Eva prayed as hard as she could that she would make it through the day. What came next? Arithmetic assignments or reading with the first graders? When was recess?

“Amen,” they all said in unison. Then they were all staring at her, waiting for directions and her mind was blank.

Eva sat on one of the swings in the schoolyard after the last of the children went home. She didn’t want to return to Illinois, but she might not have a choice after this. Once Samuel Yoder heard about her first day of school, he was sure to start looking for a teacher who knew what she was doing.

“How did it go?”

She wasn’t surprised when Willis came over and took a seat beside her. She had been hoping to see him. The need to confide her failure was overpowering as was the need to find out why he had kissed her.

“My first day on the job was a complete and utter disaster. I don’t know why I ever thought I could be a teacher.”

“Were the students unruly? Was Otto part of the problem?”

“I was the only problem. I had made a list of all