How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You Leil Lowndes (nonfiction book recommendations .TXT) 📖

let him know you are supportive, sympathetic, and definitely there for him . . . in one sentence or less. Say, "Of course you're upset and if you'd like to talk about it, I'm here for you."

Period. Then just go about your own business. Do not be hurt if he chooses not share it with you. In his terms,

Page 215

he is demonstrating his respect for you by not burdening you with his problem.

TECHNIQUE #66 (FOR HUNTRESSES):

WHEN HE'S MAD, STAY MUTE

Huntresses, if your male Quarry is upset about something that has nothing to do with you, do not smoke him out of

his foxhole. Do not make him feel guilty for not telling you about it.

Let him know you're there if he wants to share, but give him the freedom to burrow in his foxhole until he is ready to crawl out all by himself.

36

A to Point B?"

"A Straight Line!" He Declares; "A Gentle Curve?" She Asks

Page 217

Another gentle habit of the gentle sex that, unfortunately, drives men stark raving berserk is that she hints at something she wants, or she turns it into the form of a tentative gentle question.

I was on a Sunday outing last fall with a couple who had just started dating each other. Susan and Jake were riding in the front seat and I was in the back as we headed upstate to see the changing leaves.

After we had been on the thruway for about an hour, Sue turned to Jake, who was driving, and asked,

"Golly, would you like to stop for a coffee?"

"Nah," Jake said. A little miffed, Susan turned around and looked at me. We just shrugged at each other.

A little while later, she tried again. "Gosh, Jake, do you think there might be a rest area coming up soon?"

"I'm not sure," he answered.

Five miles later Jake whizzed by a rest stop with a big "Fresh Hot Coffee" sign out front. Susan turned around to me

Page 218

with wide eyes and that ' Can you believe this brute?'

look on her face. She leaned back and crossed her arms. I could tell she was upset.

Poor Susan. I finally decided I should speak up. "Uh, Jake," I said, "I think Susan wanted to stop for a cup of coffee."

"Well, why didn't she say so?" Jake asked, genuinely confused. "But I did!" Susan grumbled.

"Gee, Sue, I must not have heard you." I could tell that Jake was beginning to think his new girlfriend was a bit moody. "Sure," he said. "We'll stop at the next restaurant."

Was Jake being insensitive? Not at all. He was merely taking Susan's questions literally. Did he want coffee? No. Did he think a restaurant was nearby? He wasn't sure.

Was Susan overreacting? Not at all. If Jake was ignoring her wishes as she thought he was, she had every right to be angry. But he wasn't. He was just thinking like a man.

Susans and Jakes all over America are plummeting head-first into the communications gap on first dates.

Many emerge rubbing their wounds and vowing not to go out with the other ever again.

When smart tourists go to Paris, they learn a little French to avoid being shunned by the Parisians.

When smart Hunters and Huntresses go out on dates, they learn a few opposite-sex phrases to avoid inadvertently turning off their Quarry.

TECHNIQUE #67 (FOR HUNTRESSES):

DON'T HINT-SAY IT STRAIGHT

Huntresses, realize that your Quarry will take your questions literally. When you want something, say "I want" or "I'd like to." When you really meanI, avoid phrases like "Wouldyoulike to" or "Do youthink we should . . .?"

Gentlemen, for you the reverse is true. For example, on a long drive with your Quarry, you're dying to stop for lunch. Instead of just saying "I'm hungry"

and making a sharp swerve into the next fast-food joint, ask her if she'd like something to eat. She'll probably answer, "Would you?" After you say yes, ask her what kind of food she think, would be good.

Let her answer.Thenyou can make a sharp swerve for the nearest grub.

Page 219

TECHNIQUE #68 (FOR HUNTERS):

PUT SOME SOFT CURVES IN YOUR

CONVERSATION

Hunters, instead of telling her what the two of you are going to do, ask her opinion first. Also, when your

Quarry asks you a question, don't take it literally.

Read between the lines to see what she's hinting at.

When she asks, "Would you like to," it probably meanshewould like to.

37

Page 221

Whatls good for the gander can be ghastly for the goose. Several years ago I learned this the hard way.

A friend of mine, George, was at my house helping me with renovations. On that Saturday afternoon he was in the kitchen putting down some new molding.

Meanwhile I was in the living room struggling to rewire an old lamp.

I peered in the kitchen at him sitting dejected and cross-legged on the floor. Poor George was obviously confused as he tried to fit two angle pieces of corner molding together. He looked like a frustrated kid who had just discovered that his Lego toys don't fit. I cheerfully breezed into the kitchen and said, "Hey, George, I've got a miter box down in the basement. It will be a lot easier if you use that. Let me go get it."

It surprised me that George wasn't too receptive to my suggestion. He declined, saying, no, he could do it fine his way. Thanks very much anyway. I went back to my lamp. At that point I started having trouble shaving the wires. I felt some irritation that George wasn't offering to help me.

Then I noticed that he was putting down the molding before staining it. Once again, I put on my smile, bounced into the kitchen, and said, "You know, I have some stain in the base-Page 222

ment. It might be a good idea to stain the molding first. Then you won't need to worry about getting it on the kitchen floor."

Now, George is a fairly even-tempered chap, but he snapped. "Leil," he said sharply, "don't you trust me to do the job on my own?" "Well, of course I do," I