Leaving Home Chase, A. (best self help books to read txt) 📖

hand that gripped his was Tony’s. Peter could tell by the scar running the

width of Tony’s palm, where a piece of fencing had sliced it open.

“I’m sorry, Peter. Les is right. Just because I’m pissed off doesn’t mean I should let it go here.”

He tightened his fingers. “You’re pissed off and scared. Not just at what happened to

me, but you’re thinking about all those events Chaz worked. You’re trying to figure out how

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LEAVING HOME T.A. Chase 137

many of them Chaz did while stoned. All you can see is the risk he put you and other riders in.”

“And the risk he took with you. I don’t care what the fuck he does to himself, Peter, but when he starts endangering people I care about, that’s when I draw the line.”

Tony grunted and Peter imagined someone, more than likely Brody, had elbowed him.

“Don’t. He has the right to feel that way. I just can’t deal with everyone right now. I’d like to be alone.”

“All right, everyone. Head to the cafeteria and make up a schedule about who is going

to sit with Peter. He’s not left alone for a minute.” Les organised the troops.

Peter didn’t have the energy to tell them he didn’t need babysitting like a child. As

much as he’d prefer to be alone, he was secretly glad that they cared so much about him to rearrange their lives so he didn’t get lonely.

There was a brush of fingers over his head as each person left. The only person who

didn’t leave was Les, and somehow Peter had known he wouldn’t. Once the door had closed

behind them, Les climbed out of bed to walk around the foot. When Peter felt Les’ gaze on his face, he opened his eyes.

Les touched his cheek for a second before he pulled up a chair to sit in. “I know it’s

hard, and it will take time for the hurt to fade. I’m not telling you to rush or anything.”

Peter frowned. He hurt and ached in so many places, all he wanted to do was curl up

under his blankets and sleep forever. He wasn’t up for riddles or mind games.

“What are you trying to tell me, Les?”

His friend smiled before saying, “What I’m trying to say is give him time. Chaz looked

devastated when he walked away from here. I wouldn’t be surprised if he entered a rehab

centre right from here.”

Peter shot Les an incredulous glance. “You’re kidding me, right? I thought he’d quit

while he stayed with me in August. I should’ve known better.

“Sometimes people need a wake-up call, Peter. They need to see what they can lose if

they don’t change their path. Yet I think, for Chaz, he didn’t want to admit that losing you could be the worst thing for him.” Les took a deep breath before continuing. “For most of his life, the most terrible event that could happen to Chaz was losing his job. He couldn’t see his future without bullfighting.”

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LEAVING HOME T.A. Chase 138

Shaking his head, Peter grunted. “I still don’t understand why it should make any

difference to me. He never loved me enough to try and break his addiction, Les. Are you

trying to make me feel guilty about sending Chaz away? Or sympathy for what he did?”

Les stood, then moved off to the window. He braced his hand against the glass as he

stared out. “No, I don’t want you to feel guilty or sympathetic. You have every right to be angry and hurt by what he did. I’m not saying that. I just want you to know that there might come a time when you will need to forgive him for you to move on. Please, don’t let the

bitterness and hurt block you from doing that.”

“You said he always saw not being a bullfighter as the worst thing that could happen to

him. Has something changed? What could have changed now that hadn’t in the months since

I met him?” Peter scrubbed his hand over his face.

Maybe he was just too inexperienced or young to understand what Les was talking

about, though Peter had no doubt Randy would totally know what was going on. So it

probably didn’t have anything to do with age.

“What changed was the car accident. Suddenly Chaz was faced with the realisation that

he could lose the one thing he never thought he’d find.” Les turned around to look at him.

“He could have lost you, Peter, and I think it hit home. The EMTs told me how he acted

while they were pulling you out of the truck. Chaz was freaking out to the point where the fire rescuer guys had to hold him from going after you.”

Peter wasn’t sure he believed that, though he could vaguely remember hearing

someone shouting even louder than the firefighters and EMTs who were trying to get him

out of the vehicle. But he had no clue whether it was Chaz or not.

“Chaz discovered you meant more to him than his job ever would, because in the end

his job was finite. He wasn’t going to be a bullfighter much longer. His body was breaking down, and it didn’t matter how many pills he popped. Peter, when he saw you lying there,

his world came crashing down around him, and he had the revelation that he loves you.”

Snorting, Peter rolled his eyes. Sure, Chaz loved him so much, the man had got behind

the wheel high, and when Peter had called him on it, he’d just left the room. Jesus!

Everything was all fucked up, and Peter didn’t know what to do. Tears leaked from the

corners of his eyes.

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Les returned to the bed, then wiped Peter’s cheeks. “I know it doesn’t seem like he cares about anything except the drugs, but honey, he does love you. Trust me, I know what love

looks like, and Chaz had that expression on his face the entire time he sat by your bed.”

“He was here?”

Les nodded. “Yes, until you opened your eyes the first time. You weren’t really awake,

but we knew you’d be okay then. When that happened, he