Leaving Home Chase, A. (best self help books to read txt) 📖

Peter remembered how it felt to laugh with Chaz, to just snuggle on the couch and

watch movies. He missed having someone in his bed. All of his emotions were usually under control, but in moments like this, where he watched Derek and Max kiss, sadness and

wishful thinking washed over him.

What would his life be like if Chaz had kicked the drugs and chosen him over them?

Would he be happy, or would their relationship have burned itself out long before now? He didn’t know, and Chaz’s disappearance meant he’d never find out.

Peter wandered back to his desk before sitting in his chair. He propped his elbows on

the arms before resting his chin on his hands. He didn’t see the computer screen in front of him. He saw the last image he had of Chaz. His lover had stood there with tears running

down his cheeks, agreeing to stay away from him and that he’d never been good enough for

Peter. All of Peter’s words had been said in anger and pain, but he’d had no chance to take them back. Chaz had disappeared without giving Peter a chance to apologise.

He closed his eyes and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Why was he fixating on

Chaz? It was apparent that the man wanted nothing to do with him. Actually, it looked like Chaz wanted nothing to do with anything from his old life. Recently, Tony had checked the PBR schedule to see if Chaz was working any of the events, and all Tony had said he could find out was that Chaz had taken time off for personal reasons. No one would tell Tony

anything else. Peter had been shocked to hear that. He’d never thought Chaz would give up being a bullfighter. Hell, it was the whole reason why Chaz had started taking the painkillers to begin with.

And since that day in the hospital, it seemed like Chaz had dropped off the face of the

earth. Yet when Peter had called Chaz’s brother, Matthew, to make sure that Chaz was all

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LEAVING HOME T.A. Chase 148

right, Matthew had told him not to worry about Chaz, just to focus on healing himself. He’d only talked to Matthew that once, yet Peter wished they could have chatted longer.

The doorbell rang, and Peter considered getting up to answer the front door, but

decided that Janice, Derek’s housekeeper, would probably get there before he could. Taking another deep breath, Peter straightened before clicking his mouse to bring up the

spreadsheets he’d been working on. He needed to get three more done before he could call it a day. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do tonight, but he knew he wouldn’t be

intruding on Max and Derek. He certainly didn’t want to force his mood on them.

A knock on his office door surprised him. Most of the people who lived on the ranch

didn’t bother knocking—they’d just walk in. Even Janice did, though it had taken her a

month or two before she was comfortable enough with him to do that.

“Come on in,” he called.

Max pushed the door open before walking in. He looked so serious, Peter worried that

someone had died.

“Is everyone all right?” He jumped to his feet, ready to grab his keys and head to

wherever he needed to be.

“They’re all fine,” Max reassured him before waving him over to the couch on the

opposite wall of his office.

Peter went over to join Max as the man sat. Max stared at him, obviously trying to

decide how to tell him something.

“What’s wrong? Why do you look so serious?” Peter wanted to fidget with his shirt.

Max patted Peter’s hand. “Nothing’s wrong. Someone’s here to see you. I’m just not

sure if you should talk to him. It might not be the best thing for you, even though Les thinks it is.”

Peter frowned. “Well, if Les says it’s okay, then I’m sure it will be. He wouldn’t do

anything to hurt me.”

“I know that. Hell, Les takes care of all of us, and he’s like an expert meddler. I don’t know how he does it. Somehow he always knows the best thing to do for each of us.” Max

shook his head.

“Right. So you might as tell me who’s here, because if you don’t, I’ll call Les and tell

him about you not letting me know.” Peter knew how to threaten Max.

“Fine. I guess you can decide whether you want to see him or not.”

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Peter’s ears perked up. “Him?”

“Yes. Chaz is in the living room.”

Peter froze, not sure he had heard Max right. “Chaz is here?”

Max nodded. “Yes, and he’s waiting in the living room. He apologised to us for what he

did to you. I’m not entirely convinced, but Derek seems to think I should give you the choice whether to talk to him or not.”

“Ummm…” Peter didn’t know what to say. His heart raced and it made him feel like he

was running the Indy 500 and was gunning to win. His palms got sweaty and he rubbed

them on his pants.

He ran his fingers over the scars on his left arm from the surgery he’d had to repair the broken bones. For months after the accident, Peter would grow angry when he saw those

scars. Yet, as he’d healed and the terror from that night had faded, his rage had slowly

disappeared as well.

Peter had ended up deciding it wasn’t worth the energy to stay mad at Chaz. There was

the possibility of Peter getting hurt worse by his own anger than anything Chaz had done to him.

Max slung his arm around Peter’s shoulder. “You don’t have to see him, Peter. Neither

Derek nor I will force you. Just say the word, and I’ll send him on his way. He told me he wouldn’t argue if you said you didn’t want to see him.”

“I want to see him,” Peter blurted, then ducked his head. “I’m just nervous. What will

he think when he sees me? Where has he been for a year? Why haven’t I heard from him

since he left the