Not My Mother Miranda Smith (chromebook ebook reader .TXT) 📖

“I knew it.” Des is smiling, gently rocking back on her heels. “I knew Eileen wouldn’t have done all those things they were saying.”

“When did you do this?” Carmen asks.

“Two days ago. I just received the results.”

“You submitted the test?”

“No. Rick did.”

Her head jerks, another hint at annoyance, then she goes back to examining the paper.

“You’d warned me not to do it, but I couldn’t stand not knowing anymore,” I tell Carmen, feeling the need to explain. “I couldn’t stand the waiting. Who knows when Mom will be able to talk about any of this? I had to come to terms with the results, but I wasn’t expecting this. This changes a lot.”

“This changes everything.” Carmen looks at me, and I can tell she’s trying hard not to smile. “If Eileen is your biological mother, we might be able to get the kidnapping charges dropped. Or even better, the police might have the wrong person after all.”

“Might?” Des turns around to get a better look at Carmen.

“If the Parkers were your legal guardians, say through adoption, she could still be charged. But there’s never been anything in court records about the Parkers being adoptive parents.”

There’s been nothing in the media, either. For decades, Amelia Parker has been cast as the woman whose child was stolen from her. Now it appears I wasn’t that child. A victory for me, but it means Amelia’s child is still out there.

“Do you think maybe I’m not Baby Caroline after all?”

“I don’t know. They could have the wrong person, but all the evidence that’s been gathered thus far suggests Eileen definitely went by the name Sarah Paxton,” Carmen says. “It seems most likely the police have the wrong suspect entirely, which means Baby Caroline is probably still out there.”

“What if they still have something proving Eileen attacked Bruce Parker?” Des asks.

“You said Mom’s fingerprints were found at the scene,” I add.

“There’s still more we need to understand, but this is a huge first step. I’m sure the prosecution assumed a DNA test would connect you to Amelia, not Eileen.” She sits down, crossing her legs, but continues to hold the paper as though it’s a winning ticket she refuses to let out of sight. “You said Rick ran the test. How did you get a sample of Eileen’s DNA?”

“She leaves an overnight bag at the house for when she watches Ava. I took her toothbrush and ran it against mine.”

It was right there, sitting next to Amelia’s drinking glass in the cabinet. I think I’d forgotten about it until that moment.

“Why didn’t you submit a test with Amelia’s DNA? She’s the one who has been pressuring you to take one.”

“I don’t know,” I say, considering what I’d contemplated while Rick was sitting in the other room.

It would have been easy to call Amelia and tell her my intentions, but another part of me, the loyal part, thought I needed to resolve this situation with Mom first. I needed to know she wasn’t my biological mother before I could fully open up to Amelia, accept that she was. And I thought receiving the news that I wasn’t related to Mom would be easier to swallow in private, whereas Amelia would have been elated by the results.

My stomach churns when I think of Amelia now. This will be catastrophic for her. Somewhere along the line, a mistake has been made. Her hopes have been catapulted higher than ever before. She has accepted the fact that I’m her daughter. That she has a granddaughter, even. She has given me her time, offered me money. When she finds out the truth, that Baby Caroline is still out there, all that hope will come crashing down. I’m heartbroken for her.

My phone rings, pulling me away from my thoughts and ending the conversation between Carmen and Des. They watch me, waiting.

“It’s the hospital,” I say.

“Answer it,” Des says, waving her hand.

I answer and listen to what the nurse on the other end is telling me. I nod along, saying “Okay” when appropriate. The excitement and grief in my chest rise and fall as I follow her words. I hang up.

“We need to go to the hospital.”

“Why?” Des and Carmen ask in unison.

“Mom is awake.”

34 EileenThen

Do you know how unprepared I was to be a mother? I never even went to the doctor until after I’d made my proposition to Amelia. I’d taken the store-bought pregnancy test as gospel and was taking daily vitamins, but I was too scared to admit your existence to anyone outside of Jamie or the women at the center.

After we started talking about adoption, Amelia insisted I see someone and offered her own personal doctor. She accompanied me to his private clinic and made sure to pay all the medical expenses. You weren’t even born yet, but she was giving you the best care.

I met Bruce once for lunch, and he seemed thrilled about the prospect of being a father. After so many years of trying, parenthood was happening for them. And I was proud to be a part of that. Amelia’s lawyers got the paperwork in order. By the time you arrived—three days late, mind you—everything was set.

Jamie had returned for your birth, even though it meant missing a midterm exam. I’m not sure what I would have done without her. She held my hand the entire time. She rubbed my back when the contractions became overwhelming, but she couldn’t stand to watch me hand you over to Amelia. She said she respected the decision I made, but it was all too sad for her to witness. I couldn’t help wondering if she felt like I was giving a part of Cliff away.

I was sad, too, of course. But I knew the risks of being raised by an unprepared parent. I was a product of two. At that point in my life, the best thing I could do was give you the opportunities I was never given. I was